i'm stuck in a shit hole

ok damn.. wtf... i just quarreled with him.. he always spoil our conversation... he's always picking on me.. he was telling me about xiaxue n her blog... so ya.. i was listening.. i didnt comment.. since he has so much to say.. n he claims tt i am not interested and tt our conversation is always one sided... hello.. how many of u have experienced tt when u tok to me? my mum even say tt i am not a gd listener becoz i like to comment, criticise and differ... sigh.. it;s so hard to tok to him nowadays.. wad's wrong man? until now, he still dun understand me well.. i was just trying to be considerate here.. i wan to be a good listening ear.. sigh... was i wrong to not interupt him?

n he's forever praising other gals and telling me tt i should be like them.. wth.. i am shirley. i am unique becoz i am me.. love me for who i am. if u dun, if u cant accept me for who i am, den shut up and fuck off~! stop telling me to cut tt stupid dolly hair style.. i dun look cute. i am not the innocent type.. n if u wan me to dress like some ah lian, dye my hair red or blond like those cmi drop outs, forget it man... it's as gd as teaching pigs how to fly... not tt i look down on the sch leavers.. just tt i agree with my mum tt u dun look very decent and u cant find a gd job with striking dyed hair.. i'm ME~! I'm just ME~!

y? i took all ur complaints about how i look. bad pts of things i do for u or buy or make for u.. cant u take my critics? felt bad, felt disappointed when i say tt u look the same whether u gel ur hair or not? wad bout u complaining tt i dun look gd with my centre parting rebonded hair? n u were the one who pestered me to rebond my hair~! u noe.. u dun appreciate me for who i am.. u just keep picking on me... if i am not who u wish for, fo look for someone else n stop asking me to change..

betting is a sin for goodness sake. how mnay times must i repeat it.. y do i keep telling u tt i will break up with u, leave u for gd if u ever bet again? am i tt heartless? does the relationship mean anything to me at all? y can i give it up just like tt? it's simple... isnt it? ask urself... perhaps u cant see the light yet... becoz all u r dreaming of is winning a million dollars bet right? i swear i noe i will cry blood instead of tears if i ever leave u.. i swear my heart will shatter and it will take a long time to heal.. but it's all for ur sake.. ur own good.. y am i so persistent? sigh.. i dunno wad to say...

sometimes u make me doubt myself and the relationship... i lose faith becoz of u.. see.. u;re affecting me again.. this cant go on... especially not when uni start.. i will not let my studies suffer.. so we better get this right once n for all.. i must have been blinded to step into this shit hole.. wad have i gotten myself into?