To Be A supErwoMAN

Oh my.. i just looked at my own blog... jus realised how long i havent blogged! haha.. taking a break from mugging chem now... i'm trying to get up my "mugging mountain"... moutain..coz it's gonna be a high peak , higher than Mt Everest when i take my Alevels... haha... hope so...

hm... cleared my GP Prelims yesterday... i wa so scared.. coz i havent been doing well ever since i step into VJC.. i'm not a language person u see... such stuff doesnt come naturally to me... i spent my whole sunday trying to read about sci & tech... well, i guess it's worth it... i may not score well for laguage.. but i'm pretty sure i have lots of examples to support my arguments.. well, provided the arguments are rite of coz... :P It was a tough paper1 like wad ms rajan said..but i guessed it was "difficult" in a good way.. coz i have onli 1 question that i'm very sure i could write on.. haha...didnt spend much time trying to figure out which to write on... coz i dunno how to write for the other 11... not a single bit on them... muahaha... and the compre? oh my... i'm so dead... i didnt even realli understand some of the questions.. cham cham!!

o... just read yufee's blog too.. my god... he's in his 3rd phase for revision?!!! i just started!! *faint
stress man... i just wish to clear prelims with at least a B for 2 of them and a A for probably maths or physics... must mug hard for physics and chem after prelims... they're still not as stable as maths... especially my chem... alamak... like quadratic curve... up and down.. have max and min.... hm.. probably becoz i just started studying, i still feel like i'm lost... not sure if i can finish everything before prelims itself starts...

ya.. den comes stuff tt shouldnt be bothering me now... tt's love... cant help it.. i'm a drama queen, an attention seeker.... cant live without all the attention i need.. and ya.. love... sigh... things get more complex when u grow older... now i understand why my mum wanted me to go to a gal sch and hopefully be free from all the love prob i may get... and may be tt's y... i cant handle this prob now... i've never experienced such a thing before... all my ex or pple who had feelings for me, are not from my sch... they're my outside sch frens.... it's like u dun get to see the person day in day out... some things are simpler that way... and now... i feel like i've lost a good fren... we cant talk like before... he's so cold to me when we chat in msn... or at least i tried... it feels weird when we go out like for lunch in a group... we tok to everyone else in the group except each other... WHY? this sux man... it sux to lose a fren... i hate tt... i should have kept a distance in the first place... to avoid such stuff from happening if i knew it would turn out this way... i would rather keep a life long fren den to lose one this way...

CC told me yesterday about their little chat... Have he ever popped the question? NOT tt i noe of... How do a guy jio a gal? i'm sorry to say this.. but it's a very normal thing for me to go for a movie with a guy fren alone... it can be "no strings attached"... cant' it? Is it realli fair to blame me for not giving u a chance? Is it fair to blame Keith for swaying my heart towards him? How much do u noe about me? about keith? about wad and how much keith has done for me and to win my heart? It's probably becoz it's ur first time... probably becoz u havent gone out with a ger fren alone.... probably becoz u dun understand enough wad a gal needs from her guy and hence how to win her heart... i dun bame u.. but dun blame me for wadever stuff u r disapointed or angry with.. neither should u be blaming Keith... he noes bout u too.. but all he's doing or more like trying to do is to have faith in himself, to do his stuff, do his best to win my heart.. and ya.. i admire tt... and u? sigh... becoz of the way this is going, i'm glad that sch has ended... study break has started... at least we wont see each other so often.. can avoid those weird embarassing moments...

and keith... ya.. he's doing his thing.. getting sweeter day by day... besides all his sweet talking, he's trying to prove himself with actions too... making little scarifices... bla bla... hm.. i like tt... but then again... not onli towards him... ever since i broke up with jimmy... ever since efei wanted to be frens onli after giving me so much hope... i've lost trust in love... plus the upcoming prelims and Alevels, i'm afraid of giving up my heart again, with the risk tt it may be crushed some day... if tt happens, i'll be a goner... i'll lose faith in love again.. lose my self esteem tt took lots of effort and years to build up... lose my confidence... lose my trust for guys out there.. and to worst is to do badly for my A levels... nono.. i wont let tt happen.... sigh... may be i'm better off alone... but... argh...