My Japan Trip 4

Day 5 - Mt Fuji

We woke up at 6.30am this morning and headed for Mt Fuji after breakfast by JR line. Our journey there was a little rough since some of us havent had a good slenight sleep and were hence moody. It got a little frustrating when Mom was insisting her way and not listening to the rest. It's been ongoing since day 1..

Upon reaching Hawagouchiko station, we had lunch in one of the nearby restaurants. I had Tempura Udon. It costs about 750 yen which is about S$10.50. Quite expensive for some udon, a prawn and a green pepper. But it is the chepaest meal I had so far in Japan.



Then, we took a retro bus to our hotel. It's quite a neat place and I was realli surprised to find that we would be spending the night in a Japanese style hotel room. This is how it looks like.

tt's my dad.. his fav pic.. wahaha..

It is furnished with tatami and wooden floor, Japanese beds and a little tea table. It was the biggest room we've stayed in Japan so far. O ya, the furniture and all inspired my fmaily to make a short clip of "the ring" in the hotel room in the evening when we didnt have anything to do. Haha.. unfortuntely, I cant put it up here..

It was about 2.30pm by the time we settled down. Since the sky turns dark much ealier in winter and the bus service stops at about 6pm, we decided to go to Doggy Park, one of the top attractions in our list. Unfortunately, Doggy Park is out of the bus route. So we had to take a taxi up to the place. It took us only about 15min but the taxi fare was veyr expensive. The ride costs us 1730 yen which is more than 20 bucks sing. Our day became even more disappointing when we found out that it would be closing in an hour's time. Thank god the kind uncle at the ticket booth only charged us for half the entrance fee. Still, I feel that it wasnt worth our money. There wasnt much to see. It's probably an ideal place for the locals to bring their pet to since there were many play grounds for the dogs. The dog show has ended and the staff were starting to clear up some of the places. Well, we could only tried to make the best of what we have. I was quite happy that we got to the "communication square" before closing to play around with some very friendly dogs. Even mom had a great time.

The model-wannabe in Doggy Park

The dog's enjoying Stessen's great back scratching skills

The most whiny dog around with me


see how guai they are?


may be Mom wont mind me getting another dog :P

my new found 2nd best to Maltese - Schnauzer

I saw many Huskys, St Bernard, Boxton Terrier and other rare breeds that I am not sure of their names. I bet I'll be able to play with many other dogs if we came at the right time. I must visit the place again if I go to Japan again next time.

We settled our dinner in our hotel room. Cooked maggie mee and canned food.. coz it is very expensive to eat around that area and the hotel restaurant was closed.. Poor us..

O ya I forgot to comment about Mt Fuji.. I think it;s a magnificent product of nature. It is certainly magnificent. It almost looked unreal.. Like a printed wall paper placed behind the trees and houses.. And sometimes you'll get to see clouds around the moutain. It seemed like Mt Fuji was floating in the sky. I should take more picture of it tomorrow if I have a chance.



Day 6 - Mt Fuji to Osaka

We took the first bus of the day to another river in the west . The view of Mt Fuji is much better there. I managed to take a couple of close up pics of the mountain. Our schedule was tight since we have to check out of our hotel room by 11pm.

We visited a few attractions along our way. First was a garden and some sort building called the lifestyle building or something like tt. Unfortuntately, it was winter and the garden wasnt at it's best appearance. I'm sure the place will be a lot more beautiful in spring.


Next, it;s my fav spot of the day - The Lava Cave. Yes volcano lava! We were told that the temperature in the cave was 0 degree celsius and there is a natural fridge and storage place deep in the cave. Icicles lined along the walls of the cave as we explore deeper. It was realli dark and my brother almost knocked on the stone ceilings of the cave many times because he was too tall. Ha...


We then explored into a forest where the pathways and surroundings were covered with dried lava.


Lastly, we visted the perfume and herb centres where they grew many strong smelling plants in a glass house and dried plants upside down on the ceiling to retain their natural shape.

Overall, it was a pleasant experience to visit Mt Fuji where we got in touch with many sides of nature. I guess I prefer the beautiful scenery of nature in Japan to the bustling city in Tokyo.

The later half of the day was mpostly spent on trains and railway stations. It was a longjourney back to Osaka. We took Sinkansen, the fmaous bullet train where we had to change twice to local trains before we meet Keiko Aunty again. On the train, there was this Japanese school girl with blond rebonded dolly hair. I thought it was rather inviting for the men around. She was ignorant of her surroundings and was sitting with her legs wide apart. Dun blame me for comparing her to the Japanese pron stars. Coz the way she was sitting with her hand between those open legs of hers, she realli look like a Japanese porn star in action. I am not exactly comfortable with this "culture" in Japan. Young school girls with heavy make up in their uniform. Ridiculously short skirts in the cold winter. What are their parents busy with?

By the time we reached Osaka, it was 9pm. We were very sorry that Keiko Aunty and her husband had to wait an hour for us. Wwe had dinner in one of the subway sushi restaurant but was disappointed with the variety and quality. Well I guess they were closing.. wad can we expect.. Noticing that Dad havent had much, the generous couple took us to a bbq resturant 10min away from their place where he got to try cow's tongue and stomach for the very first time. Ew.... :P

Here's some pic that I have taken in Osaka:

xmas decor in Osaka



in the bbq restauarnt

neighourhood of Aunty Keiko's hosue in Osaka in the morning

My Japan Trip 3

This is becomign a drag.. I didnt realise that I have written so much... well for memories...

Day 4 - Asakusa

Asakusa is an old town of Tokyo which is very popular among the tourists since it is said to be the best place for them to buy souvenirs.

On our way to Chitsan Hotel, we passed by the famous Japanese toy company Bandai building. Statues of the popular cartoon characters lined beside the building. How can we not take photos with the cute statues...



After unloading our luggages, we headed to the famous Sensoji temple. Along our way, we passed by a few shopping streets where anmany souvenirs and local delicacies were sold. Dad was intending to settle his lunch there. Lol... The busy streets were beautifully decorated with man made cherry blossoms. It kinda reminded my of Chinatown in singapore during our Chinese New Year. We were greeted by a huge paper latern in front of the gate of Senjosi temple. The temple was crowded with devotees praying for well being.

at the gate before Senjosi Temple

the beautiful shopping street


Freshly made Japanese rice biscuits~!!!


the biggest lantern I have ever seen

in the park around Senjosi temple

After that, we went to search for the museum that displayed traditional Japanese craftwork like lanterns, wooden decor and shelves. It was quite an interesting place even though we couldnt learn much since everything was in Japanese. Haha.. it was also a great place for us to rest our poor feets after walking so much.

We headed for the famous Asahi beer brewing building after that. It is one of the most unique buildings in Asakusa though the locals here don;t quite like it.I have to agree because the yellow structure on the top of building kinda resemble feaces.. wahaha.. Well it is suppose to resemble a beer mug. Not very nice I guess..


By chance, we came across a Tokyo Cruise Centre where we took a ship ride around the coastal areas and had a chance to see another side of Tokyo. The ride was unbearably slow and boring as it progresses. But dad loved it. He was busy taking pictures of the 13 bridges we went past. Every one of them have a distinct structure and colour. Well my dad's an engineering inspector.. wad can I say.. Here's one of the bridges:

the unique ship that we passed by. It's so much flatter than the ship we're taking

We alighted 3 railway stations away and it was time to explore Tokyo again. The blind leading the blind. With absolutely no clues of where we were, we searched for the closet JR station with the help of local maps on the streets. That's what I call adventure. Ha..

We stopped by 3 stations - Uneno, Akabashi and Okayamishi (I am not sure if I spelled them correctly.. pardon my memory)

Uneno was my favourite place in Tokyo. It was crowded with shopping streets which resembled Bugis street of Singapore. There were also shops selling fish and frozen seafood. I was very much satisified by the Oishi famous local street delicacy that I found there. It's like a pancake with vegetable, egg yolk that oozes out when you bite on it that complements the Japanese sauce and Mayo added on top. Ahhh it was just simply heavely! Well it was kinda late when dad wanted to take a picture of me eating.. wahaha.. it was all gone!

Dad outside a restuarant that sells bbq food

It was a fulfilling and exciting day~! Now it's time for me to rest my feets in the hot bath tub...

My Japan Trip 2

haha.. this holiday has been a very eventful one..
I've been so busy that I dun even have time to blog..
guess i just want to do all the things tt i would not have time to do when sch starts..
alright back to Japan..

Day 2 - Sasayama ~ in Keiko Aunty's house
After breakfast, we went to the farm near Keiko Aunty's house to cut vegetables that she grew for dinner. There were brocolis, carrots and other vegetables. Japanese are very health conscious so most of the time they don't use any pesticides at all.


After that, we headed to somewhere in Kyoto where Crab Feast is a local goumet attraction. The restaurants lined along the beach where the locals cuaght fresh fishes and crabs. It was a very long journey. We slept throughout the road trip and my dad even snored. Hahahaha...

Along the way, we stopped by a famous temples on the top of one of the mountains. It is more of a local attraction since it isnt very accessible for tour buses due to the steep and narrow road up the mountain. Then, Keiko Aunty drove us all the way up the moutain to get a better view of one of the must-see sights of Japan. There is this long streatch of greenery that stretches between 2 area which separates 2 of the lakes beside it. We were told that the scenery will look better if we can try to view it between our legs. Haha... It was quite an awkward position but it realli looked better. Here's a spectacular pic i took:


Later, we headed for lunch! Unfortunately, when we reached one of the restaurants, they didnt sell the crabs that Keiko Aunty wanted to introduce us to. I guess we were too hungry. No one mind having lunch there. It was a pleasant surprise that they serve superb sashimi. It's so much fresher than what we have in Singapore, even better than Sushi Tei's. You could taste the sweetness of the sea.



Mom commented that I could come here with Mark for honeymoon in future.. wahahaha.. The restaurant is part of a resort here on the top of the mountain. I guess the place is quite suitable. There are other amentities like natural hot spa..

Keiko Aunty is one of the few Japaneses around who's exceptionally generous. She was so eager to treat us to the Crab Feast that she drove to a near by seafood market to buy fresh crabs for dinner. Gosh! She bought 2 huge crabs for 200+ Sing dollars each! OMG.. our dinner cost about 500 bucks!!! And we still have to cook! The weather was so cold that the ice packed with the crabs didnt realli melt. We even had time to make 2 stops along our way home.


First, we stopped at a shrine where we took a boat ride and got to see the coastal area of the entire place better. The place was named tian qiao li. Keiko Aunty said that it was named so because of the unique shape of natural ground linking the 2 island. Tian qiao means bridge in chinese and probably written the same way in Japanese.

Next, we stopped by at a western desert shop for some coffee and cake. Keiko Aunty sure lead an expensive lifestyle. We were served banana sponge cakes and either home made egg pudding or vanilla ice creams. The place was great. I managed to take a real nice shot of the local country side scenery.
Then we headed home at about 6pm for our very own crab feast!! It was sweet and fresh! Nothing like the crabs we have in Singapore. Though it was cold, it was certainly delicious.. I would definitely recommend it to my friends if any of them were to go to Japan in future.


Day 3- Tokyo ~ Shinjuku
It was a long long day! After breakfast, we left Sasayama and headed for Shinjuku by train. It took us about 3h by train. It was really a boring and stuffy ride.



I guess the fun part about free and east tour is that you have the luxury of planning where you want to go and when to about it. It was rather challenging initially for us to move around in Japan since eveyrhting was in Japanese. I guess mom was also tired by day 3. We started to "holland". Lol.. I took over part of the nagivator role and also found that it wasn't easy. On the whole, it was quite a good expereince. Shinjuku is probably like Raffles place in Singapore. There are many office buildings and shopping centres.

u can imagine how short the door of our hotel room is

After unloading our luggages in the hotel, we went for dinner and shopped around the area. Mom was obviously very hungry. We were attracted by one of the advertisements of a restaurant that offer a great variety of food like Shabu Shabu that suited Mom and I, Yakitori for Stessen and beef stew for Dad. It was quite a reasonably priced dinner. I thought my dinner was great. My Shabu Shabu pot was kimchi flavoured. It was exactly what I need. I guess it;s quite tough to manage a restaurant in Tokyo. There are so many around. The one that we went was he xiang feng ju jiu wu and it was located at 8th floor of one of teh buildings in the area. It's quite ulu. I think most people wouldnt know that there's a restuarnt there unless they tried or got to know about it by chance like us.


As the sky got darker, more youngsters appeared on the streets. they have a unique fashion sense and many had bizarre hair dos. It seems normal for all youth to be dressed like that. Most womena had make up unlike in Singapore. It's a form of showing courtesy. Even the japanese men trim their eye brows.

We didnt shop in the shopping malls because things are just too expensive in Japan. Instead we roamed around the streets and subway shops where we got to try some local delicacies.

~to be continued~

My Japan Trip1

I think it'll be great if I could somehow record down how I felt throughout the whole trip to Japan with my family so I wrote about it in a book where ever I went. I know that it will be great if I could read this post some time later when I reflect about my good old times. Here's it:

Day 0 - Leaving Singapore from Changi Airport - 15/12/06
Mark came to fetch us to the airport and we had dinner at Crystal Jade before we entered the departure hall. It was quite unfortunate that our schedule was tight and I didnt have time to spend some time alone with him. It was a little difficult to part from him when I had so much that I wanted to say to him. I could not forget the sadness I saw in his eyes when we passed the customs. We couldnt bear to leave one another. I was fighting back my tears as I waved goodbye to him because I knew crying would be contagious.

I could no longer hold them back when the plane took off. I was overwhlemed with mixed emotions. At that very moment, I then realised that it was the start of an exciting holiday and also the start of the 7 days away from my dear.

Day 1 - Arrival at Kansai Airport, Traveling to Sasayama - 16/12/06
We had some trouble reading the railway map since everyhting was in Japanese. The map was also much more complicated that the MRT map we have in Singapore. Fortunately, a kind young man helped us got to the right train. I started comparing the phsical appearances of the locals with Singaporeans. It was expected of the Japanese to have more conscious of their appearance but I didnt expect to discover that most young men trim their eyebros like the ladies. Pardon me for oggling at the pretty babes and hunks in Japan.



It was terribly cold when we arrived at Osaka station. We were underground but could still feel the cold wind blowing in. We took almost another 1h plus before we reached Sasayama, where we were welcomed by Mom's Japanese friend, Keiko Aunty. She is a professor, teaching in the medical school in Osaka City University. A very generous and warm lady indeed. She drove us back to her new house where we met her husband. The old house we visisted 9 years ago was torn down and rebuilt. I fell in love with the new house immediately when saw it. It is largely made of pine wood without the use of any nails that made the construction of the house exceptionally expensive. It has this very traditional Japanese temple kinda feeling to it. The house was partitioned to many sections and we could see many contrasts of traditional customs and new technology applied to the construction of the house. Almost every room have a sensor that will detect movement and operate the lights accordingly. The toilet bowls have many features including automatic smell removal, heater to dry the user's bottom and more. lol.. We were told that some of the walls were partially made of soil which helps to control humidity during seasonal changes.


After settling down at Keiko Aunty's place, we went to climb a mountain where we tried to pick some special leaves for new year decoration. The area where the leaves were grown wasnt part of the climber's path. I felt like da chang jin, crawling and climbing down steep soil to reach the good ones. It was quite scary in the beginning when I slipped a few times. I cant imagine what will happen if we werent careful. Mom had a tough time climbing up. The steps were very steep and high. In contrast, the 94 year old granny who led us to the place was swift up and down the mountain. It almost looked like she had wings on her feet. I guess she probably climbs often. And that is why the elderlys here all look so healthy despite their old age.



At about 2.30pm, we went for the long waited bbq meal!!! It was splendid. The spread we had 9 years ago still lingered in our minds whenever we thought of Japan. Just like before, we were served fresh fish, fatty beef and chicken and some other vegetables. The meat was so juicy and the light sauce complements the taste of the meat. It was nothing like what we have in Singapore or anywhere else in Japan. You can really taste the freshness. I am sure Mark will love it. Hopefully, I will be able to bring him there one of these days.


O ya, I almost forgot about the shrine we visited. I really like the way they decorate it. You can see the Japanese traditions and cultures from it. It isnt all bright and glamorously decorated with gold or jade liek the Chinese temples but it gave me a heart-warming feeling. May be I was a Japanese in my last life. wahaha..

Before we return home for rest, Keiko Aunty drove us around an area where the houses were all decortaed with Christmas lights. It reminded me of the movie I just watched with my friends, Deck the Halls. Though it was just a 5 min ride past the area, I wished Mark was beside me so that we couls share all of these together.

Back at Keiko Aunty's house, we slept on tradtiional Japanese bed on Tatami for the first time. The temperature was about 11 deg. Therfore we needed the heating bed sheet. I had a very good sleep that night. Perhaps it would have been sweeter if dearie was by my side.

~to be continued~

bUSY bUSY hOLiDay....

It has been 9 days through this sweet holiday..
I've been living these 9 days to the fullest..
been painting furniture, doing a lot of xmas shopping, catching up with frens and reminding frens and family tt they're not forgotten and making up for the times when I neglected them during the examination period...

sth hilarious happened a few days ago..
i am not sure if i shud be happy.. lol..
someone called me Mrs Lim when I went out with Mark..
wahaha.. O gosh.. Do I look that old?
Sounds like some auntie...
Or those typical stern old teacher tt u find in primary schools..
haha... I think I prefer to be called Mdm Chia if that day comes..
sounds more zai..
I must train to be Tai Tai Lim.. wahaha...
N my dearie Mark keeps teasing me with it..
u shud see his face... smiling so ever widely...
:P

I'll be leaving for japan in 5 days time..
wont be able to attend Hong bee's 21st birthday party.. so sorry..
early Happy birthday~!

That reminds me that I will be turning 21 in about 8 months time too..
gosh 21... time flies...
many people wish for more money...
I onli ask for more time..
time is probably the most precious thing at this stage of my life right now..
with more time, I will be able to manage the chem engine course better..
with more time, I will be able to spend more time and create more unforgetable memories with all my love ones..
I wish time could stop..
with wisdom and maturity comes complication in life...
I miss the times when I was young and innocent,
the times when all I saw in this world was the swing in my favourite playground...
how great it will be if life can be that simple..

bleah..

FreEEdOM IS so SwEeT & PrECIoUS

when u're in nus chem engine...
EXAMS are finally over..
this sem has been especially tough..
having screwed up the previous 2 sems, I am not expecting much..
just hope tt i did ok..

anyway, i went to have a lil celebration with my frens..
had a quick dinner and watch deck the hall..
it's quite a light hearted movie..
good for no brainers...
yimin's right... we shud watch such movies after exams.. after trying so hard to understand the abstract concepts and attempt the tough papers...

time to plan my schedule for this holiday...
realli just wanna slack...
alright...

Things to do:
1. Wash the toilet tt i skipped last sunday
2. Buy running shoes asap so i can start running
3. burn fats - proper dieting plus exercise regime
4. trip to japan! will be flying off on 15th night and be back by 23rd 2159
5. star cruise with granny?
6. malaysia trip with luna?
7. make jewelry box
8. dear's x mas present?
9. plan x mas celebration
10. experiment cooking
11. finish reading my book
12. make kyonoyaku jelly for dear?
13. tuition lil bro?
14. mahjong with pri sch frens
15. visit coach jo at tkgs
16. x mas givings...

to be continued...

final's is in less than 2 weeks away..
feeling the stress building up..
falling sick..
i almost used up a box of tissue today..
been sneezing all day while i was studying 21..
yeah.. thank goodness the first 3 topics for 21 will not be covered in finals...
nevertheless, i spent my entire day just studying 2 of the 5 topics..
it;s so scary.. feeling insecure coz i still cant too many of the tutorial questions though it was at least my 3rd time looking thru them..
thank god it;s open book.. i still have tut qns to refer to..
wad concepts are there realli?
just gotta learn how to apply the equations i guess..
having mixed feelings about 21 finals..
a part of me hopes tt the paper will be easy.. so tt i'll be able to do it well.. but then again, so will the rest... n i didnt do well for mid term.. so.. dunno if it'll be good or bad..
if it's difficult, yeah.. perhaps i;ll have a better chance to better my grades..
but.. will i be able to do the paper?
this feeling is bad...
may be it's time to take a look at the past year papers to have a feel..
at least it'll be more encouraging if i can do them...
tt's if i can...

just read can's blog..
pleasantly surprised by this video she made for coach..
oh gosh.. i miss tk softball days...
n yah it almost brought me to tears though most of the scenes are not taken from my batch..
i miss coach. i miss cheryl. i miss playing tough. i miss playing rough.
i miss diving for balls. i miss giving my all to the competitions.
at tough times like these, it;s great to recall these beautiful memories..

happy birthday to manling~!!!

It's manling's birthday today~!!!
she's already 13 years old.. tt's 91 human age..
gosh...
right.. i went to garden's pet shop to buy her some presents..
did u noe tt there are chocolates specially made for gods?!
the one i bought has mint too~!!!
so pampered~!!
ohh n i got her some turkey thingy.. wrapped like those european ham...
took some videos of her.. but i dunno if you tube accepts the special file..
hahaha...

SIN: holiday planning

10 things to do this coming holiday:
1. 03s44 gathering
2. japan trip from 15th to 23rd dec
3. ktv with dear
4. holiday project - diy jewellery box & dear's present?
5. shopping for materials for holiday project
6. accompany dear for camera hunt
7. learn cooking
8. learn web skills
9. chalet???
10. sentosa adventure

Life is...

NOT all about mugging..
I've been slogging in my books for coming to 14 years..
throwing almost everything aside during examination periods..
yesterday afternoon, i saw my dear doggie n suddenly realise one of the things i haven been missing out..
my dearest pet dog, manling has been staying with us for almost 13 years..
yes, tt's 91 doggie years..
can u imagine how old she is already?
she was having some problems with closing her jaws..
it looked like she was shivering...
i stopped and tried to have a good look at her...
and was shocked to see how much she has aged...
still bubbly and almost as active as before, i never realised tt she was so old..
probably becoz of her jaw problems, the fur below her mouth were all wet and stained brown with saliva..
her black round eyes were beginning to coat with this extra layer..
which explains her recent occasional bumpings with the legs of the chairs..
her fur were still white but dull...
it saddens me to see her age so much..
the tot tt she might not be living for long struck me..
and i couldnt help but cry and hug her tightly in my arms..
n the reason y i love her so much is becoz she seems to understands us, humans quite well..
she seemed to understand y i was crying..
she started licking my hand when i was hugging her..
n when i looked at her, i saw these consoling eyes looking back at me..
she was also sniffing around my face and almost licked me there..
haha.. eww...
it just makes me feel worse seeing her response..
i decided to take a few videos of her with my camera..
may be i shud make an album of her this holiday..
cant imagine how life wud be without her bumping in n out of the house and waiting under the table for food during dinner..

i am guilty for neglecting my dog for wad i used to believe tt is more impt at my age..
she is more than a pet, she's like a part of my family..
it makes me wonder wad else i have missing out in my life...
have i not been filial to my granny, not giving her enough attention n all?
have i not been playing the eldest daughter role well by helping my lil bro with his studies and also to lighten the load and worries of my parents?
have i....
have i....
have i....?

LOnG loNg NItE..

have u ever felt like u didn't wan the night to ever end?
well, besides at romantic dates with your love one..
were there any occasions when u didnt wan the night to end?

i experience this just a few days ago...
chem engine is such a high demanding course..
time has never past so fast in my life before..
i was lying on my bed, watching some chinese drama when the tot came..
some where in the corner of my mind, i knew that i have lots to do..
n yet.. the lazy me didnt wan to do any work..
it was 12 midnight...
i didnt want to do any work.
i wasnt really enjoying any shows on the tv..
and the silliest tot came across my mind..
i didnt want to sleep becoz i was afraid tt another day will end n pass by just like tt...
with nth much accomplished..
and i wud lose more time to complete all tt i had to do..
i stoned for almost an hour..
n finally realise the unfortunate fact that time will not stop for me..
time will not stop just becoz i stop all work..
it will just pass by as it always did..
whether u make use of it or not..
it was then, i decided to sleep.. n hopefully wake up early the next day to start my "self-torture" again..

this sem is tough in the way tt the modules make u feel unsure of where u stand, unsure of wad u can do to do well..
the fact tt it is difficult to do well makes it much more discouraging..
i;ve been trying to find all ways to spice up my boring, "slaverish"life as a student..
cooked lunch for lil bro n me yesterday..
may be i can upload the pic i took of my creation~!
so much said... it's time to go back to my books..
sigh... how can i do well?

NOt QUitTinG yEt..

yes... chem engine is making me a stronger person..
nothing is going to bring me down..
i;ve screwed up almost every test tt anyone cud..
but tt's not the end of the world...
let's hope tt i wont do too badly this sem..
though i did have high hopes initially...
now.. just hope for the best..
not expecting much...

i;ve been slacking the entire weekend away...
n i havent done much these few days..
becoz of the public holidays, we've had family gatherings, house painting and all..
spent like 1 entire day on each of the 2 22 tutorial that I tried to read and attempt myself..
it;s weird.. all the solution uses moody diagram..
tot in exam, we're supposed to use chen's equation?
how wud we know how to use it if we havent practiced it in tutorials?
*ding consulation needed...

the exams are just around the corner..
getting worried.. so near yet so far..
it'll be here in about 4 weeks time..
it's a good thing tt all except cm is open book...
but there's a whole lot of stuff to study for cm..
n lsm.. i'm just lost.. havent been listening in lectures..
n we're told tt the none of the questions comes from the text book or notes..
so shud i still study?
22 is screwed.. i just gotta try n pull it up and avoid a C+
21 below avg after studying so hard.. blame me.. i'm the idiot who didnt go thru the COE tutorials for mid term test... gotta aim high for finals..
23... seems to be drowning... i;ve been screwing up recent tests...not doing well... sigh.. wad to do?

work hard work hard..
tt's all i need for this sem..

sth funny to lighten up ur day..

SeEInG A LiL lighT Of HoPE

yeah... i broke the egg..
all thanks to the magnaminous ti..
right.. though it doesnt realli help..
sigh...
today we had our cm test 2..
finally it's over~!
it's been taking up so much of my time..
well partly becoz i dun go for lecture.. so i gotta read..
think it works anyway...
felt tt my hard work paid off..
i didnt do well again for this sem's mid term tests..
but i learnt some lessons which i believe will aid in my future somehow..
firstly, i gotta curb my carelessness somehow..
steven gave me some tips.. n i am trying to practise them..
havent shown results yet.. coz my 21 still suffered becoz of carelessness...
secondly, dun let ur results affect ur effort..
dun let ur peers affect u..
dun bother about how the smarties is gg to shift the curve..
just do ur thing. do ur best. give it all u have..
n everything will fall as they are meant to be..
perhaps i am not as smart as my peers...
but i have worked hard.. i've tried.. n tt's all tt's impt..
realli tired of the mugging..
think i need a break before i start my engines again..
so tired...

meaningless life...

havent been freeling good recently..
coming into chem engine seems like a wrong choice to me...
yes it's a challenge...
which was one of the reasons y i chose chem engine..
but is it too much for me to take, i wonder...
i havent been taking up any events..
been trying to study very hard for my exams..
n yet.. i am not doing well..
22 is totally screwed...
21 was realli disappointing... i might not have done fantastically well.. but it shud have been better..
i wonder wad went wrong...
is it becoz of careless mistakes again?
23 is getting more n more depressing...
aspiring to get close to a full mark for every test..
n i am failing myself yet again.. my marks.. r getting lower n lower..
is 8 the best i can do?
thank god we're onli using 7 out of 10 tests...
but i have already used up 2 of my life cards...
n i have 3 more test to go...
somebody tell me... issit just becoz i am not smart enuff?
wad do i need to do to be able to be up there with the rest?

WhY am i stuDyIng?

this week has been horrible...
after mugging hard for almost the entire study break, i cock up for 22 mid term..
n tt has probably sealed my fate with 22....
hey juniors, dun bother mugging..
coz even if u do, u probably wont do much better anyway...
*roll eyes
it's a tikam test... unless u're damn pro.. like some smarties..

21 was not bad.. just tt i didnt have enuff time to finish...
made some conversion mistake i think.. but i kinda got the right number though i used the wrong units.. hahaha.. talking about luck...

basically.. me n mr frens have been aksing ourseleves y we are in chem engine..
y r we giving ourseleves so much stress..
we dun even wanna be chem engineers in future...
so y did i end up here torturing myself?

my onli ambition was to be a vet..
coz i simply LUUURRVVE animals~!
erm.. not all animals actually..
i onli like dogs, hamsters, fluffy rabbit.. wahaha..
no cats, no birds please... :P
anyway... couldnt go overseas becoz it just costs too much...
cant get away with the guilt leaving my family in singapore cutting all costs they can just to send me overseas...
i needed 50k in my bank to be eligible for application ok.. wth...

so.. we had no choice but to stay in singapore...
n my 1st choice was... medicine..
wasnt sure wad else i wud wanna do besides being a vet...
n medicine was probably one of the closest...
n i had a stupud idea of wanting to try my luck n see if i wud be shortlisted...
n yes i was... but after mum told me about her discussion with her medicine prof fren.. n talking to a self-claimed top medicine student, i decided tt it's not sth tt i wud wanna do...
i cant imagine myself working in a hospital...
n dealing with all the gross n bloody wounds n all..

so i ended up in chem engine.. my 2nd choice..
the closest to wad i studied in jc..
tot sth familiar wud not be too bad..
n now.. i realli dun quite like it..
just trying very hard to do wad i can with wad i have now...
i guess the class of the degree doesnt realli matter much to me now..
as long as it's not 3rd class... tt will do..

may be i'll work in the zoo in future...
may be i'll be a teacher?
may be i'll just be a tai tai in future..

one thing i am certain about...
i will still wan to work around dogs n hamsters in future...
one day.. i'll own my own animal farm....

Engine day... random shoutouts..

it was the last day of 1st half of sem 3 yesterday..
n also ps birthday.. we've been planning to celebrate this special day 2 weeks ago if i am not wrong..
was quite a disappointment honestly..
we were quite indecisive about where to head for the celebration...
decided to go to sakura opp lt7a becoz chess has meeting till 1pm which our star of the day is involved in.. n shanbing has to go back for lecture at 4pm..
was a compromise actually...
well we entertained ourselves in student lounge with air hockey, pool n soccer table while waiting for yimin..
then headed to buy cake for ps..
reached sakura at almost 1pm but they were not done with their meeting yet..
unfortunately, we had our buffet w/o our star's presence...
went back to look for them again to cut the cake.. n guess wad.. they just ended..
well perhaps we shud be understanding.. tt these pple just joined the club and they r at high spirits, have commitments n responsibilities and their supporters to answer to..
though everyone said tt they didnt mind.. i am sure we are all disappointed..
disappointed with the elected leaders.. the way they handled this matter..
are leaders who r more concerned about their personal interest pple we can depend on?
surely sth will be done.. may be chess will be more well known..
but popular or notorious? wud they be able to touch our fellow mates' hearts?
i am doubtful of it.. perhaps it's too early to judge..
i wonder...
if work is more impt than frens on this special day who came to sch, stayed back n plan all these, wud ur fellow mates more impt to u or how great the club is under ur management when u make future decisions for the club?
is this about getting work done, making improvements or is ur key focus on ur fellow course mates?
who's to blame? who's the decision maker? wad is impt? it's so subjective..
i personally felt tt i wasted a day away yesterday...
we see n learn more about one in times like these...
the more i see, the more i learn, the more consoled i am to be out of all these matters..
it is not a comm i want to work in..
n i will be making a lot of noise n creating chaos in the comm if i am one of them now..
haha bless me n the rest... world peace...
my family is more impt..
my frens are more impt..
my studies is more impt..
n i have time for all of them now... i am more convinced tt i'll be happier this way..
cast away the "i cud have done a better job" idea...
becoz i havent done it.. i am not doing it.. i will not be doing it..
it;s easier said than done.. i am sure about tt..
so it isnt fair for me to judge or criticise..
pple involved knows best..

woof~!

took my 2 dogs out for a walk yesterday evening..
think i shud do it more often..
even if i burn like onli 20 calories with the stroll..
hee.. well.. it kinda stops my brain from wondering n thinking about all the work i have on hand..
n the stuff tt my 2 cuties do is realli entertaining..
i just realised how obedient boyboy can be..
when u pull the chain backwards, he will understand tt he's going too fast..
n he'll sit right at the spot, turn his head back n look at u with those innocent eyes..
lol.. so cute.. n he'll wait for u to catch up, before he continues running and repeating the same routine again.. haha..
n manling.. she has always been my fav dog..
smelly her breath may be.. i still like to hug her...
she's 13 years old this year.. tt's 91 doggie years~!!
still bubbly n active as ever...
she understand us human pretty well...
n she can communicate with me..
wahaha.. she gave me the "i wanna pee more but i got no place to do it" look yesterday when i was closing the door... changed the newspaper n she pee-d like how many drops onli...
oops gettign too detailed.. but u noe.. it's so... when she looks at u after she finishes with her business... like she's so satisified.. hahaha..
think things will never be the same again if she leaves us one day...
i think i will cry..
i know tt she;s realli old already.. n i am giving the 2 of them lil treats every now n then..
it's probably the least i could do..
i am sure they enjoy it a lot..
well then again... i think i wont be able to do without a dog if i were to start a family of my own in future... they make me a better person.. :)

empty & tired..

i've probably given too much to the cm test..
now i am kinda burnt out..
dun feel like doing work..
somehow i was attarcted to the challenge..
n i managed to finish webcasting 4h of 2122 lecture.. the one tt we all couldnt understand even if u went for the live one..
i wonder who came out with all those theories..
smart n abstract...
definitely not the norm.. if not we wudnt find it so difficult to understand..
i tried webcasting 2121.. stopped twice coz i am either too tired or too sian..
it's like cn1111 plus phy chem.. n i hate cn1111..
it makes no sense to me..
i watched it at 1.8 speed.. n finally stopped after enduring 1h plus of the webcast..
it's carnot again... wad a turn off..
we've gone thru tt for 2 modules.. physics n phy chem..
now 2121 too? o well it's thermodynamics isnt it?
how can we run away from it?
i think i need sth to motivate myself again.. sth other than books..
boring hence draining..

oh.. yesterday we went to shop...
we walked for the entire day..
but didnt buy anything..
combed bugis village, icon n the edge..
lol.. can u imagine all the walking we did?
poor ks has to carry his heavy bag around with us..
the meals were rather sinful yesterday..
had jap for lunch.. but crystal jade's wanton mee for dinner..
it's my fav~!! so q, so delicious~!
but it's yellow noodle... wonder if i put on another kg back after tt?
guilty~!!
but i havent been at my highest spirits...
food n retail therapy is my way of destressing..
since i got nth to buy... i;ve been allowing myself to eat junks...
m&m, yellow noodles, smoothies..
there goes my slimming programme..
may be tt's y i grow fat when the sem starts...

sigh.. wad shud i do to get my drive back?

drained...

freak... i am so damn tired..
stupid cm test killed me..
i;ve been spending hours n days to study for it..
lost with lectures, havent webcasted for 2122 n 2121..
tutorials to be done n all..
it sucks...
it sucks especially when u make silly careless mistakes..
after all tt studying.. ahhh..
it;s just 1 or 2 marks to ur final result, shirley..
it doesnt matter~!!! get over it~!!

i;ve been so stressed up..
n very impatient with pple ard me..
i;m grateful to have my dearie... hehehe...
i wud have to spend 1h for a bus ride home or 12 bucks for cab ride home after the 5h study in sch yesterday if it wasnt for him..
n my snapping.. ah... i'm sorry...

feels weird when u hear news about sth tt u care..
n... u're not a part of it..
asked n rejected the offer...
guess i have to get used to it..
i dun wan it n i dun care..
all the best...

i saw the cockadoo today again...
too busy to blog about it...
it makes me wonder y i tot so in the past...
weird.. where in the world did the smoke came from?
did i started the fire myself?
simply weird...

hai.. so tired from mugging...
so much to catch up with now..
screwed up..
it makes me think twice sometimes if my effort is justified..
mug so much for a 10% test where u get to sit beside one another, where u can copy n discuss even if u dun realli know ur work..
issit dumb?
i've been trying to console myself..
tellgn myself tt i have studied so much now..
so i wont have to go back for final exams..
think i noe enuff? think it;s close to enuff...
need more practice though..
it better be so...
coz i have worked shit for it..
study smart? any dean;s lister wanna help?

a " DOg bITe dOG" wOrLD...

shhhh... just leave me alone...
i've finished the show... i need no appalause...
just let it die down n be hidden away from pple who dunno..
for the sake of the everyone, for u, for me, for our fren..
let's make life easier for eveyone..

Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings – Samuel Jackson
a leader with no self confidence will not go far..
he will not be able to accomplish much.. as a leader..
he may be capable.. but he's onli just a capable worker..
i'm confident.. some say i am full of myself..
i'm a leo.. it's natural.. it becomes inborn after 4 years of leadership experience..
my frens say tt u can feel it even without working with me..
full of myself i may sound.. ya so wad?

Rank does not confer privilege or give power, It imposes responsibility – Peter Drucker
I chose to run for vp at the belief and confidence I have what it takes to deliver at this level and at the same time I am very much intrigued by the challenging role of handling matters at top level while at the same time opening an ear to the needs at ground level of all non-club students.

tt's wad i was prepared to say.. if someone were to shoot me..
service is unconditional, yes it is..
but we;re onli human.. is there realli nth tt u wan in return?
i wanted the experience.. onli as a vp..
not secretary, not anything else...
any other offer seems meaningless to me now..
especially after wad i;ve gone thru throughout this experience..
the opportunity to see more clearly the hearts of some pple..
the inevitable ugly side of such events..

no chance, no responsibility..
every member in a team has a common responsibility..
a common goal tt is.. a general one..
but each one has specific role to play..
just like games like diablo.. u dun send all ur men to attack one enemy..
it is the reason y there are distinction among the names of these members..
every name comes with a different duty..
small or big they may be the same..
different duties but all for efforts to achieve their ultimate common goal..

a commander who leaves his men in critical moments of war is no leader..
he is but onli someone who takes advantage of ur loyalty..
he is but onli someone someone who claims teamwork for his own benefit..
a fren in need is a fren indeed..
my fren?

wad do i have to say?
dun bother asking....

back to initial plan..

it's been some time since my last post..
it's week 3 already and i havent started my engines..
been busy with a lot of things...
thinking hard and planning...
this week is exceptionally hiong..
mon i had my 1st cm lab.. wasnt told my lab venue, wasnt told if there was prelab, didnt noe wad to do except for bringing lab coats n goggles..
tue which was yesterday, i had chess elections...
sad to say tt i failed to convince the exco tt i am a leader and I am the better choice...
given the opporunities to perform in fwc, i am sure i have done my best for my freshmen...
i am proud to say tt i;ve done my part for them...
n if there are any juniors who need my help, i promise i'll still be there...
glad to see tt ps finally has the courage to step up and run for vp..
though he was competing with me n he has won, i'm realli happy for him..
n also chess... he's capable n i am the one who nominated him..
let's hope the present comm will be a better one...
much much better... coz there are so much tt can be done..
so much said of no use...
i;m glad tt i tried and stuck on to my decision despite seeing wad has happened coming before the election itself...
as my fav quotes goes "i can accept failures, but i cannot accept no trying. ~ micheal jordan"
will be gg back to my intial plans..
i'm grateful for all the support i;ve gotten thru these times..
glad tp see my frens who came down to support me n believe tt i was up to it..
n especially dear... who realli helped me a lot with my speech n mental preparation..
yup... thu got tut presetation.. haha.. my grp mates like my answers..
dunno if i am gg to be the one presenting instead of the grp together..
o wadvere.. lol...
n fri lsm lab.. heard it's not too bad..
hai.. happening week...
may all my experience, good n bad.. be transformed to my strength n motivation tt will carry me thru the rest of my life.. or at least this important semester...

a PEak AT RAG & flAg at PS & a lil reflections..

went down to help dear with exhibiton yesterday..
haha.. didnt seem like they realli need more manpower...
but i did help out quite a bit..
well.. i am glad tt i got to see a bit of rag n flag.
didnt regret gg down to help..
got to see a few dances..
n the almost full kr rag presentation...
they made a freakin cool train out of junk n scrap materials...
it has wings tt couldbe extended... n it flaps~!!!
alright.. i sound like a country pumpkin..
but it's realli cool...
may be i'll still go down to take a look next year.. hahaha..
if u havent watched one, u got no idea wad u r missing out...

who says singaporeans have no creativity....
go down to ps n take a look at wad ur future lawyers, doctors, engineers are made of...
we have sexy doctors who can realli shake their booty...
n lawyers who do cheer leading...
ha...

anyway... sch has started.. but i'm still in holiday mood..
guess i havent played enuff... so ya noe..
actually kinda sick of uni life..
i shud be out of pru already... had enuff fun with organising events...
thinking of doing sth else..
gg back to sports soon..
when my back have recovered n all...
n hopefully i can lose the 6kg tt has been adding onto areas tt i've unwillingly been taking up in the pictures tt i have taken for the past 1 year...ha..

i finally understood wad dear meant by the happiness he felt when he saw the result after making effort to improve himself and grow for our relationship.. coz i did it too.. :)
we dun always have to quarrel do we?
jus need a lil more understanding and communication... :)

missing the team bonding and team spirit, team work i used to have in sec sch n jc...
havent been seeing much of tt in uni..
well there are.. just not as strong n bonded as wad i had before..
issit different becoz mine was a sport?
no crying and laffing together..
no bleeding, no falling together..
no pats on shoulder, no massage...
no selflessness..
if there are, lil i wud say..

do pple get more selfish when the grow up?
afraid of ur partner stealing away ur attention?
afraid ur partner stealing away ur credits?
does this chi phrase "yi shan bu neng chang er hu" (direct translation: 1 mountain cant hide 2 tigers) applys all the time?
boy... i;m amazed by wad i am saying.. my england..lol..
anyway.. ya.. wad makes a gd leader? can there be no true partnership?
common vision is impt for leaders n hence the team..
trust is.. n a true understanding of wad team work is..
it;s such a sad thing tt i dun see it prominent in any parts of nus..

another 2 weeks of holiday?

whee.. i felt gd yesterday.. coz i bright my lil bro to wild wild wet..
short stay there.. with lil rides to try...
but my lil bro is quite happy.. so yup.. i'm happy too...

treat my fmaily to korean bbq with cost me 204 bucks~!!
there goes all my ang bao money.. lol..
but it;s sth new... everyone was so overwhlemed by the variety...
mummy didnt stare at dear... hahahha..
i didnt realli noe wad i ate..but i was very full...

den i went to pat-tor with my dear at esplanade...
hehehehe....

happy-sha la la-

HapPy HapPy BIrthDay~!!

yippee~!!
celebrated with luna last night..
birthday celebrations for the august babies - shanbing & i..
we went cine to ktv for 5.5h..
hahaha sang quite a bit... i am glad tt everyone sang...
n hopefully everyone enjoyed themselves..
hmm before seth left, he played the birthday song with his guitar and sang along with the rest..
wad a plesant surprise.. hehehe :)
den we went to mahanttan for dinner..had cake n all..

hmm... this year's birthday is realli good..
enjoyed myself.. n got to share this happiness with my friends n family..
i find tt i realli mature after every year...
in the recent years, i always had memory flashbacks on this special day..
the times i laff, had fun n got to know so many great friends...
the times i cried... the times i learnt tt it is possible for one to be so upset tt she could not tear anymore..
the times i screwed up, at rock bottom of my life..
the times i became stronger, fought back and saw who my true frens are..
the time i met my dearest.. slc aka sdu camp for leaders..
who saw and help me thru my darkest time of my life and saw me fight back..
who became my best fren..
and now someone who has became me pillar of support and my motivation..
hahaha..
so much has happened last year..

i'm thankful to have so many frens ard me...
yimin for waiting for me at computer centre bus stop for 30min and paying taxi fare for me when i onli had $5 in my wallet~!!
ahh i havent pay her back~!!
ok.. i realise there's too many pple i wanna thank.. heee... thanks to all~!!

i'm thankful tt my mum gave birth to me 20 years ago on this day..
giving me a chance to see this beautiful world..
a chance to see the dark side so i learnt to appreciate the brighter side better..

i;m also thankful to have my family members ard me even when everyone else turn against me..

this year is special..
becoz i am trying to share a lil bit more..
gg to treat my family to traditional korean bbq later... ex lo~!!!
my pocket gg to have a huge hole later...
hahaha.. but it's worth it.. to thank everyone for being there for me for the last 21 years..

frens.. next year ok? 21st bdae~!!! hehehehe...

welcoming the new academic year...

it's my last day at work today.. FINALLY~!!
couldnt wait to get my ass out of the office..
hehehe...
held on onli becoz of my mum..
haiz....
bought curry puff for everyone...
but there were so few data entry staff tt most of them were given to the senior staff ard..
sigh...
i wonder if anyone's jealous..
coz i seem to have some kinda priviledge becoz of my mum...
ms moria, the media manager actually initiated to give me a lunch treat..
n she asked everyone else in the office including all the senior staff ard whom i didnt work with along..
hahaha.. like some big shot in office...
feel weird..
i appreciate it.. but dun realli feel good tt pple r treating me differently becoz my mum is " someone" in the department...

right.. i need to up my caps..
actually tot of quitting everything n just concentrate on my school work..
may be go swim or jog whenever i am free..
just go back to sch n sports kinda lifestyle..
hmm.. been approached to join the forces...
dunno if it's worth it...
it;s nice to be able to do sth, improve the system for ur course mates n all..
n organise events, lead the team n all..
i;ve had my share n i noe it's fun n like it...
but.. i guess we still have to balance a bit..
studies is still one of the most impt thing for a student...
especially for chem engineers...
sigh.. i am quite torn apart... shud i?

time to do some research perhaps...
time to plan my year ahead..
time to set targets for the new year..
it's quite a gd way to mark the end of my 1st year in uni..
hahaha 20 here i come...
to grow to a real woman~!

welcoming the new academic year...

it's my last day at work today.. FINALLY~!!
couldnt wait to get my ass out of the office..
hehehe...
held on onli becoz of my mum..
haiz....
bought curry puff for everyone...
but there were so few data entry staff tt most of them were given to the senior staff ard..
sigh...
i wonder if anyone's jealous..
coz i seem to have some kinda priviledge becoz of my mum...
ms moria, the media manager actually initiated to give me a lunch treat..
n she asked everyone else in the office including all the senior staff ard whom i didnt work with along..
hahaha.. like some big shot in office...
feel weird..
i appreciate it.. but dun realli feel good tt pple r treating me differently becoz my mum is " someone" in the department...

right.. i need to up my caps..
actually tot of quitting everything n just concentrate on my school work..
may be go swim or jog whenever i am free..
just go back to sch n sports kinda lifestyle..
hmm.. been approached to join the forces...
dunno if it's worth it...
it;s nice to be able to do sth, improve the system for ur course mates n all..
n organise events, lead the team n all..
i;ve had my share n i noe it's fun n like it...
but.. i guess we still have to balance a bit..
studies is still one of the most impt thing for a student...
especially for chem engineers...
sigh.. i am quite torn apart... shud i?

time to do some research perhaps...
time to plan my year ahead..
time to set targets for the new year..
it's quite a gd way to mark the end of my 1st year in uni..
hahaha 20 here i come...
to grow to a real woman~!

when her man is busy...

it is likely tt a woman will feel unloved, ditched, unwanted, taken for granted when her man is busy and he cannot give her the attention she needs, the quality time she needs... full attention i mean...

here's some advices from my personal experiences and wad i've read so far:
1. stay strong
2. throw ur neagtive tots n feelings aside
3. try physco urself tt he's busy and stressed up
4. understand tt u r always in his mind n heart
5. he onli needs u to be there for him.. to listen to him complain, to give him the tightest n biggest hug u can give even if u cant wrap ur arms ard him.. :P
6. if u cant do the above very well, start keeping urself busy..
7. be patient n wait for ur man..

he'll be back.. at least tt's wad i experienced.. with even more than u expected.. he;ll appreciate it.. n he'll be sweeter than before... tt's my boy...

lalalalala....

hello.. i am back~!!

back from my lil getaway with dearie... hehehe..
well, we didnt realli do much..
everything else the same..
but i guess we realli have time to slack together since we got a chalet...
dun have to worry so much about time n all..
heheheh..

n i got a lil birthday surprise celebration from dear..
hehehe.. simple yet difficult to plan i guess...
he made sparkles to compensate for the fireworks we didnt get to see on the first day..
so sweet.... haha didnt get to see the words "happy birthday" but it's realli pretty..
realli appreciate it coz he was so busy..
wasnt easy for him to go for this chalet already..

i guess wad we do isnt realli impt..
wad matters is the quality..
quality time is impt...
even lazing ard n not doing anything constructive feels gd... :P

Counting down to the day i turn 20~!!!

11 days to 20!!

pple say tt when u turn 20, time will start to pass by realli fast...
ha.. i wonder...
ever since i stepped in uni..
time have already sped up..
dun have to wait till 20..
or... o gosh.. will it speed up even faster?

coz i have so many things tt i wanna do unaccomplished...
no time for everything..
hai...
i noe wad to wish for this year.. hehehe..

BoYs ArE StUPiD, thROW rOCKs AT tHEM~!!!

this is the picture efei sent me last time when i was down becoz of someone who wasnt worth my tears.. ha.. it's so cute... n so true... my guy frens tell me tt it's very provocative.. well.. so wad? i believe many gals wud agree withi this picture..

i've been relating with a lot of things tt happened in my life to the book i am reading.. n i have identified so many common problems everyone face... it says tt when men are stressed up, when they have problems to solve, they go to their caves.. tt's Martians.. n well of coz when they go to their cave, they are untouchable. they get so focused in solving tt big problem of theirs tt they become oblivious of their surrounding... probably tt's y sometimes women regard them as the most insensitive creatures in the planet.. n the books says tt men n women shud understand their differences so tt they wud not take these "difference in expectations" personally. for example, when a man goes to his cave, he is powerless to give his partner quality attention she deserves. The man tend to forget tt his friends and other pple have their problems too. In this case, the book suggests tt a women shud understand tt his action does not show he loves her any less or she is unimportant to him... ha.. true.. it helps.. but was happens if the gal also have problems n she needs him? is it a good excuse for the man for not being able to be there for his gal? is it a good excuse for the gal for failing to be understanding and supportive instead? who shud be the one making the sacrifice, to throw away his/her problem aside for a while to be there for the partner? how do we know whu's problem is bigger? everyone values it differently.. the book does not say how.. n i wonder wad shud be done..

perhaps we shud all be more independent..
sometimes i wonder...
men claim tt it is very difficult to understand women..
so wad about men? r they any better?
men likes to feel needed.. it is the way to motivate men..
men ask women to feel free to show her weaknesses to him..
if not he feels unworthy of her love..
so women becomes more dependent on men..

n when u r needed, but u have ur own "bigger"problems, u hide in ur cave n leave ur poor gal outside crying n doing lots of nonsense to get ur attention..
she may claim tt u r not giving her enuff attention
she may say things like u dun love her enuff..
she may say tt she can find better guys outside, y is she still sticking with u..
she may pick on everything tt u do...
she'll just do all sorts of nonsense... unreasonable or not...
she probably wudn't make any sense at all..

so u have a good excuse for not being able to be there for her..
helplessly, she decides tt she has to understand wad u r gg thru.. n assumes some reason to console herself.. so wad's the onli way out? i feel it's still best tt women can be independent as far as possible.. in times like these, u r the onli one who can help urself.. u cant expect others to be there for u.. becoz they may also be gg thru some rough time.. may be if u r lucky, some gd fren of urs who's free n cheerful for the day will pop by n pull u up from the quick sand.. moral of the stroy is.. when u feel helpless.. u tried to crawl out of tt shit but u fail.. when u did all sorts of nonsense n call for help but to no avail.. stop struggling.. becoz u will just fall in faster.. just wait... i like to be in control.. but perhaps hk is right... no one can be in total control of their lives... just do wad u can.. when u cant, may be losing control is the way to the problem..

am i making sense? coz it seems like i am just typing wadever tt comes to my mind..
~ but i am onli human... ~ or rather woman...

i wish....

feeling very irritable today..
so here's my 2nd post of the day...
i have a new batch to key in.. but i am so sick of doing this nonsense...
i just keep falling alseep when i see the same stuff over n over again..
i realli dun like this holiday...
my mum said tt i onli tot of having fun.. keep playing all day...
like since when?
for fwc, i was one of the organisers.. when did i realli have time to slacken, relax n play?
i tried.. but the comm was so small.. n pple were starting to get sick of preparing for the activities... once they feel tt they r done with their prog, they start to bug off.. have to plead them to help.. keep calling n calling.. until we all started to get a lil pissed off..
i am happy tt we did a relatively gd job.. n it ended successfully.. but where is the real fun?
the playing kinda fun? when did i ever get tt?
my entire holiday is about studying, planning, working n nth else..
i occasionally find time to spice up my life with dear.. but they r so lil as compared to wad i have done with the bulk of my time... tt's the onli lil fun i had this holiday n it's not enuff...
i am seriously deprived of the fun factor here...
n i am so afriad tt i have not slacked enuff to prepare to mug all the way next sem..

i wish...
to go on a reali holiday.. overseas... away from home.. away from singapore..
to have time to wake up late n hit the pool or go for a jog everyday...
to nua on my bed for the entire day..
tt i dun have to be responsible for anyone else.. it's impossible to allow myself to be so selfish in real life though.. it's just a dream.. n i am just rattling...
to get out of this job immediately...
to have time to experiment some cooking with dear..
i wish tt i can have a happy and fulfiling holiday...

holiday?

it's been more than 2 mths?
i havent realli enjoyed my holidays..
first was special sem..
then i started working in the last 2 weeks of my special sem..
after exams, i was busy with chess fwc..
now tt everything is over, i still cant enjoy it fully..
becoz of this stupid job...
cant blame anyone can i?
my mum helped me to find this job..
so i have to be responsible for her..
i cant quit early or anytime just like everyone else..
even if the employment law allows me to terminate the contract without any reasons with notice, i still cant do it..
ahhhh.. it's such a dread..
n the job is boring... i face the comp and the same survey forms 9.5h a day...
tt's if i have things to do..
if not i rot..
i started to bring the book dear introduced to me to read..
at least sth..
hai.. so irritating....
this pain will onli go off on 11th...
n sch will start on 14th~!!!
3 days~!!! 3 days is not enuff~!! i had 3 months~!!!
no more working next holiday.. tt's it...
AAaaaAAAaAaaaaaarrRrRrRrRgGgGgGgHhHhHhHhH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

new trial on colorgenics.. how true...

You feel as if you have missed out on a great deal that life had to offer and you go about trying to make up for past failures. Naturally at times you get depressed and you try to compensate for your 'missed opportunities' by living your life to the full. This is what, perhaps, may be described as 'living with exaggerated intensity'. In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that you are right.In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

The fear that you may not be able to fulfil or realise all of your ambitions makes you work and play hard. The thought of being prevented from achieving the things you want leads you to play your part with frantic fervour.

a Fair WeaTher FreN i AM...

feeling remorseful onli after reading the introduction of "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus". I have identified myself in the introduction story provided by the author of the book. Not going to expose too much about us..
but i have to apologise to my dear for all the pain i have brought to him.. tt's all for now..

The eND of MY 1ST yEAR uNI

fwc has finally ended....

we have all been busy since last year...
working our ass out for our dear juniors..
starting almost from scratch...
meeting so many obstacles n cockups..
finally.. it has ended successfully..

ha... though i didnt get to interact much with the freshies because I was so involved in the programs n helping my frens with their stuff..., but i still enjoyed myself..
iam so glad..
so proud of the fwc organising committee...
we were all busy with our own duties in the different comms..
it felt like we were rather scattered before fwc..
but our bonding showed during fwc..
it;s so easy to get help from everyone...
ah... perhaps it's because this comm are made up of mostly pple who has the passion, who wishes to make this happen... n create great memories for them...
yeah~!!! hip hip hurray~!!!

the end of fwc marks the end of my 1st year in uni..
it has been a great year even though I havent cried as much as I had before ever in my life this year...
I am leaving behind my past and only holding onto the good memories with my friends, family and my dear..
06/07 shall be a great year i promise myself..
dun let anyone hold you back..
dun let yourself down again...
my caps will climb up high~!!