i lost the battle.. i lost it all...

went to sentosa to recce today with my programms comm and the 2 fwc heads..
we got a lot of things done.. the rough programmes for the 4days.. all the games tot thru... yea... hehehehe... we practiclaly combed the entire sentosa... time flew.. spent like almost 7-8 hrs there... but i guess it's worth it when u see ur freshies enjoy the camp.. it';s gonna be pretty diff from the last camp we had.. more intense, more competitive, more packed...

n i am right.. u didnt reply my sms... no contact for 2 days already... i wonder when u will break the silence... i was getting mroe and more panaroid as i complained to my frens.. came up with all sorts os possibilities of y u r doing this to me... i'm not so much upset becoz we arent spending time together... i'm upset becoz u claimed to be so busy n tired.. so busy tt u dun even have time to drop me a single sms to say hi? ormay be u r relali not concerned.. may be i never crossed ur mind... dunno... but i am sure.. i;ve said things i dun realli mean... i'm just realli frustrated... y apologise to me? y not make things best as u can? waiting for me to pull us back together? me again? no.. sorry.. it doesnt work this way all the time... if u r sick of me, let me noe.. i didnt do anything wrong.. i dun deserve this...

sigh.. perhaps u need time off.. perhaps u needa think thru how to face me again.. perhaps u r disappointed with urself too becoz u cant give me wad u wanted to... so r u making this any easier for the both of us by doing wad u r doing now? r u making me any happier like tt? i dunno wad u r thinking... u r driving me crazy...

i decided to stop guessing.. to make my life easier... i'll let others take over.. let everything else take control... i need more distraction... from this problem tt is causing me all these pain... n at the same time, i am falling sick.. so sick.. i dun feel like moving anymore... so weak... someone save me... i'll cry in ur arms now if u r here...