may be i should just avoid him...

i was realli pissed yesterday... got into this deep shit when i did practically nothing.. SOOOO FRUSTRATING~! it's end of the month.. my pocket's realli tight... the worst state i've been in my 18+ years of life.. call me a drama queen for all i care... here's my deep shit story:

firstly, i used to have 100 bucks savings... tt wasnt long ago.. like about 2 weeks ago? den chris lost money... so being this soft hearted caring girlfriend, i foolishly agreed to lend him 50 bucks under some circumstances which i dun quite remember.. 50 bucks.. ya it doesnt sound like such a big deal.. y did i agree? becoz we both believed that my dear buddy Xinglong will transfer the 50 bucks to me like real soon.. he's my buddy. i trusted him. and chris needed the money. how could i say no? later, chris lost more money thru soccer betting (i hope the gov closes down sg pool and stop all illegal gambling, i seriously do hope so).. he was so broke. i couldnt bear to see him starve himself so i lend him like another 20 bucks for his meals... and i should have known... he wont spend it.. he rather gamble with it.. and wa la... all gone back to sg pool.. becoz he was so broke and we still wan to go out have fun and date and do all sort of nonsense, i started digging into my savings...

onli till yesterday afternoon, den i realise that i've spent way too much.. 40 bucks have to go for the camp. 36 for dental which i owe NDC for like months already... 100-40-36=24.. yes tt's wad i tot i had.. but i then remembered tt i've been too lazy to look for an atm to draw out cash so i used cheryl's pay. after calculating all tt, i realise i onli have 7 bucks for the rest of this month. it aint tt bad right? it's the last few days of the month. but tt 100 includes the 50 tt xinglong owe me!!!! so i panic and asked for it. he was irritated. i understand. who wouldnt when pple are pressing u for money. Money.. so sensitive... for some reason, he claimed tt i bombarded his hp with 5 sms at a time. for goodness sake, y do u pple like to owe others money for so long? when u get ur pay, pay ur debt first~! it's been wad? a week or issit 2 since he got his pay. for some reason, he just dun wan to pay me back~! and he claims tt he is broke. he doesnt have money to return me~! innocently, i got into this deep shit. and he called chris up to complain me bugging him~! HELLO~! I AM THE VICTIM HERE~! argh~!!!! and he told chris tt i am becoming more brainless becoz i "cant follow simple instructions". WTF~! yes sir! i am not recieving any commands from u bastard~! i am soo super angry~! wad the fuck do u treat me as? argh... i swear i wont get involve with such stuff anymore.. just dun bug me~!

sigh... during the last day of the camp, i dropped my fone and the LCD screen broke. so my parents sent it for repair and bought me a new one. yeah. it looks cool. but aint tt impressive after all. i wasnt very excited when i got the fone for some reason. and yesterday night, mum told me about our financial problem. she asked me if i wan another birthday present or take the fone as one. well, i guessed she need the cash. so i told her i'll pay for my new fone ans she can get me sth else.. it probably wont be tt expensive... so... i hope tt some how helped. and since coach just paid us recently, mum wont have to give me pocket money for this month, and i wont have to pay her any sum. the good thing is tt i "got" my pocket money much earlier. the bad thing is tt my 200 bucks salary from coaching my juniors r all gone... sigh...

but i am looking on the bright side of life. it's end of june~! so... coach will be paying us soon~! hehe...

chris just complained.. he bet 200 bucks with xinglong yesterday. he won, supposedly 180.. and xinglong ot his fren dun wanna pay up. they claim tt extra time is counted. like since when? even sg pool dun. sigh... i dunno wad to believe. but it seems like xinglong isnt as trustworthy as i tot.. since he looks down on me, i shall stay away from him. chris is right. i shouldnt bother about the way he sees me... i am who i am. i am confident as i am.. so who cares? i'm going to uni and lead a happy challenging life. u can do it, shirley! u're the best~! let the rest who r jealous of u, think wad they wan. they cant do wad u can do. so be happy and stay cheerful~! :)

Phew~! back from softball camp..

hello... havent blog for quite some time... i've been busy with the TK softball camp since Monday.. yesterday was the day.. now i can finally have a good rest.. hee.. ya.. i woke up at almost 12 noon.. muahaha...

Monday was the first day of thier camp.. i think they came pretty early to "check in" to their "1/2 star hotel" as most of the sec1s call it.. why only 1/2 star? they are staying in the classroom block. 3rd storey. no aircon. and wad's worse? they had to carry the green and blue gymnastic mattresses all the way to their allocated classrooms. haha.. it was quite entertaining watching them. evil me~! it reminded me of my sec sch days.. lol.. but we were more lucky to have a more supportive principal then.. thanks to all, we could sleep in the studio where there's air con and located at the ground floor... it's like one big cool classroom where everyone can sleep together and interact better.

I lost my voice and started suffering from sore throat after the first day. Then i got fever for the next 2 days.. sigh... was so sick and busy sneezing tt i was reluctant to move around or scream at the notti sec1s like i did on the first day. thank god, jan, cheryl and calista came.. they did most of the coaching. while i tried to help. i tried.. realli.. i was so sick that i wished there was a bed there for me to rest on. o our superstar feli came for the first 2 days too.. like for a while.. she's still the feli i knew when i was in my lower sec. she's realli funny.. she laffs like no one's business especially when she gets excited playing rugby.. lol... it was fun...

Wednesday was probably the more memorable day of the 4 days camp. training in the morning was more relaxed as compared as the first 2 days. in the afternoon, the sec4s came to play friendly with the sec2s... i'm glad to see that they still have the skill in them even though they havent trained for some time. angie even made a home run.. how cool~! tt strong gal make gd hits with such little effort. i tried to hit too.. wasnt too gd coz i keep popping.. but i could contact clara's ball which was fastest among the pitchers present.. so i'm quite contented after losing touch for more than a year..

The highlight of the camp started realli late on Wed night... it was the traditional performance night.. the sec2s did a great job... totally hilarious.. i like cai miao's ah beng part.... she totally behaves like one~! sec2's singing was not bad too... dian's voice is great.. the sec3s were creative.. the best among the 3 i guess... coach did a lot of talking and debriefing... while coach zhang was busy playing with Duncan, coach's dearest pet dog.. i stayed overnite with the gals tt nite because it was too late and i'm plain lazy to come back early next morning. it was fun. learnt a new game call Asshole Daidee from the sec4s... played with them till bout 2 or 3am before i turn in with the j1s... had a hard time sleeping becoz the mattress was tough... not used to it i guess...

we woke up realli late the next day. by the time we were heading for breakfast, most of the juniors were getting ready for training.. lol.. lazy us... i didnt do much during the friendly with vj team. slacked ard... o... did i ,mention tt cheryl passed her driving test already? how cool~! i'm so envious of her.. mum wont let me learn... we took coach's car out to buy fruits for her.. haha.. i was kinda worried when cheryl first started but it was smoother than i tot.. better than daph's drive.. hehe... it seemed so easy.. like playing arcade.. lol.. i suck at it though...

finally, the pitchers were to pitch for the sec2s to bat... i took the chance to hit some balls.. hee.. made a few gd hits... so happy~! hehehe... but i'm going to NUS.. probably wont play there.. may be fac games.. haha...

hm... i realli hope the sec2s will do well in their upcoming nationals.. firts game starting on wed... jia you gals... believe in urself and be strong in ur mentality~!

You are a Faerie, mischievous and fun
loving. You are friendly, flighty and can
sometimes fickle and you love the company of
others. You probably have many friends and
delight them with your stories and jokes. You
do also have a rebellious side to you though,
and you like to upset the authorities. You just
can't help it - you just love to upset the
apple-cart!

Your good points are that you're
fun, intelligent and a joy to be around - your
bad points are you can be fickle, devious and
sometimes take your tricks too far! In
addition, you can also be unaware of other
people's feelings.

You love to be in the
limelight and believe in living live to the
full - After all, life is short and not meant
to be wasted!

Are you a Princess, Enchantress, Faerie, Mermaid or Toad? (with pictures!)

what kinda gal am i?

You're like me! The intelligent loner. You're shy
at times but friendly, and you are never weak
and always independent. You are incredibly
intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a
talent for many things (sports, music, art).
You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy
the simple things. Like hanging out with
friends and watching movies at home. But you're
sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an
outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how
pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just
can't seem to break into the crowd and be
noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing
and speak out when you have more to say. Don't
hide behind your books and sports and computer,
get out there and get noticed. You also have
deep desires in life and feel vunerable and
alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What
helps me to express feelings and dreams that I
can't say to people, is through my writting.
Maybe you should try.

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)

My only love comes from my only hate

i woke up realli realli early today.. 7! tt's very early for a holiday bummer like me... i was hoping tt dear will wake up early so we can head to ecp to spend some lovey dovey fun time together before i go for coaching..

i had to becoz coach was asking y we were disappearing.... no choice. he's definitely more impt than softball at this point of my life. cheryl asked me just now during training, "do u have a passion for softball?" i replied, "yes of coz" as usual, but with my most assuring and confident tone tt i could reply with. y so? becoz i was unsure to be honest.. softball is no longer my life like my sec n jc school days. someone has taken over it. yes, tt's my dear. issit too early to commit so much into such a relationship, my mum has ever asked me. now i am asking myself too.. it's been ringing in my head... on and on again.. perhaps so.. after all, i realli realli love him a lot.. i noe how much i love softball. i definitely have a passion for softball. but it's no longer the most impt thing in my life. tt's y i was unsure...

anyway, i was kinda disappointed when he didnt wake up until i called him for god knows how many times... it was about 11 then.. definitely too late to go ecp. training's at 2pm.. no ecp, no kfc lunch with him. sad. sad. sad.

i was at the comp n he started asking me about soccer odds n so. i got irritated becoz i felt tt it was meaningless to me since i wasnt gonna place my bet, n he promised not to bet anymore. wad's the point of discussing and getting so interested about it when u;re not gonna bet? i just dun understand... it started from there i think.. n we just quarreled.. up to a certain point, where we were trying to say hurtful words to each other so tt we can make each other feel the pain we're feeling. we were angry at each other. he was irritated by my rattling about how incompatible we are, tt we arent wad each other is looking for n how wrongly we stared our relationship.. he raised his voiced. he was basically screaming. my heart cracked with every word coming from him. i cried terribly. i was so confused, so sad, so frustrated, so stress tt i couldnt handle it anymore. i tried to run away.. gave up finally and told him tt we should be frens instead. i would say thankfully, he had more faith in the relationship than i have. there was this silence before he started toning down n tried to console me with tt gentle comfoting voice of his. we talked and we finally decided tt betting will no longer be a part of our conversation from then on. it was onli then tt we mangaed to sort of patched things up.

he is actually right. i am self centered to a large extent. i am domineering. i am determined to get wad i wan yet stubborn. i wan everything to go my way becoz i feel tt they r always right. am i stepping into my mom's footsteps? perhaps so... i went a bit too far? perhaps i should just respect his views a little more. let him do his thing, have his way... i gave up convincing him to stop betting.. it;s too tiring and painful.. unfortunately, i dun have the patience to continue this after about half a year.. i am not a very gd gf... i am not the girly kinda gal... i;m not the ready to die for u no matter wad kinda gal. i wont allow him to hit me. i wont allow him to tell me to do things tt i dun wan to do. tt's me. quite a bitch perhaps. i hate MCP. but perhaps i am a FCP? lol... anyone reading my blog? comments pls?

My hate towards VJC

i always wanted to say all these..

firstly, congrats to vjc soccer who got 2nd in nationals this year...

* evil grin *

since my gals are the CHAMPIONS, i believe we should have a bigger share of the field.. more priorities for the champion team perhaps?

dun mind me.. but i do feel mistreated and sorry for my team when i was representing the sch. i remebered tt i cried becoz i feel tt the sch is so baised against us just becoz we were 2nd. if every cca in vj got champs, i would shut up. but no.. then y the arrogance? y the biasness? i cried becoz i felt helpess when we wanted so much to train as hard as possible but we couldnt. i had the idea to talk the team into boycotting nationals. we're not asking for more funds. we paid extra for coach fees becoz we wanted to train as hard as we could to win the title. Definitely NOT for the school, NOT for TYH but for oursleves and my most respected coach who gave all her life for softball. we just needed cooperation, understanding n more support from the school. but unfortunately, we didnt.

we never had a sense of belonging for the school as a vjc softball team member. i never felt tt home ground was an advantage since it was such a STRANGER, soccer's territory. Pathetic. a pity.

the softball team made my days in jc, besides my class. NOT becoz it's VJC. definitely NOT. i have sportsmanship and i shall not go on further condeming these pple. but isnt it time for u pple who look down on my team and my juniors, u pple who said, "finally" when my juniors won the title, give us a break? just BUG OFF and let us do our thing. softball aint tt simple. ya it's a fact tt there arent many schools in a div. but it isnt as easy as it seems. ask ur boys to play with rj boys. see wad trashing u would get. try the vj softball boys 2005. they're the best batch tt i know of so far. they will make u see how tough it is to score a single run. pls appreciate our efforts. our opponets may be new but they r not lousy. just inexperienced. they can be as gd or even better if given a chance to pick it up earlier.

anyway, my juniors got it.. so PISS OFF if u r still gonna treat my dear juniors tt way. we're not arrogant. but if u dun appreciate it, if u think tt we can be easily replaced by any other gal in the school, think again! u dun need us then. we shall see if they get wad they deserved.

i will boycott nationals if i could turn back time. seriously~!

NOTE: i copied this from my frenster profile

i'm a very PMS-y bitch lately.. pls dun mess with me.

CAUTION~!!!!

i'm so easily irriated these days... period's coming soon i guess... i hate to deal with every single detail in my life or worse, in other's life.. i just cant tolerate all tt.. becoz tiredness + stress = ANGER cum IRRITATION... so... just dun mess with me right now... i get very moody n emotional.. the graph fluctuates terribly...

dear's been very understanding though... i love u dear.. n i thank u for tt.. he's the onli one who can take all my NO-NO... my nonsense... i dun have to hide my feelings.. but i try to keep it sometimes.. after all, he's my dear.. i love him too much to make him my "chu1 ji4 tong3".. but sometimes i get too out of control... so... erm.. i admit i am guilty of tt.. so sorry dear.. muack..

hm... he's right.. we're too close... seems like we're progressing a bit too fast without the 2 of us realising it... not physically thank you.. we're getting a bit too dependent of each other.. too clingy... i am sure i am much more commited.. i feel sorry when i cant be there for him when he's alone.. sometimes i even get angry n upset when his family has to go malaysia in the weekends when he book out.. n his pop holiday.. his family has gone to malaysia again... right after the day he pop... wth... so... ok i am no one to comment on tt.. but.. isnt it a bit too #@$%$#^&^%& ? sigh... cant blame him for being so dependent on me for company i guess...

ok sudden loss of words... think it means THE END for this entry.. so bye...

BrOkE BrOkE BrOkE~!

yes broke... sigh... guess wad.. it's true that women need a lot of time to doll up... i dunno y... i didnt do much.. i didnt out on make up.. but i just took like ages toget ut of the house.. agreed to meet dear at 1215 in city hall.

i remebered looking at the clock then.. it was 1136? had my lunch.. which took about 15 min.. den granny physcoed me to agree to doing the laundry.. it is a simple task after all.. she poured the clothes into the washing machine and i just have to give my fingers a few moves of aerobic workout and *tada DONE~! yup yupee.. den i jumped into my deadly purple spag n white skirt and was ready to go. when i last checked the time, it was 1203 already... my fone then beeped.. dear's msg.."i'm onli at paya lebar. how to reach in time?" so i tot ok.. i can take my time... but i forgot about the problem of lagging thru hp trasmissions...

at about 1209, dear msg again.. he has reached. i was like "OMG... i'm so dead.." i was still on my way to the mrt station. serangoon not city hall.. damn.. lol... so i panic and decided to hopped into a cab.. dear called numerous times and i refused to tell him where i was.. he would kill me if he knew tt i was about 300m away from my house.. lol... thankfully i didnt make him wait too long. the cab was fast.. reached at bout 1220? cant remeber.. but yea... it was so damn expensive.. cost me 7.80 damn...

since we would miss suntec's movie by the time we make our way thru the LONG LONG city link to suntec, we decided to head for marina. as i've checked, we were in time for the 1255 Cursed.. great... and it was damn cool.. great 2h... our 16 bucks was well-spent.. we had the entire theatre all to ourseleves.. so cool... no one else watched the show.. hee... and we had centre couple seats... good for cuddling.. keke.... *^_^*

o i spent 8 bucks for popcorn combo.. damn.. it's freaking ex.. how much does the corn cost man? n tt coke from some syrup tt u add water to.. n... the so called free-gift, mr n mrs smith notebook... lame... it's just a way to blind silly consumers like, make us feel tt our 8 bucks is spent more worthy than a 7.30 popcorn combo tt doenst have tt note book.. argh... i'm pretty broke.. but it's worh it for every cent i spent when i am with dear.. he pays for almost everything.. he doesnt like me paying.. so i try to chip in when i can.. hee.. but i still feel kinda ridculous for tt 8 bucks popcorn combo...

after lunch, we headed to vj to collect my cert.. the office was under renovation... terrible.. all the dust in the air... wonder how they can tolerate it.. the cert was kinda ugly.. pink n grey... wad kinda colour combi is tt man? eek~! time flies when u;re having a gd time... it's 4 plus then... so we took 76 home.. coincidentally dear was invited to his ns fren's house for a party and tt guy actually stays 4 stops away from me.. lol.. i so want to tag along especially when it's so damn near... hee.. but then again, it's not so nice.. coz in the first place, tt the party was meant to be a get together for the platoon and dear's not from the same platoon... he doesnt even not tt guy's frens well.. so it would be worse for me.. yup yup... so here i am blogging here... time's up... chao~!

Gambling sux

yeah it sux man... i didnt buy japan win, didnt buy pick the score.. didnt buy singapore win... fuck shit... bulls eye man~! i didnt even check football stats. my instincts told me when i looked at the odds.. merely just took a glance... shit... japan won some team.. cant remember which.. 0-1... shit~! i got the score right too~! even if i bet with the min amt of 5 bucks, i would have won back wad i lost last time when i tried to help dear win back some. sianz... n the whole world seemed to be buying malaysia then. some how or rather my instincts told me to buy singapore.. i remember sg was the black horse since its odds was higher... sigh.... not fated i guess... i just told myself, if i had the chance to walk past sg pool, i'll buy 5 or 10 bucks... damn~! too bad i didnt.. sigh... i would have if i didnt force dear to quite betting.. role model u see... i shouldnt bet when i asked him not to. i'm not addicted. i'm not into betting at all. i dun care how high or low the odds are. i just like it when i guess the score right or got the right winner. yea... so it's not so bad tt i didnt bet afterall.. just tot tt if i could win back tt 25 bucks tt i lost becoz stupid tampines n geylang had to keylong when they havent for the past few sleague matches tt i guessed. i knew i was right. they KEYLONG~! o nvm... haha... it doesn matter anymore anyway...

n i lost my ring today... the pretty n special one tt dear bought for me... my dear ring.. i lost it at home.. u noe y i cant find it? i'm very sure tt my mum kept it when she found the ring on the table. i left it there when i had to squeeze some lemons to prepare lemon tea... argh.. she just wan me to get kan chiong right? just wana see my reaction.. guess wad... i knew it. n i didnt react the way u were hoping me to. ;P anyway, when i came back, i found it on the table... hiding among all the stuff.. all the containers... on the table.. i clearly remembered tt i left it at the corner of the table.. someone must have placed it there. if it's not my mum, it's definitely my cheeky dad... eeek~!

hm.. mum says OCC having promotion for their resorts... 108 for members... include breakfast for 2 and bbq for a family? my god... tt's cool.. so cheap.. i wanna get it for deare if i can... hee....

what do i realli wan?

finally managed to talk to my mum... had a heart to heart chat with her for like 3 hours~! ha... it's always like tt... well, this time, i reminded myself throughout the chat, to listen to her opinions more insteadof defending my stands and my beliefs as usual... it worked.. it was an open n peaceful chat... not realli tt peaceful after all.. u'll know y later...

hm... she brought up many points which i totally agree.. in fact i've seen all tt even before she brought it up... it's true... when i go uni, i'll be very busy.. i'll have much lesser time with dear... not sure if he would mind.. not sure if any of us will have 2nd tots about our relationship and not be able to resist the temptations around us.. it is quite true to say tt we will be in different stages of our lives and experiencing diff things... our minds will mature and change...

would he still be the one i love?
would we differ so much that we can no longer compromise with one another? would he mind tt people ard me and myself r uni grads?
would he develop low self esteem?
(i certainly hope not.. his confidence is one of the positive qualities i like about him... )
would we have common goals in life?
(it'll be real tough if we dun)

so many doubts, so many questions, so many uncertainties.. i wished i knew how we would be like in future.. i do not wan to get hurt. if i have to, i rather feel it now then later. becoz love will grow with time. if there's no love, there's no hate. if i'm gonna feel the pain later, ít may become unbearable... it's a turning point of my life... i'm not sure which way to go...

talked to dear today... cried like shit on the bus to his house... i knew it was coming... i knew he wouldnt accept the idea of going for a degree... i understand how hard it would be.. academically, he hasnt done well enuff to go to a local uni... finacially, he cant afford thousands of dollars for a typical 3 or 4 year course... but i just hope tt he will upgrade so he can get a better job in future... it's not jus for me.. it's for himself.. n us.. our future... i dun wish to have any gap between us... sigh...

but wad he said was true... we're not facing the problem yet.. shouldnt get too panaroid about it.. i agree.. i jus wan both of us to be aware of it... so tt we can be prepared and will be able to overcome the obstacles better.... sigh.. keeping my fingers crossed....

It's tough to be the eldest child...

on bad terms with my mum again.. it's kinda sad.. i cant communicate with her. we dun understand each other... ya... i'm very envious of pple getting along so well with their mums as if they are friends.. u noe.. it's a pity... we have different opinions on everything even though the same blood runs in our veins... damn... i'm as tired and sick of this deteoriating relationship.. i never had any intentions to worsen it... if i ever did, blame it on my carelessness and insensitivity.. i know i am.. at times...

i've finally decided on NUS... the seniors and profs played a huge part in it... met them.. had seven to one sessions.. and it was very informative... yet casual... cool i've decided to go for chem engin camp too... since i'm going there all alone.. need to know more pple... she's definitely very happy tt i chose NUS.. sets her mind at ease.. my choice.. partly for her... she must be thinking, "for once, she's listening to me, hedding my advice"... *roll eyes.. come on, i always did... it just takes time to process thru my own set of values... and i noe.. i'm rebellious.. the trick is.. not to challenge me... u wont get wad u wan if u push it too hard...

anyway, back to the prob of my life... yes.. u didnt hear it wrongly.. PROB OF MY LIFE... it will probably be haunting me all my life.... u noe... i realise how little she understands me... all her claims.. she got no idea that i've thought of all the things she said way before all her complaints.... yes i have taught of working part time or giving tuition to earn more, or at least enuff for my pocket money.. but i have a responsibility, a commitment now... it's filial piety... i need to repay my coach... it's been 2 mths? but i cant let it go now.. becoz june will be intensive training mth for my dear hopeful juniors... i cant work part time.. becoz no job will allow me to choose when i wanna work... i wouldnt like my weekends to be taken away.. i had a taste of it.. not being able to visit granny n have dinner with the family on sat.. is quite sad.. n i will also lose time with dear chris.. and tuition... sounds easy huh? but i dun wanna start sth i cant commit for long.. it just aint fair for the kid if i just drop it when uni starts... i'm not sure if i can cope... but some seniors did.. so.. now.. i tot of giving it a try.. but where do i get the kids from? someone pls help me promote... pri to sec shouldnt be a prob... jc.. maybe chem n maths also can make it..

she thinks i'm tt immature... i gotta live up to her expectations.. how her eldest child should be like.. wad kinda person she wanna me to be like.. sick of it man.... yes u noe u cant force me to do anything i dun wan.. i've always been much more independent than the other 2 boys.. i had no choice.. tt was how i was brought up.. since i have 2 younger bro... so dun blame me for believing in myself so much... it takes some time for me to process other's advises or opinion.. i'm not a sponge.. i dun accept and suck up everything tt comes along.. isnt tt gd? having a mind of my own? ah... ya... i'm very sure my mum's advises are for my own good.. no doubt about tt... but pple do make mistakes, don't they? i do, don't u? if i did not stick thru the rough times of handling both softball n my studies, i wouldnt be who i am today.. my positive attributes that softball has shaped me into... i'm proud of it.. and myself... i'm glad i didnt let u stop me..

i still cant tok to her.. sigh.. i dunno how... we're a distance apart... i got no prob toking to my dad if i wan to... my mum... she just shows tt black face all the time.. never cools down and listen to me... when i pour out my feelings, she always have her "definitely right, dun doubt me"arguments... arh... i dunno how to tok to her... i wan to... but i'm helpless...

pple.. read my testimonial... i am a gd listener... a team coordinator in my PW group.. not to get points... but its me.. from the bottom of my heart.. i saw it coming.. all the inetrnal disputes... it's for the benefit of my group... i am self centered.. but i am open and do accept others'opinions... so hello... dun tell me i dun listen to u~!

NUS or NTU?

I got a headache seah... yes... good... NUS offered me chem engin too... but no... unfortunately and fortunately, I'll have to choose between the two... obviously my mum wans me to go NUS.. why? becoz she works there... transportation wise is so much easier n cheaper... but u noe how mug nus is... n i hate tt... i believe in an all rounded education. i dun wanna just mug my entire 4 years thru like tt.. i wanna play halls games, wanna join clubs.. wanna forge life long frenships..n nus have this sickening bidding system for certain courses or lectures.. wa so sianz... wth... n ntu... it's more lively.. yes it seems... but it's so freaking far... yes it's still in singapore.. but i dun wanna spend 3h to n fro... wad a waste of time.. if i were to study in NTU, i would have to stay in the hostel... n man's fav comes along.. $$$$$$ .... sigh... i dunno.. tml there's NUS fac of engin open house... hope it's gd n realli informative.. so i can compare and finally decide.. my parents are anxious.. both asking me where i would choose right after i start reading the letters and booklets.. it's my future.. i realli gotta stop and think carefully...

hm.... o... did situational fielding with the sec1s today... at the same time, we taught the sec1s how to run bases too... hm.. running bases was much easier i guess.. for me, i focused more on the sec2s... i think tt their basics r good.. just tt they r not experienced enuff.. sometimes very blur... especially when there r more than 1 runners running.. poor thing.. a few of them cried... becoz they didnt do well today and they feel pressurized to win the championship title... it's like it's somehow becoming a tradition for TKGS to win C div champion... so.. ya.. i understand... but then again, i was surprised... coz i didnt expect these young gals to be so ambitous... to think so far... it's like nationals wont start in a mth time... they havent even played a national game... u noe.. dun think about the outcome... focus on the process and the outcome will take care of itself... hm.. it never realli got into me.. not such things... i aim to get the title... but i dun worry? hm... anyway shaz talked to them... n i hope they r ok... their next training is in june camp.. hope they cna gain more confidence in themselves.. another thing is... i do wish to talk to them... not tt i'm good with words.. but i feel tt they need to strengthen their mental skills... yes skills.. it is a skill... those were the day when we were lucky to have ms tng... who did so much.. organised mental training sessions for us.. i think they need it to... but we dun have it anymore... may be i can tok to them.. share a bit of wad i've learnt.. i wanna help them...

kate- bless u...

XL's fren, tYrAeL aka cHiN sOoN aka aNdY aka sOoNiE aka cHiNnY aka cHiNs aka sPaRdA... lol... into me a blog to read yesterday... it was an eye opener... astonishing~!!! let me quote some of the blogger's interesting writings... firstly, she calls herself "Teenage Callgirl" in her blog.

Shocking quotes from her blog:

1. If u wld like me to repeat myself, to quote those who have said, "U sleep around". So far, till this date I have had only engage in Sexual intercourse. The kind with ur dick in a vagina... With 2 guys. None for $. 1 rape. 2.willingly.
2. Haha.. you know you can't afford my lifestyle. U can't afford my pussy.
3. A 5figure bank a/c. I already have that so to say. But it isn't enough. Nothing is ever enough. Thats human nature. 5figure... i can scan a copy of my bank book n show u guys. @14yrs old my bank account have already hit 10k. Therefore, many sickening poor teenage guys wldn't pay for dates. Would they ?
4. 16plus. I'm barely legal. But yet, again I'm legal. Fresh meat.

u should roughly get the idea wad kinda gal she is? for those who r innocent or too "clean"in the head, let me spell it out to you.. she's a social escort.... if not, of some kind similar... she's realli young.. not tt i am much older.. but i am shocked by wad she's doing.. the way she thinks about the society, about love and worst, about sex... she doesnt believe in love. she thinks tt most conform. she thinks tt 150 for sex is too little and 500 is rejectable.... not tt i feel tt she should charge any more or less... i just dun think she should sell herself... she denies and give excuses that she isnt.. she calls it a transaction... perhaps it is so.. to her or her kind... but to me, it's just morally wrong.. wad has the media done to us? should we take a step back, stop, and look around and see wad has the world became? wad kinda impact the media has for our youth, the innocent naive minds who r not matured enough to distinguish the gd from the bad and make their own decisions? ok let's stop the GP thing... but seriously... it caught my attention becoz of her attitude towards sex n the way she thinks about selling herself...

even though i believe tt it is wrong, i still admire her to some extent for her straightforwardness, boldness and honesty... she seems like a rich and well- educated gal...if u read carefully and take notice of her choice of words... concise and wide vocab... shamefully or perhaps not, her english is probably stronger than mine... her writings provoke my mind and perhaps have infected or influenced the rest. if not, there will not be so many patriots. but of coz, the patriots includes the pervertic wolves who are interested to get into her pants... I do not think tt it's all her fault to become who she is today. the society plays apart. her family background plays a part. the rapist must have played a part too. whether her story is real or not, i bless kate and wish tt she would not be harmed further..

this blog of a young lady has shown us how human in the world has changed. have we become better man? has the world become a better place, for u and for me.. and the entire human race... lala... (there goes micheal jackson's song).. pardon me for being so corny... but.. realli... look at wad this young gal is thinking. i am very sure she's not the onli one. she's right. ur best fren might be one of her kind. the gal u have lunch with everyday might be one of her kind. or perhaps ur cousin? ur daughter? ur neice?

sigh.. i feel sad... hm.. enuff of blogging about this.. but her blog is sure interesting to read.... not tt i agree with some of her views...

long time no blog~!

ah... i dunno wad to blog about actually... lost touch with blogging... i've been keeping our dear love diary... so there isnt a point for me to blog realli... i've been writing all about my boring days in the pink lock book... it's cool.. it has 2 secret compartments in it... cool seah... anyway, i wrote all my MISSING Us and lovey dovey stuff inside... hee... proud of it... so dear can know wad's happening to me when he's not around with me...

anyway, i just read a few of my fren's blog... hm... christine's is forever nice... her england's like damn powderful.... she can realli express herself well.. hm.. i wonder... y not giver her the best blog award? i've read tt xiao xue's blog.. hm... i gotta admit.. it's realli funny... all the flash work tt she put up.. it's not very pro.. but comical indeed... i think tt's y pple like to read other's blog.. we're just born kpo... we feel tt our life's too boring.. like to poke our nose into others' business.. like to know wad's happening to pple around us... but christine's as good.. coz it's enlightening... she's a natural GP A1-ner... yup~! hm... o n bong's... quite interesting... so sianz.... y r so many interesting things happening to everyone? my life's so boring.. just stone at home all day... i'm wondering if i should go back to work... but then again, dear's gonna POP soon... he'll have a week break... and i realli wanna spend everyday with him if possible... we're thinking of going for a holiday together.. but will mum allow me to? sigh... tt's y i cant start work yet... even if i can find one, it wont be nice for me to take a week leave when i can onli work for a few months...

o... i check out the curriculumn and realised tt nus n ntu offers the same course. went for ntu tea party and almost got misleaded by them.. yes ntu is the onli sch in sg offering a degree in chem n biomolecular engineering.. but guess wad.. it's juts a difference in the name... they still study the same stuff... so... i dunno seah... looks like i got no excuse to choose ntu over nus... i'm torn apart... i've a better impression of ntu.. it seems like a more lively school.. of coz i'm going uni to mug and get my degree... but i wan an enriching 4 years... not just plain boring mugging.. i've always believe tt we should get a all-rounded education... nus's like so mugger... i dun like... n they have this bidding system for certain courses.. sianz... but on the other hand, my mum works there.. i can get free rides whenever possible... ntu seems nice.. but it's so far seah... so ulu.. prob have to stay in hostel.. if not i'll be spending close to 2 h just to get to ntu... sianz... how how?

"Lonely"

Lonely I'm Mr Lonely,
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,
I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,

Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got that one good girl whose always been there like ya
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was
Feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin

I'm so lonely (so lonely),
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely

So lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll

Never thought that id be alone, I didnt hope you'd be gone this long, I jus want u to call my phone, so stop playing girl and
Come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out, I never wished Id ever
Hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girll
Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, so lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely

3 CHEERS TO VJ SOFTBALL GALS~!

Wa La wA lA~! we are the CHAMPIONS~! hee... even though I am not in the team, I'm still so proud of them! we beat hcjc like 6-1 la~! tt's like trashing~! wahahaha~! I am up on cloud no. 9~! yeah yeah~!

okok relax shirley... let's reflect on how everything happened..i met cheryl at orchard today.. we were supposed to shop for her mom's mother's day present.. we didnt get anything in the end.. but it was kinda fun.. and time always pass fast when u r shopping, when u r having fun.. hehe... we went to Tangs.. there's this super big lingerie section where there's this realli COOL nice changing rooms side. One of the changing rooms is called Queen of Hearts~! It like so shiok la~! a bit bigger, u can make it a bedroom already. It might be the same size as some of the bedrooms in the new condos~! It has this super big mirror in front, place for hangers and this big round couch or wadevre u call it! so cool.. it realli deserves it's name... prob live like a real queen if u have tt as just ur changing room at home~! the rest are smaller but quite nice too.. and all the bras are like super cute n super sweet! i feel like buying all of them~! eeek~! I just have this thing for lingeries... sadly, no money... haha.. I was trying to stop myself from trying anything on so tt i wont have a chance to buy anything.. lol..

ok after all the shopping, we took a cab to hcjc since we forgot about time while having so much fun shopping. just when we board the taxi, it started to rain~! cheryl was like "WTH~!" we're both kinda angry la.. waste our cab fare... the guys started first and the game went on n off, on n off due to the rain. they onli managed to finish 1st top where hsien yao, 2nd batter made a nice hit to left field. for some reason, perhaps he was too desp, he didnt listen to coach albert and tried to go to 3. I thought that wad coach albert said was true. Even if u r the fastest runner, u will not get urself safe on 3.. the ball simply travel faster than the runner. It's guys playing after all~! fortunately for them i tot, the game was postponed by the good umpire who dislike to play in a rain. but it's kinda sianz... coz i was looking forward to this game too. i tot vj had a chance to beat hcjc.

o well, den it was the gal's turn. somehow or rather, I have great faith in my juniors. in my heart, i always believe tt they r the better team. so i had no doubts tt it will not go their way! yeah! 1st inning, hcjc managed to score a run. we fought back and got one run. if i am not wrong, most prob, it's candice's home run. wa she hit damn nice la.. it's a drive to between cf n rf... it was clear.. went all the way to the rock stairs of hcjc.. right at the end of tt flight of stairs... NICE~! BRAVO CAN CAN~! well, in the beggining they didnt make gd hits. it was better later. hcjc did hit pretty well in the beginning too. it was diane's ball la. not tt she's not gd. she is. alamak.. she's onli sec3 and she's striking out pple like ESTHER~! lol.. i wonder if hcjc knows... so no face la~! anyway, diane's pitch is not as heavy as putri's.. so easier to send out lo.. but i realli think she improved a lot.. i am sure she'll be a pro by year 1... ya... and i think they can realli trust their fielders.. outfield like how zai~! meiling's catch was superb~! jump n caught~! wa so nice~! PRO~! i think it was 4th or 5th inning tt vj started wacking and hcjc started fumbling... and there came 3 runs... making it 6-1... hehehe.... O ya.. since vj started batting, they had to finish all 5 innings.. the last caught by bong was the most unforgettable~! coach zhang like how smart! so experienced tt she could predict wad kinda ball the batter will hit by the way she holds her bat. i noticed too... the batter's bat was slanted down, brought lower so tt her cut down could be made faster to meet put's ball... not sure if it will be be a gd drive. but i also tot it 's going to bong... coach zahng shouted and told bong to mover forward... and guess wad.. it realli went to her.. and perhaps cheryl was right.. if she was standing where she was, it probabaly might be harder to catch due to the bounce. so we must realli thank coach zhang. she's so pro~! not forgetting coach jo who's been yelling n yelling most of the time.. haha.. she so kan chiong.. quite funny sometimes... but the team and us, will not be who we r if it's not for her. it's true about wad feli n daph say... our basics r definitely better... we dun slug. we dun anyhow throw... haha at least tt's how we r taught.. and wad we know is correct...

3 cheers n 3 cheers n 3 cheers for VJ~! Hip hip hurray~! Hip hip hurray~!

Catching up...

3rd day without hearing dear's voice... without recieving his sms... sigh... life sux... o well, thank god time is passing realli fast... with softball and all the events happening..

i went to watch Sound of Music at The Esplanade on Sat.. quite cool.. they sang realli well.. so gd tt i wonder if they have it pre-recorded... ya.. tt was the highlight of my Saturday...

It's kinda nice to stay at home n slack.. lol... tt's wad i've been doing these 2 days... highlight of my Sunday - dinner with my maternal side of my family. It's weird.. How come the whole world is celebrating Mother's day a week in advance? The restaurant was so crowded... Perhaps it's becoz of the long weekened.. It was Labour day after all...

Hm... O well... and today... highlight of my day - I'll be meeting Efei~! Wonder if anyone who reads my blog remembers him.. yea... How exciting... Plus we'll be having sushi buffet~! yipee~! Luckily I didnt lose any money yesterday.. won a bit here and lose a bit there... so dumb... I won 4 bucks in total.. lol... hope we can win a bit more today... hope to win back the 100 tt dear lost... so sorry...

confused... just dunno which way to go...

i am in a dilemma.. i dunno if i have answers.. or may be i already have? great! bravo! i got my 3As! but so wad?! i dunno wad i realli wanna do in future. i dun realli noe wad i wan. i hate being out of control of myself. i hate not having goals in life... my 4 mths seems pretty meaningless without softball, without mugging...

dear dear was there for me.. but NS took him away from me.. i get to see him onli on the weekends.. bloody gov say 5 day work week.. but he's still onli allowed to book out at 12pm on sat.. wad's the f**king diff? now he got field camp.. i wont get to see him for bloody 2 weeks~!

anyway, tt's not the point... i keep getting out of pt..writing during the medicine essay test was so tough.. havent written for so long... cant organise my tots well.. cant even form a bloody sentence properly. pple seem to be so keen about getting into med..seriously, i'm just trying my luck... see if i am gd enuff to be a doctor. i dun realli noe if i wan to be one. thanks to my good results.. i got into NTU's chem engin too.. where the intake each year is onli about 100+. i was kinda proud of myself.. but rite now, i dunno whether to go for chem engin or med.. med sounds prestigous, sounds glamourous.. but my med fren told me it isnt.. docs are under paid.. so should i? n i'm not confirmed a place yet.. NTU already gave me one. my mum told me dad seems a little upset that i might choose not to be a doc. just becoz it sounds great to have a doc daughter rite? sigh... and my mum.. she wans me to go NUS. becoz she's working there. transportation fees will be lower and i wouldnt have to stay in a hostel. but NTU's chem engin is definitely better than NUS's. NUS is so mug-gy... NTU has more hands on.. application stuff.. i had enuff of mugging seriously.... most belive tt NUS certs are more recognised globally.. even fuyee told me tt Times magazine quoted tt... so... wth... i dunno which way to go... and it freaks me out.. makes me so pissed with myself and frustrated when i am not working for sth tt i may wan.. i mean like getting into med... i am not realli putting in all the effort i can to gain admission... should i even try? sheesh.... somone tell me~!

Who are u inside????

You are a cat woman. You are independant and very
self-rigious. You have a mind of your own and
are not afraid to show it. You tend to hide
your true feelings and get frustrated (easy).

Who are you inside????? (LOTS OF RESULTS)girls only
brought to you by

Wad kinda dancer are u?

You are a Hip hop Dancer. You are the witty chick
in the gang, you have a special life style and
that makes you different with your own unique
way, your friends love you because they know
they can trust you. Your ideal man is the guy
with a free style not afraid of saying how he
feels, and life is never dull with him.

What kind of dancers are you? (Girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla

hee.. i just came back from birthday celebration outing with liwei and meisiang.. havent met them for so so long... o ya.. btw, liwei is the birthday gal.. hee... HAPPY BIRTHDAY~! ya they r 2 of my 4 pri sch buddies... not tt we're not gd frens now... but i guess we were closer then.. we're like the 5 musketters who's always hanging out together, in sch n after sch...yeah.. liwei didnt change much... meisiang did... wa her hair... she got a new hairstlye.. i heard she cut it 2 mths ago.. yeah tt's how long i havent met them.. anyway, she looks cool... more like a trendy chic than tt guai guai innocent nerdy gal.. muahaha...

yeah... anyway can u believe it? we spent 7.5 hours in k box~! didnt even have dinner... oh my... but i'm not hungry... surprisingly... ya... n.. i sang... hehe.. i guess i didnt realli mind going out of tune, singing the lyrics wrongly with my 2 buddies.... hee... and i learnt a few songs from them... think i should go k box more often.. it's actually quite fun.... yeah.. we sang at least 60 songs~! my god... broke record seah~! never had such experience before.. lol... it's crazy.. time passed so fast.. felt like i was there barely for an hour.. hee...

o ya.. n there was this cute waiter who said bye to us.. haha.. so polite... :P anyway, we went to take neo print.. so nice seah! haha.. got 2 act cute one, one realli funny... erm... it's like wei lowered to camera so low tt we had to kneel down so tt we can fit into the picture.. n it's like so last min.. we looked so shocked in the pic... haha... but it's a great pic.. i like tt best~! there's another act dao one la.. a bit weird for me.. i think i look sulky mroe than dao... wei is realli fierce.. n siang reminds me of some teacher scolding her students... lol...

yeah.. had lots of fun today.. even though it cost me a bomb... trying to save up for dear's present.. not sure wad to get yet.. but it's 6mths... half a year.. so i wanna make it special... even if i were to make one for him, on the day itself, we'll still spent quite a lot.. n it's like dear's pocket is very tight.. coz ns pay is like peanuts onli... okie... tt's all for today.. chao~!

Mon seems like an exciting day~!

hee... firstly, i shall reflect about today... hee.. met up with dear dear again.. yesterday's meeting was too short... n his mum is forever back in malaysia when her dear son books out.. i realli dun understand y.. doesnt she miss him at all? i'm afraid tt dear dear would be sad tt no one is spending this precious time with him so i always try to meet him when i can. anyway, met up dear at lavender this morning.. he tot he would be late.. so he asked me to take my time. n i did.. but guess wad.. i was late! like 15 min... lol... dear looked pale.. even though he's already so tanned by the scorching merciless sun... he's sick.. having sore throat n cough.. it makes my heart ache when i see him cough.. he looks like he's gonna cough out his stomach... realli terrible.. i bought strepsils for him since he refuse to see a doc or take medicine. our first stop was tt market tt sells or the amry stuff tt he needs.. dun remember wad it's called though... had lunch.. realli light one for me.. i ordered "xi1 yang3 cai4 tang1".. actually it's more for him... coz the aunty say it's cooling... hee... yup.. think he likes the veg a lot.. yeah.. den we did the shopping again.. think he's preparing for field camp already.. hope he dun lose so much weight.. dao lost like at least 5kg from 10 days of field camp or sth like tt... man.. scary.. o ya dao must eat more ya? hee.. :P

hm.. then we walked to prince and watched the pacifier! ai yo.. feel so guilty spending his hard earned money... all the tough trainings he has to go thru during ns.. alamak... guilty seah! anyway, pacifier was not bad.. it's more like a family show... haha... cute cute... yup... if u;re looking for sth to smile and laugh about.. sth relaxing to watch with ur frens, tt's the show u should be going for... hm.. den we went back to dear's place to drop his stuff.. accompanied him to have dinner... den i went home lo... sad sad... i realli dun like the parting part...

o not forgetting the part we quarreled... i'm so pissed when he oggles at big boobs.. even fat woman's~! faint! felt not appreciated for all tt i have done for him.. felt like he dun realli like me for who i am.. who dun wan big boobs, nice skin n all tt... i realli mean OGGLE! he looked like some wolf ok! felt like slapping him! i was so pissed.. i just ignored him.. it's not realli like a big matter.. but i just cant stand it... the more u love someone, the more impt such things become.. at least tt is the case for me.. sigh... i cried like shit... n somehow he seem to knew wad i was thinking of.. guessed he realli tot about it.. so he answered all my doubts without me questioning or complaining... great.. i was so surprised tt he knew how i felt and happy tt he made me feel better.. so i stopped crying.. yea... it's great.. it's onli been 5 mths plus. coming to half a year... it seems so short.. but we're like a couple who has gone thru think n thin together for years.. we actually know wad each other r thinking of... last week, we bought those silver earings tt i like at the very same day separately. this week, he bought me a pretty sky blue wallet. i've been thinking of getting a new one for months! never realli mentioned to him b4... HE JUS KNEW~!
n whenever i do sth with him, i'll think of him.. for example, i wanna get a drink, i'll order bubble tea if there is. coz he loves to chew on those pearls which r each 30 calories btw... lunch was similar... arent u envious of us? lol... i feel so lucky... hee... muuuack!

ok about tml... well, i was suppose to go back TK to help coach coach the sec1s.. but jan told us tt rj n vj will be playing tml... so hee... meeting jan, pris anc heryl at 1pm for lunch at parkway tml.. hee... den we're gonna watch the guys match.. hope they play well.. at least a gd tough fite so tt rj wont be so arrogant anymore.. hm... as for the gals.. i realli wan them to perform.. believe tt they can... so jia you~!

I'M SO BORED~!

man.. i've been stoning all day again.. or i think i'm just purely lazy? i'm like so sianz.. dun feel like stepping out of the house.. dun feel like realli doing anything.. borrowed books but didnt want to read.. borrowed excel notes from mum, but too lazy to study it... sigh... i'm just plain lazy i guess... no excuses to complain of my boredom becoz i brought it to myself... sigh...

nth else to blogged about... coz nth happen..

wa this is my third post for today.. anyway it's kinda screwed up today coz i was so excited to watch my junior's 1st match today and it had to rain.. alamak.. *faint... so sianz... but anyway i threw with daph n stacy.. so not bad la.. hm.. my throw not tt gd today.... alamak.. i must try to master it when i go tk n train sec1s.. more like getting myself warmed up... hm... i havent bat... i wonder if i still can.. o ya.. i caught for diana~! o crap.. she's so scary.. ahvent pitch for sooo damn long.. and her pitching still hurts like mad... can u imagine if she realli trains for it? it's fast and accurate... hm.. i realli hope cheryl can do it too.. she can la.. she just needs more self confidence.. mroe encouragement.. if not y did coach choose her to be a pitcher n not me? i like being a ctacher.. love it actually.. but i wanna learn pitching too... ok a lot of typos i think.. coz i'm like typing so fast~1 lol... hope u get it... ok tata~!

sth to share with all of u...

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~ Charles Gordy

What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.
~ Saint Augustine

BORING~!

man... i've got nth to do today.. except lto ook forward for vj's game later.. which happens to start onli at 4.30pm~! argh~! since when do the gals start later than the guys? anyway... i can still go down earlier to throw some balls with daphne... and watch the guys match coz they seemed to be a better team than the previous batches... man.. can they hit... hm... they r more frenly and less arrogant i guess... heard that the gals n guys team are quite supportive of each other.. so i'm happy for them... the previous batches never got to achieve tt unfortunately.. we were like 2 different CCAs... sigh... o well... hope they play well with RJC later...

gals, it's time to do ur thing~! show PE dept wad u're made off~! just play well and SHUT their stupid mouth UP! i realli feel like scolding them... WTF... how can they even think of replacing my gals with those juniors who have never played a real game before? u realli think tt's possible? i'm not arrogant.. but it's a fact that our tk gals are not replacable.. not unless u can find any experienced softballer... well, i havent heard of any in vjc so far.. so BUZZ OFF~! if u have no faith in them, y take in so many in the first place? have u realli played in the game urself? do u realised tt the top 2 teams for both guys n gals are always those with most experienced players?! DO U EVEN NOE TT? if there r no tk softballers here to play for u, U'RE NTH~! Other teams especially HCJC can just walk over u~! Jerry will think nth of u... u're not even worth his single breath of screamings! o man.. i'm so angry again... haha... i'll stare at them if they ever say tt today...!

%@ WiThOuT U, wHeRe dO I bElOnG? @%

sigh... i miss my dear dear so much... spent like 5 h with him today.. didnt do much.. just slacked... it's just gd enuff that we have each other in our arms... i dun like sun.. he booked in again... gotta wait another 5 or 6 days before i can see him again... haiz.. he was stoning, sitting down at the bus stop when i board the bus.. he was surprisingly quiet.. i could feel sth wrong going on.. later when i was on the bus, i just smsed him.. n he told me he was trying to adjust his feelings coz he hate it when i have to leave.. or rather when we have to part.. knowing the fact tt we wont be able to see each other for the next 5 or 6 days made both of us sad.. i tried not to think about it.. but when i read tt msg, my tears just filled my eyes.. i knew he wanted to cry.. but as a man, he always wanted to appear strong in front of me.. (o crap.. recalling all these is enuff to bring me to tears...) i jus hope tt these 2 years will fly past fast... real fast~!

he just called me just now.. for like less than a min.. becoz he had to pack up for tml's road march and it was already time for lights out.. o man... i wonder who scheduled tt... they just had road march on fri before they booked out. den the very next day after they book in, they gotta get it again?! it's hell u noe? hurts my dear dear's shoulders so much... he always says, "actually it's ok la".. but i noe tt isnt the truth.. crap crap.. i wanna box the idiotic sergeants~! well, then again, it's part of a singaporean man's life... he or rather we have to get thru it by hook or by crook... poor dear dear...

hm... tml will be my slacking day.. gonna wake up late.. start reading up mumm's excel notes.. gonna realli learn it by this month.. by myself u noe? i wonder if i can... haha.. well, tt will keep me busy... hm.. den may be i'll learn to cook some dishes from granny while she prepare for dinner.. so next time i can cook for dear dear too.. hee... :P

o in the mean time, peeps who read my blog if there r any, got lobang for part time jobs, pls let me know.. i cant do full time coz i'm going back to tk to help coach coach the sec1s.. lotsa shouting and screaming to do.. o.. i've started exercising again.. actually i planned to do jogging on alt days n swimming on the other alt days.. but i've failed twice already... haha... went for a swim on fri.. n sat n sun i was so occupied with dear dear, tt i just tot little of it.. just hope tt i dun grow any fatter~!

mY FiRsT dAy Of sLaCkInG

hee.. i'm a free gal now.. slept all the way until 10 plus am... lol... ya.. wad a pig i am... hm... didnt have breakfast bcoz it was the yucky GREY yam cake! GREY! can u believe it? yucks.. spoiled my appetite... i went online... n not many of my pals r online tt early.. so i was so bored... n hey it seemed like roger knew.. he smsed me at the right time... greeted me.. then i asked him out for lunch...

we met outside meridien hotel.. went to the food court there to have delicious fish n chips! wahaha~! o he has the fisherman's choice aka seafood platter in fish n co.. it's like so cheap compared to fish n co's. onli a humble 5 bucks! n it's comparible to fish n co's ok! have it warm from the kitchen... yummy~! :)~ after tt, roger couldnt find his fren whom he's supposed to pass him a present.. so he accompanied me to orchard lib... hee.. it's cool... borrowed 3 story books.. hopefully i can finish all 3 in 3 weeks.. haha... yea.. later, i accompanied roger to find his cd case. we were both tired.. yawning constantly... ya.. didnt do much.. after tt, we just went home separately...

ha... i was determined to make my day an eventful one... so the min i reached home, i packed my stuff n went off for a swim in serangoon swimming complex. yea.. feels gd in the water... o... i think i got slimmer compared to the last time i swam... but i lost my butt~! sad sad! it's so small now... :P hm... somehow the swim suit seems to be smaller.. no mroe like shorter.. after swimming like obli 8 laps, i was so tired... haha havent exercise for a long long time.. dun mind me.. when i came up from the pool, i felt like i almost zao geng... my boobs were like half exposed already... i mena just the top.. felt uneasy... tried not to make it so obvious when i tried to pull it up higher... *blush.. thank god no guys were around... didnt get any unwanted stares.. heng~! ya.. i just dried myself n went home for a bath...

well, actually i just came home from dinner with my family. becoz of work, i havent been able to have a gd meal with them for pretty long time... it was great tonite.. went to suki.. mum didnt wan us to have buffet.. so 3 of us ordered teriyaki chicken don n ma ordered saba set. wa! they gave sooo much rice.. eat until i almost puke.. n i still cant finish the rice... but it was nice u noe.. realli... hm.. ya den i went to cheng san lib.. ya lib again -.- borrowed a book on dream weaver.. hopefully i can master tt in this holiday too.. hee.. quite fun.. i wanna make my own blog skin too...

well, right now.. i'm waiting for everyone to go sleep so tt i can meet dear soon... but yawnz.. i'm tired.. from shopping at orchard today n the swimming... i gotta go rest now.. *tata*

hee... i'm a free man.. no woman.. o wadever

lalalala~! i'ma free gal.. muahaha... free from tt bloody shop... officially from today onwards.. wahaha~! hm... wad's my plan? go lib tml.. borrow some interesting story books to read... den... hit off to either swimming pool or the stadium for a jog... need to burn some fats... o! o! not forgetting sit ups~! hm.. tot of learning sth new.. may be excel.. dream weaver... o cooking~! hm.. wad else? hai ya... i dunno wad to blog.. i'll live life when it comes la~!

YeS~! i cAn fINaLlY lEaVe tT BlOoDy ShOp~!

ooOOOOoooOooo...hooo... LoL... i'm jUsT ExCiTeD... it'S mY lAst DAy iN tT sTuPiD ShOp... YuCk~! Haha. HopE SAlEs Is gD ToDaY... FiNIsH oFf nIcely... I JuSt CaNt sTaNd thE LonElInEsS I gEt THeRe.. sIaNz... i MeT 2 NiCe pPlE fOr thE pAsT mTh WoRkINg THeRe.. So... sHoULd I LIKe TReAt THeM tO sOmE DEsERts Or sTh?hehe..
MuMmy SaY GoT StAfF PoMoTiOn ON NOtEbOoKs iN NuS... I ThiNK We juSt aGrEeD tO bUY It.. kAo.. 2700+ bUcKs.. i'm So GOnNa bE bRokE... BeTtEr fINBd SomE pArT tIMe Job wHilE i HeLp To CoAcH Tk... HOw BoUt WoKInG AS A RElIEf teAcHeR? gD iDea eH?

Last nite was so fucked up~!

first, it started with my mum asking for my user id n pin no for ibanking. she wans to check my account or sth so tt she can pass me my posb card finally... i had troubles getting in becoz somehow it doesnt tally with the user id n pin no i got from the letters i've recieved from DBS.. she was so furious and kept pressing me for them.. but i realli didnt noe.. i couldnt rememeber wad i did... y it would be like tt.. n she tried it herself.. failing, she stormed out of the computer room. i den tried to log in again because i was puzzled myself.. after a few tries, i realised that i've changed my user id.. sigh... how forgetful can i be? being relieved, i rushed up to my mum's room to tell her. guess wad she ignored me.. i tot she was sleeping.. and later found out tt she wasnt... she ignored me! u noe y? it's the most stupid misunderstanding i've ever known of. she thinks tt i purposely didnt wan to log in in front of her. she thinks tt i wan to hide them from her. i mean like for wad seah?! n she started making a big fuss about it. i tried to explain but she refuse to calm herself down n listen to me. she complains tt i never tied to tok to her. but look! she doesnt even wan to accept my explaination. if she dun bother to listen to wad i say, would it help if i say anything at all? look at who's the one complaining now?

she started brining up things happened when i was young.. from the time i was three... she evr covered about future... wa... tok for hours seah! no stop... n in the end, i was so frustrated becoz she still wotn listen to me, i almost gave up... later, dad came to tok to me n tried to patch things up.. den she came to tok to me again... n we finally ended up peacefully..

i guess we need to communicate more. i need her to noe wad i wan since she has told me wad she expects of me... we're so different. it's hard to come onto common grounds. but at least she knows. she's rite. she cant force me to do anything i dun wan. i'm a gal with a mind of my own. i noe evry weel things tt i wan in life. i set goals for myself in every stage of my life. i dun set long term goals though.. there're more like for the near future.. like max 4 years? i mean wad's the point thinking about 10 years down the road when u can even predict wad's gonna happen tml? by 10 years later, u would have changed in some ways and the goals u set for urself 10 years ago might not have any significance anymore..

sigh.. hopefully things will turn out better than now between me n my mum.. we're like ba1 zi4 bu4 he4 sometimes.. onli when it comes to shopping, we can be like frens... lolz.. ok enuff of complaints for tonite... may tml be a better day...

o ya.. dear never call me tonite.. sob sob...

Happy~! Shalala ~!

Happy~! Shalala ~! It's so nice to be happy~! shalala~!

(WARNING: Content below may be to mushy for certain readers. Please avoid or stop reading if you get goosebumps while u read on. lolx. :P)

yeah! last nite my dear dear booked out.. he tried to give me a surprise but failed unfortunately. he told me he was gonna book out on fri.. but actually he booked out on thu nite. he wanted to fetch me from work as a surprise for me but didnt have enuff time to rush down before i leave the shop.. we sort of argued becoz i couldnt meet him as he asked for. i missed him badly n realli wanted to see him immediately.. but granny cooked dinner for me and my mom wanted me to go home straight after work.. so i did... as a guai family gal..

den we arranged to meet late at nite.. when my mom was sound asleep on her bed.. dad probabaly sleeping or wathcing tv, i sneaked out to meet him.. he came at about 11pm... the min i saw him, i ran straight n jumped on him.. hee.. yeah.. feels gd to be in his arms again.. feel so safe and protected...we didnt do much.. just went for a long walk.. walk around my hourse area... as we walked,we chatted a lot.. he was filling me with all his interesting experiences in camp. i'm glad tt he's coping it well. the surprising thing was tt he actually like life in there. he's like so inactive, totally opp of me.. but he said tt except for the PTs, it's actually fun and a very gd experience. later at about 2am, he sent me home.. poor him had to take cab home since there was no more buses to take... cab fare is ex man!

this afternoon, after dim sum lunch with my family, i met him at cine.. we watched Son of the Mask.. hm... as Stanley has commented, it's not very nice.. funny.. but just not great.. we havent watched a movie together for so long.. den we went shopping.. no i was the one shopping.. and he bought me a pretty cute shirt... hee... nice.. thanks dear... guys who can tahan shopping with their gfs are rare these days. hee :P after tt, as i've planned, we went to Glass House to have dinner. it was nice... managed to get a nice dark romantic spot after about 15min of waiting.. we ordered Kola Tonic. added 2 bucks for refills.. gosh i drank until i was about to throw up.. all tt gas in my stomach made me feel sick! it's quite addictive actually... dear paid for dinner too.. i feel bad.. becoz i was the one who wanted to treat him dinner..

we had trouble going home. i didnt want to take mrt home becoz it's onli a 15min ride. i wanted to spent more time with him.. so ya... silly me tot there's still 147 outside PS... there wasnt.. so we had to walk down the road to find the bus stop... we walked for like almost an hour before dear found it... i guess i should listen to him sometimes.. be a bit more submissive? he's right about the roads tt we should take. we sort of quarreled again becoz of all tt walking. n ya... he's the one giving in again.. i tried u noe.. tried to "hong" (wad's the word?) him... but somehow he just didnt get it or didnt realised it... anyway, we managed to make up.. i learnt a lesson again... sth i can try to do to make our relationship a smoother one... learnt tt u dun always have to be the giving commands in order to lead...

it wasnt as bad as i expected... these past few weeks have strengthened our bonding. we both know it's tough for each other so we both try to give in and avoid any unhappy disagreements tt may arise. i noticed tt we now put one another first before oursleves. it's a gd sign. it's love. dear constantly said tt he loved me a lot today. i could feel all his missings for me.. all his stares and gazings into my eyes... i could feel his sadness knowing tt we will ahve to part on sunday n he'll be gone for another week... i could see how touched he was when he recieved the card i made for him and the "love dairy" tt i kept when he was not around me.

i feel so lucky to be in love with this guy. he trests me like his princess. thanks my dear... *muackz

Happy Anniversary my dear..

sigh... it's our monthly anniversary today... gov brought us aprt.. stupid NS!! well, i onli hate it today.. and proabably every 23rd for the next 2 years. it's so sad tt we cant celebrate this special day together.. we cant even be physically together... sob sob... loneliness in the shop was killing me this evening... the last 2 hours took so long to pass... i couldnt hold on.. i cried.. i cried again... sorry dear.. but i realli miss u a lot.. been keeping myself busy... been trying to pretend tt i can take it... but i realised i couldnt.. it aint tt easy at all.. i broke down.. broke down this evening n cried my heart out... thank god no customer came in... if not so malu... i feel lonely.. plus the missing part... man... felt like going thru some kinda depression... tears just flowed non stop... didnt rememeber how i stopped myself...

anyway, dear called me just now.. thank god... made me feel so much better now.. he's gonna book out on fri... yippee~! cant wait!!! cant wait to see my dear!!! wanna give him thousands of kisses!! *muackz muackz*

Which gorgeous goddess are you?

The Goddess of Roses and Love. You are a hopeless
romantic. Always optimistic and loving, you
have many friends and you are exceptionally
trustworthy. You are a innocent beauty.

Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!)
brought to you by

which ainime r u?

Ok you are a romantic anime girl and you love and
care for a lot of people.There is no evil in
you soul or your heart.Though sometimes people
don't feelt he same way as you do you keep on
trying to change their mind.You love to help
people out and you are always happy.Keep on
trying to make the whole world smile because
you know smiles are contagious ^_^.Oh and if it
seems like there is nobody who could love you
as much as you could love them it doesn't
matter the thing is that the only thing that
matters is that he cares and loves you and it
doesn't matter how much well maybe it does but
don't set you standerds(sp?) to high cuz then
you'll find nobody

If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)
brought to you by Quizilla

wad alcoholic drink r u?

Beer

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
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quiz - wad obsolete r u?

You are 'programming in QBASIC'. This programming
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Instruction Code'), which is so primitive that
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involving the Internet nor even sound, was
current more than a decade ago.
You are independent, in a good way. When something
which you need cannot be found, you make it
yourself. In writing and in talking with
people, you value clarity and precision; your
friends may not realize how important that is.
When necessary, you are prepared to be a
mediator in conflicts between your friends.
You are very rational, and you think of things
in terms of logic and common sense.
Unfortunately, your emotionally unstable
friends may be put off by your devotion to
logic; they may even accuse you of pedantry and
insensitivity. Your problem is that
programming in QBASIC has been obsolete for a
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What obsolete skill are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i dun wanna work~!

O it sux.. sold a piece today... pathetic piece... i feel bad tt sales is so bad n i wan to quit... boss sounded disappointed... o well, it's gd in a way.. she can find someone who can do sales better than me.. i dun wanna stick my bum around, not reaching sales target n get paid.. feel bad... n it's way too boring.. my brain will be dead soon.. coz it's not used for so long...

gosh i just realised how tanned i have becomed after a day or 2 in SRC! i love my legs now.. they're no more fair!! yipee!! but my face... dear's gonna kill me... haha coz now i look like malay seah... haha anyway, he's gonna be charcoal black so i guess he cant realli argue.. hehe..

started reading Wild Blue today... man... the intro of the characters is freaking boring! succeeded in making me sleep... i almost scared off a customer when i sprung up upon hearing the noise created when she moved the hangers.. lol...

o tok to roger on the fone just now.. how sad.. someone stole the money he was suppose to safe keep.. lock wasn't broken n yet the money is stolen.. sad sad.. in army somemore! y r pple like tt? u wan money, go work ur ass n earn it! poor thing.. he has to fork out the money from his own savings...

o ya chris said he's worrying again.. tt i'll be stolen away.. haha.. made me feel important.. *shhh... wonder wad i can do to make him feel more secure... i sms him quite a lot today.. fone bills gonna go up this mth..

o lately feel tt i somehow need companionship quite a lot... been working in the shop alone for too long! ha actually onli a mth... but.. it sux.. i cant stand being alone.. tokign to roger these few days somehow cheered me up.. thanx brudder~!

yipee! I played softball today!!! hip hip hurray~!

Man.. i'm tired... slept at 2am this morning.. and yes as expected i woke up late and reached SRC at about 8am.. it's cool.. i love the feeling when i'm in SRC... so many softballers around...so many laughters and screamings... it makes my heart beat almost as fast as if I was playing. I was still pretty sleepy early in the morning..

Helped TKGS to warm up. My tossing is getting from bad to worse. guess they werent very happy with the batting too.. hm... their semis was not bad... they made gd hits, played relatively a gd game... i'm quite inspired to play again... they won happily with a score of 13-0. well, unfortunately, vj lost 4-3 to hcjc... ya our shi dui tou... anyway, it;s a ok match i guess.. meilin caucght a fly at cf. threw to can n can threw home.. wad a nice catch! wad a nice throw! nice OUT!!! hee... so exciting...

At 3.30pm, TK played finals against RGS. Surprisingly RGS has improved a lot. Tt's gd actually coz sg softball standard seems to be dropping lately... it was quite a hard fought match.. 2-1 and we WON~! hee.. but very scary seah... After that game, I made a very important decision. I'm going to quit my job and concentrate in helping coach with the gals.. The government has changed it to a 5 day working days system. It's very hard on coach jo coz she has to squeeze b div, c div n sec1s trainings all in 5 days. I wan TK to win. I just feel that it's my duty to help TK, to help caoch. After all, she has put in so much effort in imparting her softball skills to us. Apart from that, it's a chance for me to get in touch with softball tt i miss a lot and escape the boring working life in tt small boutique. Working there alone drives me nuts! Hee...

O! i threw with daphne today. wasnt quite confident in the beginning.. but WALA! I threw well. it looked fast to me. and daph said it's hard so YEAH~!!!! so encouraging... i wan to train hard eagerly and show myself wad i can realli do...

O yea... watched the last match.. A div boys finals.. ya as usual it's hcjc vs rjc. standard of the pitchers have dropped dramatically. not tt i can actually critisize but REALLY~! i was quite disappointed becoz it almost felt like a one sided game. RJ had wad? 5-6 pitcherS!! leaving HC to erm... 1 or 2? and i was told tt they arent very gd.... compared to kenneth.. sigh... well n may be becoz of tt, there were more hits so in a way it was pretty exciting to watch. For the first time, i hoped HC could win. Becoz RJ is just way too arrogant. When we won champs, we're not even close. Even some of the national team guys agreed... O I watched with Roger.. he's quite a nice guy.. so gentle and yet so tall.. standing at 1.8m.. i feel so short beside him.. o and his hands are so big! mine's like some baby's hands compared to his. the game got boring when HC actually let RJ score 7 runs in one inning. Disappointing. Luckily there's roger.. who kept chatting with me... If not, i might have fallen asleep there. i admit tt i was pretty tired by then...

getting headache now... gotta sleep early tonite.. chao~!

I've got so much to say.. but i dunno how to really describe my feelings and spilll all i wan to say out... hm.. o well...

yeah.. i fianlly change my blgoskin! got sick of the pink even tought it realli shows ME~! and this skin.. realli close to my herat... hope when chris comes back, i can show him.. i was searching for some new skins for the last few days... came about quite many nice ones.. saved some in my mail box so i can use them in future... i chose this becoz it's simple... n ya close to my heart... the kinda feeling when u miss someone is just undescribable... hee... chris called me this evening.. ya.. wad a surprise again.. becoz ealier on he told me tt his hp batt flat, wont be able to call me for a few days.. but thank god tt his mum gave him a $20 fone card when he went in.. so wa la~! he used public in the camp to call me.. yeah~!!! so nice of him... we talked for about 3 min 25 sec according to the fone in my shop... yup.. short but sweet.. enuff to make my day a happy one..

o ya... finally discussed with my mum about uni applications... gonna choose chem engin... but for nus, med gonna be 1st choice...she managed to convince me to give it a try.. den comes chem engin, chem, arts & social sci n lastly, BA~! haha weird 5th choice though... NTU i think onli can put 2... so it'll be chem engin den acc... has anyone completed their uni application? hm.. any comments before i apply?

next, thinking of job hopping again.. coz it's so damn boring~! anyone got lobang? i wan a 5 day job or man 5 1/2 days? pay 950 n above? let me noe if u do ya?

Looking at my blog skin again, i suddenly feel that the blog realli suits me. i like the feeling of being able to control my life. i like the feeling of knowing wad i wan in life, have goals, have goals to work towards, work realli hard n achieve them. now i believe i can. after my As especially. time flies. i remembered that i have to go thru quite a lot of trouble to get my butt into vjc. tan seemed to give me the impression tt he looks down on me becoz of my prelim grades. in my first few mths in vjc, i also felt the same way towards ms rajan. i was reported to be not interested n not attentive in class. i remebered getting very angry with her for tt becoz i knew i was innocent. well, my testimonial now shows who i realli am now. i'm happy and surprised wad a good testimonial she has written for me. thanks ya? then, i felt tt pple looked down on me. fortunately, instead of losing my confidence, i swore to myself that i will get my 3As by the end of the 2 years. even since then, i worked hard all the way. it's wasnt a smooth path. had trainings almost 5 to 6 days per week during game season. cant believe tt i could still handle my studies then when i look back. o yeah i did it. great. now i believe tt i can achieve nayhting as long as i work for it. hee..

o dear called me today.. hee.. so happy... he can call me every nite befoer he sleep now.. yeah~! i feel closer to him now den yesterday... it isnt so bad after all... a short 1 min of his voice would make my tears fall like the fountains.. simple words like "i miss ur voice so much" makes me tera, so touched. wad he said was true. if we can get over these 2 years, we'll probably end up as a married couple in future. i already get the hint tt it's not going to be easy. we'll see... i do hope tt tt will happen... *muackz

ok my blog is like in a mess.. i just type wadever i'm saying to myself... it's so disconnected.. haha... chao~! tml got to work!

%@ i love u chris @%

man... reached home at about 1.30am this morning. den chiong back in a taxi to chris house early in the morning. the last few hours before we sent him off to tekong were so precious.. now i realise how much i love him.. he means so much to me.. i cant stop thinkign about him... promised him not to cry when i send him off. so i kept it. but as soon as the bus left. i just burst into tears. have been crying on n off since morning... my eyes n nose are so swollen n red..wad's worse? i'm all alone in my big house. bro went out. parents in bintan. dunno who to call. crap.. can it get any worse?

Hip Hip Hurray~!

Wow havent blog for soooo long ever since i started working.. much has happened... firstly, i was transferred to the "NEW LINE" branch in Amara Hotel in Tanjong Pagar. I was pretty scared in the beginning. After all, I've only worked with them for like one month plus. Fortunately and unfortunately, there's little crowd... i can actually keep count of the no of customers coming in... hence, sales is bad and it's very difficult to reach the sales target which is already $10,000 less than OUB branch... i get a lot of freedom there... I can listen to wadever radio station i like or play any CD.. i can do wadever i like when there are no customers... hehe... it's kinda boring sometimes.. so gotta keep myself busy... i even started matching clothes and dispaly them on the maniqueen (however u spell it)..

O ya the highlight of this post! All my hardwork has paid off! I GOT MY 3As! My GP grade was a bonus! Not superb but a B4 is much better than a pass that I was hoping for. The period before getting my results was not so nerve-racking for me.. becoz the first thing i did when i reached school was to check for my name on the "3As list".. hehe... :P

My frens did pretty well too.. and I'm happy for them.. hope that they are satisfied with their results.. :) hm... that's about all... hope to see u guys soon~!

o ya.. i still cant decide wad to study.. any ideas? no business related courses please...

Happy birthday to mummy~!

Happy birthday to u.....
Happy birthday to u.....
Happy birthday to mummy.....
Happy birthday to mummy.....

ya from my topic, you would have known... it's mummy's bdae today.. went to east coast toh luck group seafood restaurant... wo.. food's gd.. fresh and of coz expensive food! lolz... 300+ bucks for 6 dishes!!! but it's realli gd food.. beijing duck, suckling pig, steam fish, scallop brocolli, crispy noodles, cereal prawn... wahaha.. have i made u drool? mum was too full to have a normal size cake... so i went to coffee bean to get her two slices of cake... one coffee.. the other's oreo chesse... yummy.. honestly, i think i enjoyed it more than she did.. oops keke :P sinful~!

chrissy poo is still out of town.. sianz... fone's so quiet these few days... sigh... sad sad... not tt i can go out though... dao asked me to go for movies.. sorry but i have to work... sigh... u noe wad? it's pretty ridiculous in the beginning... i had to work today.. third day of cny... on my floor, second floor... we're the onli kiasu boutique tt's open... the other 2 are vnc which sells shoes and blush.. the pretty bra shop... it's like haunted in the morning
but guess wad.. business was shockingly gd! granny expected 200+ onli.. but we make like 800+ sales today! woohoo... weird weird... y would pple be buying clothes now.. and best of all.. there's no sales going on at all~!

ok tt's for all now... chao!

Year of rooster

In general, the yin wood Rooster is symbol of more moderate changes and flexibiltiy . The metal cutting the root of the flower still represents hidden danger and disturbance to the foundation. But the flower is by nature moderate and easy to submit. So it will be a year of resolving conflicts and disharmony in international relationship by compromise. And this may lead to longer term peace as from 2006.

The animal sign, which are not so favorable, is the Rabbit, which is into a year of clash against the Rooster. Such clash usually bring about movements. So people born in the year of the Rabbit will anticipate more changes and moves this year, such as travelling, moving house, changing job... etc. It is necessary to carry a pendant of Dragon as protection to attract the Rooster away. For the Rabbit people, the clash against the rooster could also mean surgery, accidents involving breaking of neck or back. It is also recommended to avoid dangerous exercise and pay attention to sitting posture or position. It is not good to travel so much directly to the west especially in the month of September and March , as west is the position of the Grand Duke of the Rooster year.

The other animal sign under negative influences is the Rooster , which is offending the year and is in self penalty with the year. Penalty is related to hidden danger, hidden sickness and self penalty may relate to disharmony with colleagues, bad competition, or trouble bought about by oneself due to carelessness. So people born in year or day of Rabbit or Rooster should also be careful of their health this year. If clash occurs at the day pillar, it may also affect harmony in the family, it is recommended to minimise chance of such disharmony but taking more trips, or taking the chance to move house if necessary.

The better animals signs in the year of the Rooster are the Dragon, and the Snake and Ox, as they are in combine relationship with the Rooster, so will be into a more harmonious year. There is some good news for people born in the year of the Monkey, Rat and Dragon , they will be into a year favorable for romance. However, such animal astrology is not totally reliable as the system is not recognized as formal kind of fortune-telling. It requires more information than just the birth year to determine a person's luck.

blogskin is down.. tt's like how sad... boring.. wanted to change my blog skin... got sick of tt pink.. too much for me... ya... sianz tml gotta work... i hate my face... so many pimples!! Y?! Y?! Y?! feel like burning or peeling it all off!!! it has stripped off so much of my confidence.. now i have to run away when i see yandao.. gals with gd skin makes me jealous... guys worse.. spoil my day.... sianz... i'm not looking forward to cny... becoz all the aunties and uncles will be toking about my face AGAIN!

Breakdown - Instruction

steal me, take me i am more than this
cause i'm feeling terrified it's obvious
so i look into your eyes and all you see is
breakdown coming on to me
as i wonder just how you want me to be
heal me, take me i am more then this
'cause i feel so scarred in my self confidence
as i look into your eyes you know i'm too far gone to recognize the weakness
breakdown coming on to me as i wonder just how you want me to be
bring it on again i don't know how you want me to be

O wow... i haven't blog for ages... well much have happened in these few weeks. I've job hopped again... now working in a boutique, Estique in Raffles Place, OUB centre... if u're working in an office and badly need to buy office wear, come to me... I can give u 30% discount.. well, onli if u realli do noe me... not any strangers ya...

hm... I've met the boys.. or rather the botaks.. ya tt's wad i like to call them now... lolz... we met at glass house on 21st Jan.. it was quite a short meeting... pple were late... i mean VERY LATE!!! we were supposed to meet at dohby ghaut mrt statio.. only till the time when i reach there did i recalled tt there are actually 2 control stations and numerous exits. didnt now wad to do actually. i knew tt glass house is just around the corner but didnt noe the exact spot. walked around for awhile, trying to find the right exit.. and finally spot dao... i couldnt recognise him at first.. i guessed tt it was him from pretty far away from his unique way of walking... muahaha... thanx to the camp for not changing tt... if not i would be left at the mrt station, not knowing wad to do. i think he saw me... but as usual, the shy him waited for me to take the first move. it was pretty awkward in the beginning... i tried not to bring up our "special incident".. but i guess it was quite alright after all... and well, we had to wait for our tables and the late comers at the same time... we sat around and chat outside glass house for like an hour before we entered...

Glass house was realli noisy.. i still cant understand y they wanna play tt music tt loud.. it's a place for pple to get together over meals.. and yet the music was blasting so loud tt we had difficulties listening to each other. wth! i was quite irritated.. becoz it's a CLASS GATHERING man! We're supposed to ctahc up with each other!!! ok.. well, the hottest topics for the gals were our new jobs and for the guys.. wad else... their first 2 weeks of "happy army days". they just talked non stop about it... from the time they met, till the time i left the group. the highlight for tt gathering for me would be the chance to see them bald! yippee... muahaha... let's recall.. hm... i think anu look best compared to the last time i saw him with hair. lolz... wad a way to say it.. yup... eugene was soooo DARK! his neck is like chao ta!!! all burnt! he used to be the fair boy in class.. yufee look pretty normal... not too dark.. i guess we're all used to it since he was our tennis vice-cap. and dao dao...o did i mention i got a shock when i saw him? he was wearing his army specs.. wo... and tt cap.. made his face look extra black... made me feel a bit intimidated.. felt like there was this invisible wall between us... wad a pity... couldnt feel tt link between us when we were back in sch..

The food was awesome as usual.. i tried fish n chip for the first time.. it was so BIG!! i had to stuff the other half piece of fish into my stomach and try not to vomit.. :P it's nice and cheap... will bring more frens to the place in future.. not tt i never went to fish and co before, just never tried their fish n chip.. haha coz i always went with my mum.. and i always like to try sth diff.. dishes with special names and all... hm.. anyway, i had to leave early since i have SAT and work on th next morning... sad sad...

Yesterday was a great day.. mum and dad went for dinner. so i brought my 2 younger bros out for dinner at Cartel with Chris. Well, it's a short but nice meeting.. my bro hit well with Chris.. it's just the beginning.... :)

tt's all for now... long blog... Chao

i'll miss pple... sob sob...

hm... just had a realli short little chat with efei on msn... hm... dear efei will be going to NS again... haha blad again for the next 2 years or lesser... lolz... :P but yeah.. he'll still look as charming as before... ya i remember... the word to describe him as he've used in his blog to describe himself... "subtle".. havent seen him for sooo long... and ya i miss him... in a undescribable way becoz of the sweet memories he has left me.. it's special...

hm... time realli flies... it feels like yesterday when i just entered vjc.. in a blink of an eye, i've graduated... taken my As... and now it's jan... most of the guys r going to ns... hm... wonder how our class gatehring will turn out to be like.. haha if we do have one... it'll feel like a gal sch class gathering.. lolz... hm.. i'll miss dao too... probably the closest i guy got to noe from 03s44... wonder how he'll look like when he's bald... hehe *evil grin our relationship... i gotta say pretty complicated... i like him... as a fren... but still a little afraid to get too close... after wad has happened... not on purpose... just unconciously...

tml is my last day in yuen yang

yahoo....!!! hm... ... tml is my last day in yuen yang...actually i kinda will miss it... coz there r tqo not bad looking didis working now... lolz... ya didi coz they are 16, 2 years younger than me... but they're kinds cute and funny... cute as in they remind me of the time when i just started working... very hardworking and chiong chiong chiong... never stop working for a min from the time he step into the restaurant... o the hardworking one is hongyi aka john. the other is kim guan.. i still dun realli noe how to speel his name though... anyway, today the work was kinda cool... bully them.. haha... make use of them since they r so hardworking.. :P