physically and mentally tired...

flv has finally ended.. had my 5h of sleep finally yesterday...
feels so good.. miss sleeping so much..
but it was interrupted.. every 30min..
wa.. was getting damn irritated coz i was realli very tired..
realli need the rest n...
but then again, i guess i didnt realli mind..
coz dear needed me..
pardon me for my complaints.. hehehe..

sometimes i still think about him...
wonder how's he getting on..
sigh.. pple ard me reminds me of him..
val.. paulene.. zai hao (if i didnt get his name wrong).. and ziyi..
sometimes i wish tt he would just appear in front of me..
sometimes i wish tt we can still talk like before..
at least i would be able to face reality,
find out and learn how to face my ex...
at least i would noe if we can still be frens...

well then again, he doesnt seem to be willing..
so.. it;s just too bad..
it takes two hands to clap, doesnt it?
to mend those wounds...

sigh.. problems never stop coming...
life sucks... feeling so stressed and tired about everything..
i failed cs... pathetic marks..
then again, how much do i deserve for studying for just one day?
partially was flv's fault... learnt a new lesson..
not gg to take tt next year... too close to my mid terms..
n well, i have 7 careless mistakes.. need more practice.. need to be more careful..
ponned so many lectures and tutorials..
got so much to catch up this mid term break..
cannot pon anymore.. or else i'll become like him..
cant let my studies suffer anymore.. i need a 4.2 this sem...

then, i've family problems..
mom is emotionally unstable recently..
she blew up just on fri..
slammed the door, screamed at everyone, including dad..
did all sorts of childish and unrespectful things..
who am i to judge her..
but it was wrong.. isnt it?
over stress? no anger management?
a correct example for ur kids?
thankfully we've all grown up..
at least we noe tt;s wrong n will not repeat tt..
was damn stressed up.. coz my parents were quarreling, mom was crying like shit..
worried for them.. couldnt study at all..
may be i can blame them for flunking cs...
i cried.. freakin stressed up man..

n dear lost...
so sad about it..
had high hopes n fell hard i suppose..
havent been home the whole of last week..
i feel obliged to be home..
to show tt i am not treating my home as a hotel..
missed daph's bdae party.. will be missing wha's too..
i'm sorry.. just cant come out to accompany u n console u..
dun wan to upset my mum or start another fire...

feeling guilty over so many things..
studies is already in a hay-wire state...
no time for myself..
not driven..
not motivated to study at all after getting 3.13 cap last sem becoz of the infection..
who to blame? me? for making the wrong decisions right from the start?
may be i shud just quit sch..
fucked up...

Friendster knows me best:

The Bottom Line
You have an intuitive sense of potential problems, but don't act until you have to.

In Detail
You're fiery, passionate and always game for a new experience -- and that means that keeping secrets can be a bit of a challenge for you. Not the secrets of others, mind you (those are safe forever). It's your own that give you problems, possibly due to the fact that you do so love drama -- okay, and even melodrama. So when you say something that isn't in the Miss Manners book of etiquette, ignore their eyebrows. Or, better yet, wink and move on.