hi bloggie... i'm pissed... i dun realli noe y... yesterday nite had a long chat with K.... was trying to help him find his virus scan programme... seems like he's realli a computer idiot... anyway, our cht didnt end well.. i hung up after he said some stuff which was offending in a way.... now tt i've sort of cooled down... he's actually rite about some stuff.. just tt pple of my age..or should i say pple around me so far has not been so open and vocal about such stuff that they can tok about such things so openly... i was so angry... so angry tt he saw me like the so called bitches he have met... or perhaps not..beoz tt's wad i assumed... i'm quite confused.... it's weird... why do guys treat gals like gems for a moment and dirt the other moment? if u realli like someone, would u treat someone like tt? i'm such an attention seeker.... even though i may not like him the same way as he claims he does for me, i enjoy all tt attention so much.... getting obsessed with it... and getting affected when i lost the attention.. ya like now... he hasnt replied my sms...i've sent 4! wth... i wont beg.... dun even dream of it.. but then again, is he also offended by my replies? hm.. i wonder... may be i'm in the wrong....

hi bloggie... havent posted anything for so many days... hm.. my comp crashed AGAIN! WTH! it's stupid... lousy comp tt get infected by god noes wad so easily...  i'm never ever gonna d/l anything the next time i use that comp...
just read efei's blog... ya... agree with him... agree with jieli... wonder why am i so curious about other pple's life... wad about mine? how often do i reflect on my own? actually i like reading other's blog... i like to read my own and laff at the silly things i wrote in the past few mths... hm... i wonder how many pple read my blog..bugt i'm sure there are a few regulars.... i guess i read my fren's blog becoz i care... because i wan to noe how they are doing.. becoz i miss some of them... becoz i dun wan to ask them personally how they're doing... may be becoz i just wan to support them, to be there for them without them knowing... things seem to be much simpler this way...
 
just read the forwarded email efei posted... ya it struck me too... my love life is realli in a mess now... somehow it's just so weird.. things which u long for them to happen dun happen they way u wan it to be... things which u least expect and not wan them to happen just happens so... ok..yes this is confusing... well... my love life is so too... i didnt want to get close to any other guys...as in, just to prevent myself from falling in love or the guy from developing feelings for me... i have my As... i need to concentrate...i noe tt very well and i have constantly reminded myself... den the wrong stuff start to happen... first i met a guy, E who was so perfect..."was"... yes was... unbelievably, i fell in love with him onli after meeting him for the second time... and yes.. it was mutual... the first time such miracle happen on me... but this dream was so short... too bad...i realli like him a lot... but it was just a crush to him... and yes... just as his frens have commented... not sure if he also feels so for other gals..but ya... his feelings for me died just after tt few weeks... crap.. it was so disappointing.... the story from the forwarded email reminded me.... tt perhaps i still have feelings him.. it's like on and off... just realised it was never gone... should i tell him tt i still have feelings for him? or should i just keep quiet... hide in the dark adn be there for him if he ever calls for my help? it's unfair...his heart is still with her... no one can take her place... j j j forever... i'm so jealous... but it no longer matter tt much... becoz i wan him to be happy.... it's ok tt i am jealous.. it's ok tt i'm sad.... jus as long as he's happy...

ok..well, den comes another one, L... whom i had no intention to get close to... it's so stupid? i dunno how to describe it... jus unwanted attention.... just didnt wan anyone to like me..to woo me... just felt tt i rather be alone...ya..i rejected him... he's definitely not the guy i'm looking for...so ya... incidentally there's another D whose birthday falls on the same day as the previous... ya...he likes me too..for some reason.. i dunno y... it realli makes me wonder... am i tt pretty? am i tt attractive? am i tt good? why? why are these guys falling for me? are they realli serious when they say they like me? or issit a crush like the first? wad a pity... i'm not perfect... i'm nice..but i'm not tt nice... have u all seen the ugly side of me? would u still like me if u have seen tt side of me?

hm well... I didnt reject D..neither did i accept him.. well, he didnt ask...so... hm... tt's gd in a way.. becoz i have no answers... i dunno y... it's so complicated... he's a good fren... and becoz of how we're related, i guess i would rather to keep things the way they are... like in the past... may be becoz we see each other so often... i'm afraid of facing things if we ever have any problems if we do get together.. things may turn out to be very ugly... well, at least for me.. i noe myself pretty well... i'll turn things reali sour...so ya... better not.. at least not now... and yes, i feel guilty... somehow sth tells me tt i should let D noe about ther other guys in my life... like a sense or responsibility... but another advises me not to... coz it';ll make him sad.. and i hate to do tt...i've made guys sad...too many... i had enuff....

hm... den... comes K.... somehow for some reasons, he's also "fond" of me... i quote from wad he said... i'm realli puzzled.... y me? wad's so good about me? i dunno K well...so i always avoid him from poping the question... so ya.... and yes... he pissed me off a few times... my patience and EQ are developing well.. haha...

ai ya.. crap... wad is this... all these happens in such a short period! why? why? why? am i too nice to guys? do i open myself too much? but i'm like tt... i'm straight forward.. tt's the way i am... i say wad i feel... i care for my frens... and yes... i show it... cant realli put it to words.. but i show it with my actions... hm.. may be i should not be so nice to guys huh? den perhaps such stuff wont happen.. at least not so many!

Listening to : Leave (Get out) by jojo
Mood: Fucking confused...lost...
Why this colour? suits my mood...

o u noe wad?  there was these lesbian couple on the bus just now... my god..i think the kissed in front of me.. i wanna puke! so disgusting! but the passive side one is quite chio..and her hair so seh... but too bad she's a les..ok...gd.. this proves tt i'm not a bi... muahaha... i once suspected so...
o... and den when i was walking home from the bus stop, i walked past the stadium... there were two idiots exercising in the stdium under the hot sun! as in realli hot!!! i think i'll be barbecued if i were them... think they're trying to sun tan their body or sth..and they wore real short shorts... haha.. their butts are gonna be so white!!! but they got gd body u noe? so well built.. got well toned and well built muscles but not too big.... SEXY!! :P

sorry zhicheng and chongyee... i didnt mean to delete ur comments... well, i just felt that wad i wrote yesterday isnt all true... as in.. i dun think i realli feel so... so well ya... i'm quite fickle minded now ... or should i say confused? hm... anyway, it's gd tt i'm taking As this year...coz i can concentrate on it.. ut my head into the books..and i'll be free from all the worries i have....
hm... i miss sushi! SAKAE, WHERE ARE U?!!!!

o crap! i'm sick again! wth... i think i was sick like a mth ago too... weak weak! must be the lack of exercise! i better start to do more! tml hopefulyl i wont be too sick..den may be cab go for a light jog since i'm having flu... bought runing pants today.. so cheap.. haha.. but my legs look so fat.. nono.. not "look".. they are.... but nvm..it'll be my motivation to continue jogging and doing sit ups so tt can get a nice stomach and legs and will be able to flaunt them after As in sentosa beach :P i'm so envious of all those beach babes.... crap... all got good figure... argh.... can someone help me get rid of my fats?!!! lolz... o well.... let's just try to cure my irritating flu for now....
hm... i just talked to meisiang just now... she asked me to buy coupons from her... for hcjc's funfair... hehe... yeah... can go ka jiao her again... and yes.. jieli asked me to be his spare tyre.. just in case, his "dream gal"cant make it... :P see i'm such a gd fren heh? but i dun wan to be a lite bulb...so asking cheryl to go... i hope the funfair is good... coz hcjc are kinda known for nerds huh? as in there r gals and guys who r not bad looking.. but there are also a lot of nerds.. muahaha... i hope to see some softballers... smile at those whom i like and diao those tt irritate me to the core until my eyes almost pop out! :P muahahaha... may be tt coach will be there..i hope... den i can stare at him and give him the "cao bin" all i wan! irriating arrogant b****** ..... :P sigh tml got tuition again.. hm... i shall break the good news to suan jin... actually got a B without mugging as hard as i could have...
anyway.. it sux knowing tt i've lost my drive to study... reading the notes or just merely seeing alpahbets on paper make me feel dizzy, feel tired... feel like sleeping... o crap.. wad's happening? better find it back now... i need to start studying soon...

a day of slacking again...
 
I feel so guilty... havent gone to school for like almost 2 days... haha... and dunno wad's going on in school... and when i'm  at home, i'm online most of the time.. writing to u, my dear blog... looking for new and interesting websites to visit.. o man... i got no mood to study at all... i cant keep my eyes on the notes or books without my eyes getting tired and closing slowly eventually after a while... tutorials? too lazy to do... o no.. this is bad... my life lacks of sth... sth to make me happy and cheerful all the time... so that i'll be in the mood for almost everything.. including mugging! haha... perhaps i need sth new in life.. like a new hobby or a new goal? hm.. becoming like a lot of my frens around me... minor depression? or i dunno wad.. just lost tt "push" to study harder.... ok... time for dinner! steam boat! yummy! buai.... 

haiz sianz...i was all prepared for my teeth extraction.. the dentists and doctor are all so blur... just came back from the dental visit... the doctor say my anchor teeth has some problem.. need to go for dunno wad treatment.. alamak... and the appointment for the treatment is like almost amth later.. 3 days before my bdae.. wad crap... den i got to wait for like 3 to 6 mths before my teeth can be extracted and start having my braces on... and u noe wad? the extraction is not done at one go... he says he's gonna extract 2 on the right and put on braces for the back teeth first den do the same for the left... omg!!! i'm getting "immune" to the fear of dental visits... i can stare at the dentist when he's opearing on my teeth now.. haha... i hope all these trouble is worth it..
and the other thing... i'm feel realli guilty for spending so much of my parents' money... gotta realli thank my mum... even though we are very different in certain perspective of life, proabbaly due to generation gap, i could feel her love for me from all that she has done for me... thanx ma... and yes, i will take care of u when u r old... hehe...
o ya.. we had a little chat during lunch... she said she told my dad i could be a gd policewoman in future... muahaha.. tt's very suprising... i've never tot of that before... me? a policewoman? well, i agree with her tt i'm probably suitable for the job because i can be very fierce and a naturally active person... haha... actually it's pretty cool eh? my ambition was to be a vet... but it seems a bit too difficult to achieve it now.. coz singapore has no such courses and going overseas will mean tt i have to spend a lot of my parents'money again... may be it'll be a gd idea like wad my mum say... study hard and get a scholarship... from police? haha... let's visualise me in the navy blue uniform... wa... sounds cool leh... haha... but i wont wan to be some patrol police... wondering around int the car, only to settle minor household problems.. so sianz... how bout CID? haha.. cool seah.. but working hours will be so "off"! i am a family person.. wan to be a gd mum, be very close to my kids and hubby and take gd care of them in future... but tt doesnt mean i wan to be a housewife! NO WAY!

The LEO  July 23 - Aug. 22

Generous, Warmhearted, Creative, Enthusiastic, Broad-Minded, Expansive, Faithful and Loving

Pompous, Patronizing, Bossy, Interfering, Dogmatic and Intolerant

Leo's charisma and innate ability to lead guarantee they will almost always be at center stage--a place where they love to be. Leos are so full of warmth and optimism it is impossible to not find their company pleasurable. Fearless, powerful and dignified by nature, Leos make great leaders. The force of their will guarantees any task they tackle will be completed. While they may seem domineering, even despotic at times, their goal is always to ensure the well being of all those in their kingdom. Ever-confident Leos are also creative, idealistic and have an indefatigable lust for life. When leadership is required, a Leo is what is needed. They will get the job done right and on time. Leos also have a talent for bringing the very best out in those around them. Warm-hearted Leos love to have fun, and will go out of their way to make sure those around them are having fun too! Leos love games of all kinds. They are risk takers and will plunge into new ventures on impulse, confident their talents will ensure success. Strong and honorable, optimistic and fun, few will find the Leo's charms easy to resist.

The Leo In Love:When in love, Leo's love of fun is only outdone by the romantic in them. They are faithful lovers with a passion that may seem too hot to handle! Leos may not always be willing to try new things which did not spring from their own fantasies, but a clever lover may slowly introduce new methods of expressing love to their relationship. Once the Leo realizes they are fun they will be won over.Leos sometimes cling to bad relationships because their egos will not allow them to admit they may have made a mistake. Also, being forever optimistic, it is impossible for a Leo to see any problem as insurmountable.Overall, the Leo will prove to be a wonderful mate. Their love of children makes them a natural parent. They are generous, warm and truly want the best for everyone. Their loyalty and sense of honor makes it unlikely they will be indiscrete.

Famous Leos Include:Mae West, Napoleon Bonaparte, Andy Warhol, Simon Bolivar, George Bernard Shaw, Maxfield Parish, Omar Khayyam, Peggy Fleming, Carl G. Jung, Stanley Kubrick, Mick Jagger, Jackie Onaissis, Charles Schwab, and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Ideal Jobs Include:Leos are well-suited to be managers, architects, inventors, teachers, athletes and presidents.

Lucky Numbers:5, 14, 13, 32, 41, 50

Planet: The Sun

Star Stone: Ruby

Element: Fire

Most Compatible With: Sagittarius or Aries

Leo by Heather07/16/2004
Release self-defeating beliefs about your ability to accomplish goals and nurture your heart’s true desires. You must choose this positive outlook and share it with others. If you feel fatigued, understand that there is a tremendous force operating in the unseen in your life that’s pushing things to the surface for you so that you can shed what is no longer needed and move into the future lighter and more free. You have to feel and accept these changes from within, however, before they can come into form.

Leo by Heather07/15/2004
As you get in touch with your feelings around how your proceeding with your new work goals, refuse to buy into any fear or doubt related to your progress. You’re doing a wonderful job and your energy will be better spent affirming that than looking things over with a critical and fearful eye. Nurture yourself and seek to dismantle the internal voices that keep you operating in fear. There’s no place for that where you’re headed.

why must things get so complicated? i'm a simple gal... just wan to live in a simple world... fairy god mother, pls helps me find my answers before giving me anymore suprises... i rather stay in the dark before i find the lite which will stay bright forever and allow me to see the path in front clearly so that i can choose the rite one.... this is taxing... i hate to hurt another person... the phobia, the wound in my heart has not healed. i dun wan to pass this to anyone else.... show me to my answers before u create any mroe challenges for me...

o crap..sucky day.... one of my filing from my teeth drop out.... it feels disgusting...i was eating pokky u noe? is pokky tt hard? alamak..i faint... made an appointment with the dentist tml..must go dental centre again...get it done, especially before i extract my 4 precious teeth to prepare for braces... ya which remind me, counting down to 2 more days before they will be taken away... ahh!!! so sad.... hm... means tml and fri dun need to go to sch liao... haha shiok... i hope i dun miss too much stuff.. no...or may be i should go for first two lessons as long as it's not GP...haha...

Ahh.... wad am i gonna do?! he jus confronted to me before dinner! I'm lost... i knew it was coming.. have been suspecting that sth different is happening... o no... actually i should count myself lucky huh? but... i dunno.. just unsure of my feelings... and it's sort of like the first time such a thing fall on me u noe... dunno how to handle it... gosh... o man... wth.... now i'm kinda like confused.... perhaps i should give myself mreo time to think about this... like wad the cleo magazine said.... if i noe myself better, things would be much easier...

hihi blog.. managed to find a little time for u today... gosh i've been sleeping realli late these few days... wonder y... pimples are starting to grow... as in realli a lot...sux..spoil my face.. wanted to take pic before i extract my 4 teeth on fri... bo gey!!!! ahhh!!! i dun feel like going to sch next week man... wth..so ugly!!!
i just read efei's blog... he dreamt about j... somehow i felt a tiny bit of jealousy... crap.. why do i feel so? tot i got over it...
read Cleo today... pris's... i always believed in horoscopes.. it said sth like i shouldnt jump into any relationships now until 10th of aug.... becoz i'm a little obsessed with such stuff now.. obsessed? wad do u means obsessed? but somehow it's true..as in..i dun feel tt i'm ready for a new one now... i'm not suer of my feelings..not sure of eveything in my life now...so much stress from so many thing.. sch.... future education..bla bla...

hihi blog..wanted to write yesterday but didnt have the time.. i was so sleepy... *yawnz... well.. anyway, got back all my papers... chem is gd..kao..better than my physics..wad is this... haha..but it's gd.. means suanjin's tuition session is proven to be effective! hehe.... but still jealous of tt eugene la...piangz..study a week of two get 2As and 1 B..smart ass.... i also want to be one!!!
hm..o ya.. i remembered wad i wanted to write yesterday... i saw Kenny on Sat, the charity busking day in Plaza Sing... felt awkward coz we used to be realli close... and he was with this senior... erm..quite a well-known ex SC...no idea wad's her name... hm.. he have great dress sense..liked his shirt... but erm...somehow..i dunno... just felt weird on the whole.... not as in becoz i havent got over everything..it was so so long ago... haha.. never expected to see him there i guess...
anyway.... recently, fairy god mother have brighten up my life again... not sure if wad's happening yet..coz all seems too abrupt... like jus with a twirl of her magic wand... may be becoz it was so sudden.. i still dunno how to handle the situation... i dunno wad to do... haha..we'll see wad happens next....

o man... today was a super tiring day... haha..went to support VJ's first charity busking! watched quite a few performances... quite sad..coz it was drizzling... so i guess we weren't able to raise as much money as we could have... i like rouge's dance.. haha... so cool..i wished tt i could dance as well too.. like honey... u noe? the main character in the movie HONEY? she's like so pro! she's HOT!!! haha... she can come up with dance moves so easily..from watching pple playing bball and kids skipping.. wa pro! haha...so envious...
ok anyway, poor dao had to accompany window shopping... he said he has never walked so much continuously before..muahaha..eh..gd excercise leh.... tt's y gals have nice butts... :P yup... o ya...n i think i u put dao in orchard, he'll get lost... thank god..i can still make out my way... muahaha... relaised tt i'm much more familiar with orchard now... so sad...i didnt get to buy anything..no clothes..no bags.. no money!! tt's y... clothes r ex.... things which i like r at least $30.. haha..expensive taste... not as bad as Bernard... after hearing wad cheryl said...

o crap... i was looking thru university of washington's reply to my query on overseas study... it's super ex..my god... and wad must have gre... got interview... and they onli take in 100?! my god... wad's gre? sat? yuck yuck... den must write some stupid essay.... may be i should just stay in sg n just get a prof degree... den i can still see my frens and family..feel safe and secure in sg... the most stay in the hostel..still can come back like every weekend...meet my family, have a nice dinner...bla bla...

hi yo... man got back physics today... wow mcq was gd... only got 2 wrong out of 20! but then... i totally screwed up sect C which is the essyas... i failed!!! my gosh! how can i fail essay.. and those qn on forces?! i cant do a single bit at all! so screwed! i ebtter mug more on tt.... tyco..still can get a half B.. half becoz if i round up it'll be a B... hehe... quite sad leh..used to get a A..or a high B...kao... and tt eugene...so smart! wth... say never study den get 2 As already... i'm so jealous...
o ya... tml there's charity busking... i shall go meet dao n may be some otehr frens.. go support ms rajan... take lots of pics..before next fri... when 4 of my teeth will be extracted.. AGAIN!!!! n i'll be bo gey for like a week! ah..so ugly!! tt's the price i ahve to pay to have nice teeth and look prettier...:P
wa.. my english is quite poor..as compared to soem of my frens... so terrible for a jc gal... look at my blog..do u see chim words at all? i just read my junior's.. especially candice... realli nice.. coz she expressed her feelings very well.. ya..with all tt chim words... bleah...so sianz... how to do well for my GP?
anyway, tt day i just looked thru some websites of uni which offers vetinary courses...dunno if u call them tt... anyway...it's not very helpful..i noe nuts about studying in US... i dunno anything about the schools to... which is good? which one can i get in with my grades? if not ai ya.. just stay in sg n mug like a typical local uni student... anyone noes? help me leh....

i'm becoming a blogaholic... haha... seems like i have interesting things to say everyday...gotta come online and write sth in my blog everyday... well, got back 80% marked chem paper today.... hm..not bad actually.. quite surprised that i already got a C without counting the 2 essays that mrs yik havent marked... but of coz one of the essays is a goner..couldnt do it... i'll porbably get like max 2 or 3 marks for a few scribbles here and there for that question... haha... not bad... means my chem got hope... and my tuition sessions with suan jin has proven to be effective... i shall work harder for chem den... now onli worrying about physics...think we're getting it back tml.. my gosh... i realli like anyhoe crap thru the paper.. i got so many qns tt i couldnt do... i just anyhow find a way to work it out... hopefully i'm tyco enuff to get them rite... at least some... if not my best sub's gonna be my worst... hehe...
o ya... yesterday if it's not for wad dao told me when we chated on the fone last nite, i wouldnt have gone to frenster.. wouldnt have see those pics... it's so sad... i'm a terrible gal... i've hurt him so much...so much tt he wanted to hurt himself, to even end his life.... may be i shouldnt have started anything... i've decided...perhaps i'm better off alone... despite all tt longing to be loved and pampered and to love another... i'll probably hurt someone again if i get into another relationship... or get myself hurt... nah..sick of it... i doubt anyone will be able to change my mind now... no one can.... may be in future, when i meet tt special someone ba.... wad i saw realli hurt me a lot... why is he so silly? issit worth doing that for someone who no longer loves u the way u wanted her to? even if u did, why put it up in frenster? wan attention? wan pity? i dun wanna noe... dun wanna guess... yes, i cried... i cant help it... cried last nite... told pple off.... told pple to give up... it hurts...even though i no longer like u... it makes me feel so guilty... i realli ssint mean to hurt u tt way... yes, i admit i was selfish..but i do believe we're better off this way... chang tong bu ru duan tong....

From shili's bulletin in frenster...
Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible
because u think that he/she doesn't miss u?

Missing someone is terrible but at the same
time...a sweet feeling. (???)

U will be sitting around wondering if u meant
anything to him/her.

Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.

Hoping that the person who calls on the phone
is him/her.

Looking out of the window hoping that he/she
will surprise u by appearing downstairs.

Sitting in front of the television but thinking
of him/her, missing the final episode of your
favourite show.

Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u
were out together.

Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the
stars again, talking about everything, your
dreams, plans, future.

romantic...

Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her
online. When u realise that he/she isn't online
and did not return your mail, U will start
worrying if he/she is okay.

Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess.

It exposes u to loneliness.

It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and
let u know that there is actually a feeling
known as emptiness.....

Sometimes it feels good to miss someone.

U know that u really care and u indulge in the
feeling of loving and caring for him/her.

But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is
feeling the same is terrible.

U feel as if u are being left alone.

So if u miss someone, tell him/her and let them
know.

At the same time, ask if they miss u.

Don't let the feeling of missing someone become
jealousy or paranoia.

If u are the one being missed and u know it, let
the other party know.

If u miss him/her too, tell them. Don't let them
wait.

And if the one you are missing can't/doesn't
reciprocate, MOVE ON!!

Life is short, so instead of being hurt &
waiting around-Move on!!

Believe in yourself & life, there's someone out
there waiting to miss U too!


*************************************************
*************************************************
*********
Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry, their passions a
quotation.

Night

Night comes drifting down
the colors close their eyes together
fireflies with their poignant
codes of light
signal one another

the lovelorn world of frogs and bugs
makes its cacophony
pairs of yellow windows gleam
and tame the darkness

fruitful branches twine
together comfortably
rustling unseen

reminding me
my arms are empty
and without you
night is only black.

Missing You
By Danielle White

I know we hadn't talked,
but that didn't mean you
weren't on my mind.
Everyday that had
passed since our arguement
I thought about you all the time.
What new friends you had made,
and I wondered if
you thought of me,
and even though I can't
tell you, know forever
my friend you'll be.
They say each day is not
promised to you,
and I really understand why
'cause never once did it cross
my mind that
you'd be the one to die.
I can't cry forever,
but I don't know
what else to do, but
from this day on
until I go
I'll be missing you.

hi yo..i'm in sch lib comp lab again... sch is getting boring.. it's like vjc is just beside east coast.... how i wish we can conduct our lessons there... dunno y.. i miss all tt fun i had in pattaya.... wan to go to the beach..feel the sea breeze... and parachute sailing without holding onto anything..man just feel like flying.... time felw these two years... i hope it flies faster... let me do well for my As.. den i can go overseas! have vacations! have lots of fun! just wanna stop studying! argh... i dunno y.. i feel like toruing the world..may be i should consider going into tourism... haha....

hi bloggie.... hm... it's first day of school after block tests... still not into school mood yet... but it wasnt as bad as i tot... it was our first time stepping in into the totally air conditioned hall... felt great..but a little too cold.. chunchen insisted that we've got too many air cons.... too much for a small hall like VJ's... but i guess it's more comfotable to take our prelims in a stuffy and hot hall...or one with fans blowing off all out papers... haha... kinda silly...
anyway... i found out my maths results today.... was quite surprised and of coz happy that i did pretty well.. a A... haha even though i tot i didnt study hard enuff... but it's true u noe.. i kinda slack a lot for this june holidays... hehe... o ya.. and mcq isnt tt bad... 22 out of 30... i just hope the rest of it isnt tt bad... i still remember tt i couldnt do one of the 4 essays! my god.. tt's 10 marks!! o not forgetting nmr..6 marks! theer goes my A.. but if i do expect an A, it'll be too much... hoping for a C? tt would mean tt i have improved.. and my chem tution is proven to be pretty effective? haha... ok tt's all for today...

o man... the tot of returning to sch tml sux to the power of sux.. i havent had enuff of fun.. ya..i noe.. as usual... who would get enuff of these rite? i still didnt manage to go for a vacation... granny asking me to go for a cruise.. still considering.... it's not exactly a vacation... but it's still away from sinagpore.. away from all my books rite? hm... and it's at the end of the forth week and i have physics common test in the fifth week... do u think i should go? hey pals, if u r reading this, pls give me some suggestions...
anyway, met liang ming today... watched windstruck again... haha..so nice... and yes.. i cried again... keke.... didnt regret at all... haha.. having this silly tot... i'm envious of the couple in the movie... even though they r separated into diff worlds... but they're so in love.... i miss the feeling of getting pampered and loved by someone... think i should get someone now? i noe i can..coz i suspect tt somone likes me... :P well, the problem is... a levels is coming...and i noe i should be concentrating on my studies... but i need sth..or someone to balance me... coz when i mug... i got no life... i get depressed and stressed up easily... i had cried before... coz i was too stressed... remembered that i didnt have anyone then too... perhaps i onli need someone to hug me and lend me his shoulder and arms to cry on... hm.. till now, i havent got used to this system... or may be i cant... becoz i'm more of a playful person... some of my classmates say i mug a lot.. some call me a mugger... but who noes? i've been forcing myself to do all the work.. forcing myself to like to study...so tt it doesnt feel so bad doing it... u gotta like wad u're doing, in order to do it well, dun u? well, tt's probably y i dun complain much having softball trainings almost everyday in the week during tournament period... coz i simply love softball...
my life has been pretty dull after efei confessed that he doesnt like me like the way he did before... have met a few online frens.. not tt i'm desperate to look for a bf... i just wanted to look for sth diff, sth new, sth tt i can look forward to.... or may be someone just to spend my boring few days of holidays... u might be wondering... wad about my classmates? wad about my pri sch or sec sch classmates?
my present classmates? i'm ok with them... but i'm not in their clique... onli pretty closer to chunchen... my lecture and tutorial partner... but i noe she prefers to go out with her anderson frens.. tried to get closer to her... but there seems to be a line between us.. perhaps i was too busy..with my ex then... erm...the guys... well, i've play a lot of pool with them.. but guys r guys... dun wan rumours to spark off... dunno wad the gals will think... well, i'm not bothered by it.. but u noe... must liang li er wei... old classmates.. onli emailed and chat with a few in the holidays... met meisiang.. it's quite sad... coz we used to be close.. now tt we've gone our separated ways, in diff sch..some staying moved further away.. some have bfs... we can never get as close as before... no more five musketteers... none of them celebrates my birthday with me anymore... onli sweet little msgs if they do remember... well, i do appreciate them... bu ya.. we're still not as close as before... i realised tt the test results was pretty true... i havent had realli close true frens who will stick by me... not the kind who will be there for u no matter wad happen... there were few who were close... perhaps my onli long term true fren is onli xinglong.... he's a great pal..ya. but he has his own life... so do i... i treaure our frenship a lot... and i realli mean A LOT.. he's the one whom i can look for whenever i'm down, when i'm bored in the chalet...
anyway, tt's probably y i'm very close to my bf when i have one.. he becomes more than a bf... more than someone i love... he's also a fren... my best fren...

hi blog... just came back from marina bay not long ago.. met up some of my team mates...haha u noe wad..it was so stupid... i wad sleeping in the afternoon... den totally forgot about today's gathering..until mu mum woke me up and aksed me wad time 'm meeting my frens.. and it was like 6 plus already! muahaha... so i change and rushed out of the house in 5MIN!!!! wa tt's super fast seah.... muahaha... yup.... and it took me quite a while to find the place where they were eating... quite ulu..no wonder the restaurant need shuttle bus service... mauaha..but it was not bad ba... i didnt realli eat much..coz i just had steam boat the previous day... o ya... cheryl gt approached by this malay guy... muahaha so funny....
hm... tml... liang ming wans to meet me leh... he's acting pretty strangely.... wonder if wad he realli mean wad he said... haiz... i shant be too bothered by tt.. just let nature take its course....

hm... dao just me 2 songs from windstruck.... hm... quite nice... reminded me of the movie... man... it's soooo nice..... i'm gonna watch it again... keke :P ya toking about the movie... i had this pretty deep tot... u noe.. in the show, the guy died... den the gal did all she can to end her life...but again and again she failed... in the end she found the will to continue living... noe wad...i think if it's me, i would do the same... i dun think i would be able to live without someone i love so dearly... it's a selfish tot... but i would wish to die before my dear die.... i dun think i'll be able to carry on with my life like tt... but then, if like the gal in the story, after so many tires, still cannot commit suicide succesfully, i wont be so silly and keep trying... it just shows that my dear is there for me and wans me to stay strong and not die...

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Beauty
In a survival situation, you:	Fight, but reluctantly
Your hidden talent is:	Spiritual wisdom
Your gift is:	Fearlessness
In groups, you:	Blend in
Your best quality is:	Your indomitable will
Your weakness is:	Your lack of sensitivity
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

i played pool!!!!

yippee.... i played pool in the afternoon! haha.. quite sucky.. but i had quite a few nice shots tt raised my fren's eyebrows..keke... quite tyco sometimes... man..i lost my concentartion after an hour of playing... got pretty tired... screwed up the later games... i wanna go on a vacation!!!! hai ya..cannot go now..no time.. sch's gonna start.. have to mug for prelims real soon... i wanna PLAY!!!!

If i were a movie, i would be a Dramatic Tearjerker (from tickle.com)
My Results:
Pass the tissues. Like any good tearjerker, you're a sensitive soul who strikes an emotional cord with people. A perceptive person, you're cut from the same fabric as those more serious characters who endure heartbreak, rise above the odds, and follow their hearts — even if you haven't experienced tough times firsthand.

While you may enjoy having time to yourself, you're always there for the people you love. If someone calls you moody, they probably aren't seeing the same obstacles that you are. And that's what makes you such a caring and understanding individual. So keep looking out for the everyman and more importantly, for yourself. You're bound to make a world of difference!

I love windstruck!

I love windstruck!

my god! why the hell did they rate Windstruck with onli two stars?! it's freaking good... i will love to watch it again! it's so romantic! so touching..haha.... many of the gals were crying... well, i couldnt hold it too... cant help it.... teared a little...
o ya.. who did i watch it with? Dao..for the first time.. haha... first classmate i watch a movie alone with.... hm... it's damn funny... we tried to meet up to watch it in marina... he reached in time.. but he was so blur! he couldnt find his way to marina! haha... so funny... end up, even though i reach tt place later, i reach marina earlier than him... haha.. but cant blame him too.. coz marina square is renovating... i almost got lost too! yup... well, by the time we reach gv marina, we're like 20 min late for the show already..so we got no choice but to try our luck at lido... on the way to lido, i was appraoched by this gal... from some xxx agency... xxx becoz she was speaking so fast and it was too noisy to realli listen to wad she was saying... but i got the message more or less... she was looking for some new faces for her agency... wth... think i will believe that? later make me take nude pics!!! hahaha...sorrie not tt type of gals!
anyway, we were realli lucky... when we reached lido, windstruck was going to start in half an hour's time... it was realli crowded.. i guess many of the jcs students have just finished their block tests... all celebrating eh? the theatre was almost full...left with a few seats here and there....
gosh tt actor is realli weak compared to the actress.. quite gay..but cute... hehe i would like my guy to have tt kinda soft side too.. hehe.... o ya the gal is super cool! the show is just freaking good... i wanna watch it again!!!! muahaha.... so touching... ok.. enuff of tt... tt's about all for today..
o ya..sob sob.. i got two blisters on my foot.. must be the new sandles... one of them is freaking big! i just burst them and cut off the skin..haha... damn gross! hm.. wonderin... should i go for tk training tml? i so miss softball!