final's is in less than 2 weeks away..
feeling the stress building up..
falling sick..
i almost used up a box of tissue today..
been sneezing all day while i was studying 21..
yeah.. thank goodness the first 3 topics for 21 will not be covered in finals...
nevertheless, i spent my entire day just studying 2 of the 5 topics..
it;s so scary.. feeling insecure coz i still cant too many of the tutorial questions though it was at least my 3rd time looking thru them..
thank god it;s open book.. i still have tut qns to refer to..
wad concepts are there realli?
just gotta learn how to apply the equations i guess..
having mixed feelings about 21 finals..
a part of me hopes tt the paper will be easy.. so tt i'll be able to do it well.. but then again, so will the rest... n i didnt do well for mid term.. so.. dunno if it'll be good or bad..
if it's difficult, yeah.. perhaps i;ll have a better chance to better my grades..
but.. will i be able to do the paper?
this feeling is bad...
may be it's time to take a look at the past year papers to have a feel..
at least it'll be more encouraging if i can do them...
tt's if i can...

just read can's blog..
pleasantly surprised by this video she made for coach..
oh gosh.. i miss tk softball days...
n yah it almost brought me to tears though most of the scenes are not taken from my batch..
i miss coach. i miss cheryl. i miss playing tough. i miss playing rough.
i miss diving for balls. i miss giving my all to the competitions.
at tough times like these, it;s great to recall these beautiful memories..

happy birthday to manling~!!!

It's manling's birthday today~!!!
she's already 13 years old.. tt's 91 human age..
gosh...
right.. i went to garden's pet shop to buy her some presents..
did u noe tt there are chocolates specially made for gods?!
the one i bought has mint too~!!!
so pampered~!!
ohh n i got her some turkey thingy.. wrapped like those european ham...
took some videos of her.. but i dunno if you tube accepts the special file..
hahaha...

SIN: holiday planning

10 things to do this coming holiday:
1. 03s44 gathering
2. japan trip from 15th to 23rd dec
3. ktv with dear
4. holiday project - diy jewellery box & dear's present?
5. shopping for materials for holiday project
6. accompany dear for camera hunt
7. learn cooking
8. learn web skills
9. chalet???
10. sentosa adventure

Life is...

NOT all about mugging..
I've been slogging in my books for coming to 14 years..
throwing almost everything aside during examination periods..
yesterday afternoon, i saw my dear doggie n suddenly realise one of the things i haven been missing out..
my dearest pet dog, manling has been staying with us for almost 13 years..
yes, tt's 91 doggie years..
can u imagine how old she is already?
she was having some problems with closing her jaws..
it looked like she was shivering...
i stopped and tried to have a good look at her...
and was shocked to see how much she has aged...
still bubbly and almost as active as before, i never realised tt she was so old..
probably becoz of her jaw problems, the fur below her mouth were all wet and stained brown with saliva..
her black round eyes were beginning to coat with this extra layer..
which explains her recent occasional bumpings with the legs of the chairs..
her fur were still white but dull...
it saddens me to see her age so much..
the tot tt she might not be living for long struck me..
and i couldnt help but cry and hug her tightly in my arms..
n the reason y i love her so much is becoz she seems to understands us, humans quite well..
she seemed to understand y i was crying..
she started licking my hand when i was hugging her..
n when i looked at her, i saw these consoling eyes looking back at me..
she was also sniffing around my face and almost licked me there..
haha.. eww...
it just makes me feel worse seeing her response..
i decided to take a few videos of her with my camera..
may be i shud make an album of her this holiday..
cant imagine how life wud be without her bumping in n out of the house and waiting under the table for food during dinner..

i am guilty for neglecting my dog for wad i used to believe tt is more impt at my age..
she is more than a pet, she's like a part of my family..
it makes me wonder wad else i have missing out in my life...
have i not been filial to my granny, not giving her enough attention n all?
have i not been playing the eldest daughter role well by helping my lil bro with his studies and also to lighten the load and worries of my parents?
have i....
have i....
have i....?

LOnG loNg NItE..

have u ever felt like u didn't wan the night to ever end?
well, besides at romantic dates with your love one..
were there any occasions when u didnt wan the night to end?

i experience this just a few days ago...
chem engine is such a high demanding course..
time has never past so fast in my life before..
i was lying on my bed, watching some chinese drama when the tot came..
some where in the corner of my mind, i knew that i have lots to do..
n yet.. the lazy me didnt wan to do any work..
it was 12 midnight...
i didnt want to do any work.
i wasnt really enjoying any shows on the tv..
and the silliest tot came across my mind..
i didnt want to sleep becoz i was afraid tt another day will end n pass by just like tt...
with nth much accomplished..
and i wud lose more time to complete all tt i had to do..
i stoned for almost an hour..
n finally realise the unfortunate fact that time will not stop for me..
time will not stop just becoz i stop all work..
it will just pass by as it always did..
whether u make use of it or not..
it was then, i decided to sleep.. n hopefully wake up early the next day to start my "self-torture" again..

this sem is tough in the way tt the modules make u feel unsure of where u stand, unsure of wad u can do to do well..
the fact tt it is difficult to do well makes it much more discouraging..
i;ve been trying to find all ways to spice up my boring, "slaverish"life as a student..
cooked lunch for lil bro n me yesterday..
may be i can upload the pic i took of my creation~!
so much said... it's time to go back to my books..
sigh... how can i do well?