getting used to the loneliness...

it''s been a long long day for me... time never passed so slowly... it did bcoz i was alone... been pretty independent since like mid of last week.. isolated myself from the rest of the family at nites, trying to mug.. but of coz.. i failed, distracted by several stuff...
about 9 more days to my 1st paper.. sigh... havent done much so far.. onli half way thru more core mods.. just read one topic for mkt.. 10 more to go i guess... tried the sofas of muchie monkeys today.. hmm quite nice.. not a bad place to mug.. could have been more conducive if they have nicer slower songs instead of some rock ones... stayed there from 4 plus to 6.20pm... was so hungry i had wedges... an hour later, i reaslied the chances of wad i've been waiting for will not come.. was handicapped with a dead fone... couldnt call for any subs anyway.. decided to try to enjoy tt loneliness... focused on my work instead of letting tt emptiness overwhelmed me.. n it worked... i managed to finish up the chapter.. cheers~~! perhaps loneliness isnt so bad after all.. i''ve grown up n matured once again... no more as dependent on the pple ard me.. my frens.. my whoever...
perhaps it was obvious tt i was waiting... i found myself looking out the window every few min.. sad tt i am right.. it never came... i sacrificed n gave the space, n find myself drifting away somehow.. it drifted away.. n now it''s my turn... it takes 2 hands to clap.. wad can i say?
not the right time to worry about such stuff... shud i go to sch tml? may be not... no mood for anything right now... feeling weak somehow.. draining me... everything is draining me away... gravity made the precious rain fall from my pretty eyes... i dun realli noe y it happened... perhaps it''s one of my mood swings.. i dunno...
chris just smsed me.. sigh... y does he bother? cant u get it? nth will be the same.. i dumped.. but it doesnt make it much easier to forget everything... u did.. at least u claimed tt u did... well, i''m sorry to say i havent.. i cant forgive n forget after all tt has happened... dun blame me for ignoring u.. i''m not ready.. will i ever be? i dunno... but one thing, i''m sure.. the cruel truth to u, it may be... u dun hold a place in my heart anymore..
let me come to u, loneliness.... i need u....