i've decided not to expect so much from him anymore... i realise that i'm a bit silly to do so... he seems to be perfect... everything else is perfect except that we do not value love the same way in life... well, at least that's the kind of impression i get from him so far... the higher hopes u have, the harder u fall when u dun achieve them... may be he's not the one? I have my A's... And i seriously need to concentrate on my studies... since we're not going anywhere rite now, den i wont push it further... becoz if i were to do so, i would need to divert a lot of strength, especially mentally and effort... it seems so to me now... i'll let nature takes its course... i dun wannaa think so much about it anymore.. it makes me sad... when i find that i'm not needed... when i find that i'm not as impt as i think i am in his heart... when i realise that no one can take her place... not unless he lets me to... he's still holding onto it... he just doesnt want to admit it... hoping that it will go away by itself... sorry, but i'm jealous... i've tried.. tried to pull myself up everytime i'm down... u didnt realli do anything.. ironically, tt's the problem... may be it is so... may be i'm looking for trouble myself....
well, he's going to Genting tml if i'm not wrong... for a few days? a few days without his sms... a few days knowing that he's not in singapore... knowing that i cant contact him in any way... it's good for him.. coz he said that he needs to relax and go for a holiday... but i will realli miss him.. a lot.. A LOT N A LOT N A LOT!!!!
Saturday, June 19, 2004
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