Engine day... random shoutouts..

it was the last day of 1st half of sem 3 yesterday..
n also ps birthday.. we've been planning to celebrate this special day 2 weeks ago if i am not wrong..
was quite a disappointment honestly..
we were quite indecisive about where to head for the celebration...
decided to go to sakura opp lt7a becoz chess has meeting till 1pm which our star of the day is involved in.. n shanbing has to go back for lecture at 4pm..
was a compromise actually...
well we entertained ourselves in student lounge with air hockey, pool n soccer table while waiting for yimin..
then headed to buy cake for ps..
reached sakura at almost 1pm but they were not done with their meeting yet..
unfortunately, we had our buffet w/o our star's presence...
went back to look for them again to cut the cake.. n guess wad.. they just ended..
well perhaps we shud be understanding.. tt these pple just joined the club and they r at high spirits, have commitments n responsibilities and their supporters to answer to..
though everyone said tt they didnt mind.. i am sure we are all disappointed..
disappointed with the elected leaders.. the way they handled this matter..
are leaders who r more concerned about their personal interest pple we can depend on?
surely sth will be done.. may be chess will be more well known..
but popular or notorious? wud they be able to touch our fellow mates' hearts?
i am doubtful of it.. perhaps it's too early to judge..
i wonder...
if work is more impt than frens on this special day who came to sch, stayed back n plan all these, wud ur fellow mates more impt to u or how great the club is under ur management when u make future decisions for the club?
is this about getting work done, making improvements or is ur key focus on ur fellow course mates?
who's to blame? who's the decision maker? wad is impt? it's so subjective..
i personally felt tt i wasted a day away yesterday...
we see n learn more about one in times like these...
the more i see, the more i learn, the more consoled i am to be out of all these matters..
it is not a comm i want to work in..
n i will be making a lot of noise n creating chaos in the comm if i am one of them now..
haha bless me n the rest... world peace...
my family is more impt..
my frens are more impt..
my studies is more impt..
n i have time for all of them now... i am more convinced tt i'll be happier this way..
cast away the "i cud have done a better job" idea...
becoz i havent done it.. i am not doing it.. i will not be doing it..
it;s easier said than done.. i am sure about tt..
so it isnt fair for me to judge or criticise..
pple involved knows best..

woof~!

took my 2 dogs out for a walk yesterday evening..
think i shud do it more often..
even if i burn like onli 20 calories with the stroll..
hee.. well.. it kinda stops my brain from wondering n thinking about all the work i have on hand..
n the stuff tt my 2 cuties do is realli entertaining..
i just realised how obedient boyboy can be..
when u pull the chain backwards, he will understand tt he's going too fast..
n he'll sit right at the spot, turn his head back n look at u with those innocent eyes..
lol.. so cute.. n he'll wait for u to catch up, before he continues running and repeating the same routine again.. haha..
n manling.. she has always been my fav dog..
smelly her breath may be.. i still like to hug her...
she's 13 years old this year.. tt's 91 doggie years~!!
still bubbly n active as ever...
she understand us human pretty well...
n she can communicate with me..
wahaha.. she gave me the "i wanna pee more but i got no place to do it" look yesterday when i was closing the door... changed the newspaper n she pee-d like how many drops onli...
oops gettign too detailed.. but u noe.. it's so... when she looks at u after she finishes with her business... like she's so satisified.. hahaha..
think things will never be the same again if she leaves us one day...
i think i will cry..
i know tt she;s realli old already.. n i am giving the 2 of them lil treats every now n then..
it's probably the least i could do..
i am sure they enjoy it a lot..
well then again... i think i wont be able to do without a dog if i were to start a family of my own in future... they make me a better person.. :)

empty & tired..

i've probably given too much to the cm test..
now i am kinda burnt out..
dun feel like doing work..
somehow i was attarcted to the challenge..
n i managed to finish webcasting 4h of 2122 lecture.. the one tt we all couldnt understand even if u went for the live one..
i wonder who came out with all those theories..
smart n abstract...
definitely not the norm.. if not we wudnt find it so difficult to understand..
i tried webcasting 2121.. stopped twice coz i am either too tired or too sian..
it's like cn1111 plus phy chem.. n i hate cn1111..
it makes no sense to me..
i watched it at 1.8 speed.. n finally stopped after enduring 1h plus of the webcast..
it's carnot again... wad a turn off..
we've gone thru tt for 2 modules.. physics n phy chem..
now 2121 too? o well it's thermodynamics isnt it?
how can we run away from it?
i think i need sth to motivate myself again.. sth other than books..
boring hence draining..

oh.. yesterday we went to shop...
we walked for the entire day..
but didnt buy anything..
combed bugis village, icon n the edge..
lol.. can u imagine all the walking we did?
poor ks has to carry his heavy bag around with us..
the meals were rather sinful yesterday..
had jap for lunch.. but crystal jade's wanton mee for dinner..
it's my fav~!! so q, so delicious~!
but it's yellow noodle... wonder if i put on another kg back after tt?
guilty~!!
but i havent been at my highest spirits...
food n retail therapy is my way of destressing..
since i got nth to buy... i;ve been allowing myself to eat junks...
m&m, yellow noodles, smoothies..
there goes my slimming programme..
may be tt's y i grow fat when the sem starts...

sigh.. wad shud i do to get my drive back?

drained...

freak... i am so damn tired..
stupid cm test killed me..
i;ve been spending hours n days to study for it..
lost with lectures, havent webcasted for 2122 n 2121..
tutorials to be done n all..
it sucks...
it sucks especially when u make silly careless mistakes..
after all tt studying.. ahhh..
it;s just 1 or 2 marks to ur final result, shirley..
it doesnt matter~!!! get over it~!!

i;ve been so stressed up..
n very impatient with pple ard me..
i;m grateful to have my dearie... hehehe...
i wud have to spend 1h for a bus ride home or 12 bucks for cab ride home after the 5h study in sch yesterday if it wasnt for him..
n my snapping.. ah... i'm sorry...

feels weird when u hear news about sth tt u care..
n... u're not a part of it..
asked n rejected the offer...
guess i have to get used to it..
i dun wan it n i dun care..
all the best...

i saw the cockadoo today again...
too busy to blog about it...
it makes me wonder y i tot so in the past...
weird.. where in the world did the smoke came from?
did i started the fire myself?
simply weird...

hai.. so tired from mugging...
so much to catch up with now..
screwed up..
it makes me think twice sometimes if my effort is justified..
mug so much for a 10% test where u get to sit beside one another, where u can copy n discuss even if u dun realli know ur work..
issit dumb?
i've been trying to console myself..
tellgn myself tt i have studied so much now..
so i wont have to go back for final exams..
think i noe enuff? think it;s close to enuff...
need more practice though..
it better be so...
coz i have worked shit for it..
study smart? any dean;s lister wanna help?

a " DOg bITe dOG" wOrLD...

shhhh... just leave me alone...
i've finished the show... i need no appalause...
just let it die down n be hidden away from pple who dunno..
for the sake of the everyone, for u, for me, for our fren..
let's make life easier for eveyone..

Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings – Samuel Jackson
a leader with no self confidence will not go far..
he will not be able to accomplish much.. as a leader..
he may be capable.. but he's onli just a capable worker..
i'm confident.. some say i am full of myself..
i'm a leo.. it's natural.. it becomes inborn after 4 years of leadership experience..
my frens say tt u can feel it even without working with me..
full of myself i may sound.. ya so wad?

Rank does not confer privilege or give power, It imposes responsibility – Peter Drucker
I chose to run for vp at the belief and confidence I have what it takes to deliver at this level and at the same time I am very much intrigued by the challenging role of handling matters at top level while at the same time opening an ear to the needs at ground level of all non-club students.

tt's wad i was prepared to say.. if someone were to shoot me..
service is unconditional, yes it is..
but we;re onli human.. is there realli nth tt u wan in return?
i wanted the experience.. onli as a vp..
not secretary, not anything else...
any other offer seems meaningless to me now..
especially after wad i;ve gone thru throughout this experience..
the opportunity to see more clearly the hearts of some pple..
the inevitable ugly side of such events..

no chance, no responsibility..
every member in a team has a common responsibility..
a common goal tt is.. a general one..
but each one has specific role to play..
just like games like diablo.. u dun send all ur men to attack one enemy..
it is the reason y there are distinction among the names of these members..
every name comes with a different duty..
small or big they may be the same..
different duties but all for efforts to achieve their ultimate common goal..

a commander who leaves his men in critical moments of war is no leader..
he is but onli someone who takes advantage of ur loyalty..
he is but onli someone someone who claims teamwork for his own benefit..
a fren in need is a fren indeed..
my fren?

wad do i have to say?
dun bother asking....

back to initial plan..

it's been some time since my last post..
it's week 3 already and i havent started my engines..
been busy with a lot of things...
thinking hard and planning...
this week is exceptionally hiong..
mon i had my 1st cm lab.. wasnt told my lab venue, wasnt told if there was prelab, didnt noe wad to do except for bringing lab coats n goggles..
tue which was yesterday, i had chess elections...
sad to say tt i failed to convince the exco tt i am a leader and I am the better choice...
given the opporunities to perform in fwc, i am sure i have done my best for my freshmen...
i am proud to say tt i;ve done my part for them...
n if there are any juniors who need my help, i promise i'll still be there...
glad to see tt ps finally has the courage to step up and run for vp..
though he was competing with me n he has won, i'm realli happy for him..
n also chess... he's capable n i am the one who nominated him..
let's hope the present comm will be a better one...
much much better... coz there are so much tt can be done..
so much said of no use...
i;m glad tt i tried and stuck on to my decision despite seeing wad has happened coming before the election itself...
as my fav quotes goes "i can accept failures, but i cannot accept no trying. ~ micheal jordan"
will be gg back to my intial plans..
i'm grateful for all the support i;ve gotten thru these times..
glad tp see my frens who came down to support me n believe tt i was up to it..
n especially dear... who realli helped me a lot with my speech n mental preparation..
yup... thu got tut presetation.. haha.. my grp mates like my answers..
dunno if i am gg to be the one presenting instead of the grp together..
o wadvere.. lol...
n fri lsm lab.. heard it's not too bad..
hai.. happening week...
may all my experience, good n bad.. be transformed to my strength n motivation tt will carry me thru the rest of my life.. or at least this important semester...

a PEak AT RAG & flAg at PS & a lil reflections..

went down to help dear with exhibiton yesterday..
haha.. didnt seem like they realli need more manpower...
but i did help out quite a bit..
well.. i am glad tt i got to see a bit of rag n flag.
didnt regret gg down to help..
got to see a few dances..
n the almost full kr rag presentation...
they made a freakin cool train out of junk n scrap materials...
it has wings tt couldbe extended... n it flaps~!!!
alright.. i sound like a country pumpkin..
but it's realli cool...
may be i'll still go down to take a look next year.. hahaha..
if u havent watched one, u got no idea wad u r missing out...

who says singaporeans have no creativity....
go down to ps n take a look at wad ur future lawyers, doctors, engineers are made of...
we have sexy doctors who can realli shake their booty...
n lawyers who do cheer leading...
ha...

anyway... sch has started.. but i'm still in holiday mood..
guess i havent played enuff... so ya noe..
actually kinda sick of uni life..
i shud be out of pru already... had enuff fun with organising events...
thinking of doing sth else..
gg back to sports soon..
when my back have recovered n all...
n hopefully i can lose the 6kg tt has been adding onto areas tt i've unwillingly been taking up in the pictures tt i have taken for the past 1 year...ha..

i finally understood wad dear meant by the happiness he felt when he saw the result after making effort to improve himself and grow for our relationship.. coz i did it too.. :)
we dun always have to quarrel do we?
jus need a lil more understanding and communication... :)

missing the team bonding and team spirit, team work i used to have in sec sch n jc...
havent been seeing much of tt in uni..
well there are.. just not as strong n bonded as wad i had before..
issit different becoz mine was a sport?
no crying and laffing together..
no bleeding, no falling together..
no pats on shoulder, no massage...
no selflessness..
if there are, lil i wud say..

do pple get more selfish when the grow up?
afraid of ur partner stealing away ur attention?
afraid ur partner stealing away ur credits?
does this chi phrase "yi shan bu neng chang er hu" (direct translation: 1 mountain cant hide 2 tigers) applys all the time?
boy... i;m amazed by wad i am saying.. my england..lol..
anyway.. ya.. wad makes a gd leader? can there be no true partnership?
common vision is impt for leaders n hence the team..
trust is.. n a true understanding of wad team work is..
it;s such a sad thing tt i dun see it prominent in any parts of nus..

another 2 weeks of holiday?

whee.. i felt gd yesterday.. coz i bright my lil bro to wild wild wet..
short stay there.. with lil rides to try...
but my lil bro is quite happy.. so yup.. i'm happy too...

treat my fmaily to korean bbq with cost me 204 bucks~!!
there goes all my ang bao money.. lol..
but it;s sth new... everyone was so overwhlemed by the variety...
mummy didnt stare at dear... hahahha..
i didnt realli noe wad i ate..but i was very full...

den i went to pat-tor with my dear at esplanade...
hehehehe....

happy-sha la la-

HapPy HapPy BIrthDay~!!

yippee~!!
celebrated with luna last night..
birthday celebrations for the august babies - shanbing & i..
we went cine to ktv for 5.5h..
hahaha sang quite a bit... i am glad tt everyone sang...
n hopefully everyone enjoyed themselves..
hmm before seth left, he played the birthday song with his guitar and sang along with the rest..
wad a plesant surprise.. hehehe :)
den we went to mahanttan for dinner..had cake n all..

hmm... this year's birthday is realli good..
enjoyed myself.. n got to share this happiness with my friends n family..
i find tt i realli mature after every year...
in the recent years, i always had memory flashbacks on this special day..
the times i laff, had fun n got to know so many great friends...
the times i cried... the times i learnt tt it is possible for one to be so upset tt she could not tear anymore..
the times i screwed up, at rock bottom of my life..
the times i became stronger, fought back and saw who my true frens are..
the time i met my dearest.. slc aka sdu camp for leaders..
who saw and help me thru my darkest time of my life and saw me fight back..
who became my best fren..
and now someone who has became me pillar of support and my motivation..
hahaha..
so much has happened last year..

i'm thankful to have so many frens ard me...
yimin for waiting for me at computer centre bus stop for 30min and paying taxi fare for me when i onli had $5 in my wallet~!!
ahh i havent pay her back~!!
ok.. i realise there's too many pple i wanna thank.. heee... thanks to all~!!

i'm thankful tt my mum gave birth to me 20 years ago on this day..
giving me a chance to see this beautiful world..
a chance to see the dark side so i learnt to appreciate the brighter side better..

i;m also thankful to have my family members ard me even when everyone else turn against me..

this year is special..
becoz i am trying to share a lil bit more..
gg to treat my family to traditional korean bbq later... ex lo~!!!
my pocket gg to have a huge hole later...
hahaha.. but it's worth it.. to thank everyone for being there for me for the last 21 years..

frens.. next year ok? 21st bdae~!!! hehehehe...

welcoming the new academic year...

it's my last day at work today.. FINALLY~!!
couldnt wait to get my ass out of the office..
hehehe...
held on onli becoz of my mum..
haiz....
bought curry puff for everyone...
but there were so few data entry staff tt most of them were given to the senior staff ard..
sigh...
i wonder if anyone's jealous..
coz i seem to have some kinda priviledge becoz of my mum...
ms moria, the media manager actually initiated to give me a lunch treat..
n she asked everyone else in the office including all the senior staff ard whom i didnt work with along..
hahaha.. like some big shot in office...
feel weird..
i appreciate it.. but dun realli feel good tt pple r treating me differently becoz my mum is " someone" in the department...

right.. i need to up my caps..
actually tot of quitting everything n just concentrate on my school work..
may be go swim or jog whenever i am free..
just go back to sch n sports kinda lifestyle..
hmm.. been approached to join the forces...
dunno if it's worth it...
it;s nice to be able to do sth, improve the system for ur course mates n all..
n organise events, lead the team n all..
i;ve had my share n i noe it's fun n like it...
but.. i guess we still have to balance a bit..
studies is still one of the most impt thing for a student...
especially for chem engineers...
sigh.. i am quite torn apart... shud i?

time to do some research perhaps...
time to plan my year ahead..
time to set targets for the new year..
it's quite a gd way to mark the end of my 1st year in uni..
hahaha 20 here i come...
to grow to a real woman~!

welcoming the new academic year...

it's my last day at work today.. FINALLY~!!
couldnt wait to get my ass out of the office..
hehehe...
held on onli becoz of my mum..
haiz....
bought curry puff for everyone...
but there were so few data entry staff tt most of them were given to the senior staff ard..
sigh...
i wonder if anyone's jealous..
coz i seem to have some kinda priviledge becoz of my mum...
ms moria, the media manager actually initiated to give me a lunch treat..
n she asked everyone else in the office including all the senior staff ard whom i didnt work with along..
hahaha.. like some big shot in office...
feel weird..
i appreciate it.. but dun realli feel good tt pple r treating me differently becoz my mum is " someone" in the department...

right.. i need to up my caps..
actually tot of quitting everything n just concentrate on my school work..
may be go swim or jog whenever i am free..
just go back to sch n sports kinda lifestyle..
hmm.. been approached to join the forces...
dunno if it's worth it...
it;s nice to be able to do sth, improve the system for ur course mates n all..
n organise events, lead the team n all..
i;ve had my share n i noe it's fun n like it...
but.. i guess we still have to balance a bit..
studies is still one of the most impt thing for a student...
especially for chem engineers...
sigh.. i am quite torn apart... shud i?

time to do some research perhaps...
time to plan my year ahead..
time to set targets for the new year..
it's quite a gd way to mark the end of my 1st year in uni..
hahaha 20 here i come...
to grow to a real woman~!

when her man is busy...

it is likely tt a woman will feel unloved, ditched, unwanted, taken for granted when her man is busy and he cannot give her the attention she needs, the quality time she needs... full attention i mean...

here's some advices from my personal experiences and wad i've read so far:
1. stay strong
2. throw ur neagtive tots n feelings aside
3. try physco urself tt he's busy and stressed up
4. understand tt u r always in his mind n heart
5. he onli needs u to be there for him.. to listen to him complain, to give him the tightest n biggest hug u can give even if u cant wrap ur arms ard him.. :P
6. if u cant do the above very well, start keeping urself busy..
7. be patient n wait for ur man..

he'll be back.. at least tt's wad i experienced.. with even more than u expected.. he;ll appreciate it.. n he'll be sweeter than before... tt's my boy...

lalalalala....

hello.. i am back~!!

back from my lil getaway with dearie... hehehe..
well, we didnt realli do much..
everything else the same..
but i guess we realli have time to slack together since we got a chalet...
dun have to worry so much about time n all..
heheheh..

n i got a lil birthday surprise celebration from dear..
hehehe.. simple yet difficult to plan i guess...
he made sparkles to compensate for the fireworks we didnt get to see on the first day..
so sweet.... haha didnt get to see the words "happy birthday" but it's realli pretty..
realli appreciate it coz he was so busy..
wasnt easy for him to go for this chalet already..

i guess wad we do isnt realli impt..
wad matters is the quality..
quality time is impt...
even lazing ard n not doing anything constructive feels gd... :P

Counting down to the day i turn 20~!!!

11 days to 20!!

pple say tt when u turn 20, time will start to pass by realli fast...
ha.. i wonder...
ever since i stepped in uni..
time have already sped up..
dun have to wait till 20..
or... o gosh.. will it speed up even faster?

coz i have so many things tt i wanna do unaccomplished...
no time for everything..
hai...
i noe wad to wish for this year.. hehehe..

BoYs ArE StUPiD, thROW rOCKs AT tHEM~!!!

this is the picture efei sent me last time when i was down becoz of someone who wasnt worth my tears.. ha.. it's so cute... n so true... my guy frens tell me tt it's very provocative.. well.. so wad? i believe many gals wud agree withi this picture..

i've been relating with a lot of things tt happened in my life to the book i am reading.. n i have identified so many common problems everyone face... it says tt when men are stressed up, when they have problems to solve, they go to their caves.. tt's Martians.. n well of coz when they go to their cave, they are untouchable. they get so focused in solving tt big problem of theirs tt they become oblivious of their surrounding... probably tt's y sometimes women regard them as the most insensitive creatures in the planet.. n the books says tt men n women shud understand their differences so tt they wud not take these "difference in expectations" personally. for example, when a man goes to his cave, he is powerless to give his partner quality attention she deserves. The man tend to forget tt his friends and other pple have their problems too. In this case, the book suggests tt a women shud understand tt his action does not show he loves her any less or she is unimportant to him... ha.. true.. it helps.. but was happens if the gal also have problems n she needs him? is it a good excuse for the man for not being able to be there for his gal? is it a good excuse for the gal for failing to be understanding and supportive instead? who shud be the one making the sacrifice, to throw away his/her problem aside for a while to be there for the partner? how do we know whu's problem is bigger? everyone values it differently.. the book does not say how.. n i wonder wad shud be done..

perhaps we shud all be more independent..
sometimes i wonder...
men claim tt it is very difficult to understand women..
so wad about men? r they any better?
men likes to feel needed.. it is the way to motivate men..
men ask women to feel free to show her weaknesses to him..
if not he feels unworthy of her love..
so women becomes more dependent on men..

n when u r needed, but u have ur own "bigger"problems, u hide in ur cave n leave ur poor gal outside crying n doing lots of nonsense to get ur attention..
she may claim tt u r not giving her enuff attention
she may say things like u dun love her enuff..
she may say tt she can find better guys outside, y is she still sticking with u..
she may pick on everything tt u do...
she'll just do all sorts of nonsense... unreasonable or not...
she probably wudn't make any sense at all..

so u have a good excuse for not being able to be there for her..
helplessly, she decides tt she has to understand wad u r gg thru.. n assumes some reason to console herself.. so wad's the onli way out? i feel it's still best tt women can be independent as far as possible.. in times like these, u r the onli one who can help urself.. u cant expect others to be there for u.. becoz they may also be gg thru some rough time.. may be if u r lucky, some gd fren of urs who's free n cheerful for the day will pop by n pull u up from the quick sand.. moral of the stroy is.. when u feel helpless.. u tried to crawl out of tt shit but u fail.. when u did all sorts of nonsense n call for help but to no avail.. stop struggling.. becoz u will just fall in faster.. just wait... i like to be in control.. but perhaps hk is right... no one can be in total control of their lives... just do wad u can.. when u cant, may be losing control is the way to the problem..

am i making sense? coz it seems like i am just typing wadever tt comes to my mind..
~ but i am onli human... ~ or rather woman...

i wish....

feeling very irritable today..
so here's my 2nd post of the day...
i have a new batch to key in.. but i am so sick of doing this nonsense...
i just keep falling alseep when i see the same stuff over n over again..
i realli dun like this holiday...
my mum said tt i onli tot of having fun.. keep playing all day...
like since when?
for fwc, i was one of the organisers.. when did i realli have time to slacken, relax n play?
i tried.. but the comm was so small.. n pple were starting to get sick of preparing for the activities... once they feel tt they r done with their prog, they start to bug off.. have to plead them to help.. keep calling n calling.. until we all started to get a lil pissed off..
i am happy tt we did a relatively gd job.. n it ended successfully.. but where is the real fun?
the playing kinda fun? when did i ever get tt?
my entire holiday is about studying, planning, working n nth else..
i occasionally find time to spice up my life with dear.. but they r so lil as compared to wad i have done with the bulk of my time... tt's the onli lil fun i had this holiday n it's not enuff...
i am seriously deprived of the fun factor here...
n i am so afriad tt i have not slacked enuff to prepare to mug all the way next sem..

i wish...
to go on a reali holiday.. overseas... away from home.. away from singapore..
to have time to wake up late n hit the pool or go for a jog everyday...
to nua on my bed for the entire day..
tt i dun have to be responsible for anyone else.. it's impossible to allow myself to be so selfish in real life though.. it's just a dream.. n i am just rattling...
to get out of this job immediately...
to have time to experiment some cooking with dear..
i wish tt i can have a happy and fulfiling holiday...

holiday?

it's been more than 2 mths?
i havent realli enjoyed my holidays..
first was special sem..
then i started working in the last 2 weeks of my special sem..
after exams, i was busy with chess fwc..
now tt everything is over, i still cant enjoy it fully..
becoz of this stupid job...
cant blame anyone can i?
my mum helped me to find this job..
so i have to be responsible for her..
i cant quit early or anytime just like everyone else..
even if the employment law allows me to terminate the contract without any reasons with notice, i still cant do it..
ahhhh.. it's such a dread..
n the job is boring... i face the comp and the same survey forms 9.5h a day...
tt's if i have things to do..
if not i rot..
i started to bring the book dear introduced to me to read..
at least sth..
hai.. so irritating....
this pain will onli go off on 11th...
n sch will start on 14th~!!!
3 days~!!! 3 days is not enuff~!! i had 3 months~!!!
no more working next holiday.. tt's it...
AAaaaAAAaAaaaaaarrRrRrRrRgGgGgGgHhHhHhHhH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new trial on colorgenics.. how true...

You feel as if you have missed out on a great deal that life had to offer and you go about trying to make up for past failures. Naturally at times you get depressed and you try to compensate for your 'missed opportunities' by living your life to the full. This is what, perhaps, may be described as 'living with exaggerated intensity'. In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that you are right.In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

The fear that you may not be able to fulfil or realise all of your ambitions makes you work and play hard. The thought of being prevented from achieving the things you want leads you to play your part with frantic fervour.

a Fair WeaTher FreN i AM...

feeling remorseful onli after reading the introduction of "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus". I have identified myself in the introduction story provided by the author of the book. Not going to expose too much about us..
but i have to apologise to my dear for all the pain i have brought to him.. tt's all for now..

The eND of MY 1ST yEAR uNI

fwc has finally ended....

we have all been busy since last year...
working our ass out for our dear juniors..
starting almost from scratch...
meeting so many obstacles n cockups..
finally.. it has ended successfully..

ha... though i didnt get to interact much with the freshies because I was so involved in the programs n helping my frens with their stuff..., but i still enjoyed myself..
iam so glad..
so proud of the fwc organising committee...
we were all busy with our own duties in the different comms..
it felt like we were rather scattered before fwc..
but our bonding showed during fwc..
it;s so easy to get help from everyone...
ah... perhaps it's because this comm are made up of mostly pple who has the passion, who wishes to make this happen... n create great memories for them...
yeah~!!! hip hip hurray~!!!

the end of fwc marks the end of my 1st year in uni..
it has been a great year even though I havent cried as much as I had before ever in my life this year...
I am leaving behind my past and only holding onto the good memories with my friends, family and my dear..
06/07 shall be a great year i promise myself..
dun let anyone hold you back..
dun let yourself down again...
my caps will climb up high~!!