SiCk & tIrEd OF UnI lIfE...

it's been 11 days since i last posted..
been so busy trying to catch up with work after the last 2 mid term papers..
n final exams are in less than a mth's time..
everyone's busy mugging...
no time for fun..
no time for bonding..
no time for nth...
if onli we have 48 h a day..
2 brains, 4 hands and teleport technology..
so we have more time to complete our daily tasks..
so that we can think faster, work faster..
n i wouldnt have to travel an hour to sch n take another hour to return..
a typical engineer's sch day is dreadfully long..
it's such a pain to travel so far..
i still wish to stay in hall sometimes..
at least i could save an hour for extra sleep n hence extra time for work..
ya but then again, hall commitments come along...
selfish i am.. i dun give a damn..
one year is the max i would stay if i were gg to...
my maths is lagging like crazy..
prog pract is coming soon...
so many tutorials to complete every week..
cant seem to find time to mug for final paper..
freakin stressed up...
my caps was washed into the drain becoz of some unfortunate events and complications..
they dun look like they're gonna climb any higher this sem..
considering the condition i;m in right now...
sigh... a high price i have to pay for all the wrong paths i've taken last sem..
to lose a first class degree..
i failed to reach my goal right from the beginning..
how encouraging..

Celebrating a Decade of TK softball..

wow time flies.. coach have been coaching for about 12 years in TK..
back from the time when the seniors have no field to train in..
they had to train in the basketball court..
even till sz wha's batch, they had to roll newspapers to make "bullets" to practice their batting because they dun have enought balls..
n my batch.. the first youngest gals to go to China for training..
it was the turning point of TK softball history..
according to Candice, we were 2nd last in SBSA, the annual softball carnival..
after we came back from Beijing, we improved so much..
n who would expect such a team to become the champions..
i personally never did realised we came so far..
until half way thru the finals..
along with Candice's batch, we became the first batch of TK gals who won the championship title for C gals..
in sec4, we were also the first batch to win B gals champs..
those were days... the speical moments i treasure most..
gg thru the worst shit n seeing ur hardwork pay off...
i love my toughest times more than the glorious moments when we win games..
becoz those were the times, we stick thru tog as a team...
i miss teamwork, miss the bonding, miss the times when we were burning with fire when we playing against some of our toughest opponents..
the juniors did not let us down ever since then..
we were always one of the top schools...
i am so proud of TKGS softball..
i truly believe, like wad Candice said last night..
Softball is the best CCA in TKGS..
but we owe all of our achievements to one person..
Coach Jo..
i havent met anyone who has so much passion and love for the sport..
her life is devoted to softball..
i was so touched and so inspired when i saw how she fought against cancer..
she continued to coach us when she was sick..
when she has to go thru chemoteraphy..
she held on and always put on an indifferent image in front of us, despite all the pain she has endured thru the treatment..
she's the strongest woman i have met.. both physically and mentally..
despite all her naggings, some of her ridiculous punishments like "eating grass", she is actually a very motherly and caring coach in my heart..
i thank her for all the values and skills she has imparted to me..
i hope i can help to introduce this sport to more people in future, if i get the chance to..

we celebrated last evening in TK.. check out the link on the side bar of the online album i have created.. here are some of the pics we took:

~Our cake

~Our coaches

~ The gals i helped to coach...

taking it no more..

when was my last post?
alright.. new beginning for me..
may we all live happily ever after...
"discard it, shirley"
new blog add?
it's quite a hassel eh?
shall give it a pass..

down the drain it goes...

"the end..."
tt's the phrase to describe our frenship...
sigh.. wad a pity..
i did believe we would go on 4ever.. but it didnt..
i tried to believe tt we could still be gd frens.. but we couldnt..

was i wrong?
think it's quite debatable..
wrong to express my personal opinions in my blog?
no right to interpret, no right to think?

ya the fact is tt i was wrong about him..
he wasnt looking at us.
he never looked away.
he couldnt be bothered to look at us.

it;s my own wishful thinking..
i am full of myself? may be i am?
were we never guilty of tt?

*shakes head
sigh.. i dunno y this is happening..
it;s sad.. it;s just realli realli sad..

someone who used to be so close to me,
is like a stranger now...
or may be he even sees me as a foe..

so many things i wished tt i have never done...
if onli i could change back time..
everything and everyone will be better off...

fear?

i wonder if fate is fooling with us...
wad is it supposed to mean?
time for us to come back to reality and face our fears?
i was there.. kinda freaked out when i see tt familiar back..
wasnt prepared... never tot tt would happen..
ya.. i was hoping tt we could look at each other face to face, eye to eye...
it would have ended everything nicely..

but we didnt have the chance to..
or rather i didnt have the chance to..

so went to the lib with dear..
and there he was..
sitting just opp..
anything more coincident?
they have a common fren..
ha...
i was wondering y those big eyes were staring at me when we came in..
now i noe..
i tried not to run away..
aint a coward...

my heart did race when i first saw tt face opp...
i was like "what the..."
perhaps it's all fated..
so ya..
i tried to look him in the eye..
but he didnt dare to look back..
dear said they were exhanging stares..
even jason was involved..

ha.. so weird..
thankfully dear was understanding enuff...
thanks sweetie for being there for me..

i noe y there's a diff in our responses...
i havent done wrong..
he did..
guilt stole away his courage to look at the gal he hurt so badly..
did it?
or has he always been trying to escape from all his problems?
somehow it was expected...

may be i did do wrong..
dear tot me...
he said this.. which hit me right at the head...
"a couple shud grow together and solve all problems together. if the r/s is worthy and u try hard enuff and work together, nth is impossible to solve. if u do treasure the r/s so much, you wouldnt let go of it so easily."
sth like tt...
ya... i made an impulsive decision then..
not tt it's wrong..
it's probably the right one considering wad's happening now...
but if i did loved him so much then, how could i have initiated a break up so easily?
the onli excuses i can find for myself is tt i was shaken, utterly dissapointed becoz it meant so much to me.. impulsive....
bad excuse huh?

this is for me.. wad about him?
may be it was just an excuse to get himself out of the r/s..
aries likes adventure and try new things..
may be i was just too boring..
was i?
too sweet? too understanding? too forgiving for you?

sigh... no pt brooding over wad has happened..
but ya.. lesson learnt..
ha.. n it came from dear..
who supposedly... ahahaha.. shall not disclose...

o well.. at least i tried.. n i wasnt afraid..
thank god dear was there...
muackz~!!!
love u...

stressed and yet happy?

sigh.. been having a hard time catching up..
dun even have time to blog..
i'm almost there.. almost...
still hanging there..

went to watch final destination 3 with dear on saturday..
it's not for the weak heart..
totally gross..
ha.. we were like covering our mouth most of the time..
dear was even covering my face when the 2 naked babes were burning in the tanning machines..
lol...

ooo.. then the best destressing way of the year..
indulge in jap buffet in sukisushi.. hehehe :P
not very satisfied coz i didnt get to eat the lil red octopus.. :P
but it's still damn shiok...
our next spot shall be kushinbo after my mid terms or after final papers..

haiz.. so much happened..
cried again..
cant wait for exams to be over..
i need my holidays..
unwind..
and leave everything bad behind..